Checking the Laundry: Taking a Dive

On this week’s issue of Checking the Laundry, we’re going to analyze some possible dives and discuss them. At first, we were unsure of what we wanted to write about, but we quickly found 'dives' a topic that interested us both.

Tyler: Andy, what should our topic be for this week?

Andy: Goalies!

Tyler: Dives!

Andy: Goalie Dives!

Tyler: Screw you Andy, we’re doing dives.

Andy: Fine, be that way!

Andy: Hey Tyler, do you know what time it is?

Tyler: No Andy, I don’t, what time is it?

Andy: Time to check the laundry!

Tyler: Yay!

The Great Debate

Tyler: If you ask me (and since you’re reading this I will assume you are), Ovechkin’s fall looked a little delayed, not to mention the little act at the end! Down on all fours “oh, I’m so hurt owie, owie.” This Alex Ovechkin, I mean come on. Umberger barely touched him, and then he spins around on his skate like a figure skater.

Don’t get me wrong, I think Ovie is a great player, but this was clearly a dive. If he was really hurt on the play, to the extent where he had to go down on all fours to recover, I highly doubt he would be back out for the PP. Replay the video and watch what happenes right before he falls. It looks a little like he induced the fall.

There was a little extra momentum going into Ovie’s fall.

Andy: First off, learn how to spell Ovechkin Tyler, you misspelled his name five times, and on each occasion you spelled it differently. You have a problem spelling last names don’t you? Back to the video, that was a trip no doubt.

First you see the trip by Umberger, and then Ovechkin attempts to stay up on one foot.  As a matter of fact, it looks a lot like he knew he was going to fall and attempted a quick pass before he fell.

However, he missed the puck by a bit, lost his balance, and fell. Once he was on the ice, he flipped from his back to his chest. Nothing more. He didn’t keep rolling, like people do in soccer when they take dives.

At the end, he stayed on his knees with his elbows on the ice, to simply catch his breath; he wasn’t pounding the ice like some players do.

I’m sure the guys who are reading this can relate…when you’re riding a horse and your horse does a jump...some of your body parts that might’ve been hit in the 'landing' are okay after a couple of minutes right?

Tyler: I see where you’re going with that. No, he wasn’t rolling around like some kind of idiot, and sure, maybe he got knocked off balance a little. However, to insinuate that a professional hockey player was on all fours to catch his breath is ridiculous.

Would it have been so hard to get up, go to the bench, and rest to catch your breath? Ovie was clearly trying to draw a penalty, when he easily could have kept going with the puck.

Tyler: Not a dive. It was a hit from behind and Malone wasn’t expecting it, who would be? He was simply carrying the puck around the net, and his momentum kept him moving forward. When he took the hit he lost his balance and stumbled into the boards. It’s as simple as that.

Moreover, if you think about it, what player would purposely dive into the boards? Falling against the boards like that can cause a serious injury. No player would willingly do that. Not Ryan Malone, or any other player with any common sense.

Andy: This was very similar to the Sean Avery video we showed on our last edition of “Checking the Laundry," Tyler. On the second replay you see Malone get pushed, which results in a small glide. However, after the small glide, Malone throws himself into the boards.

He didn’t dive head first into the boards, no one would do that. He simply dove on an angle, so that while he was still in the air, he could do a quick turn. When he hits the boards, he is on his side.

Andy: There’s always been a debate about this, and they always end up with no solution. I’m going to make two statements:

1. Sidney Crosby is a great hockey player.
2. Sidney Crosby is a cry baby.

I probably lost most of you on the second one, but it's true folks. Cindy Cr…I mean Sidney Crosby made contact with the other player, or at least that’s what it looked like. No doubt that the aftermath of the contact might’ve been a small back glide by Crosby, or it could actually have been the fall.

I personally think it was the fall. So everything was clean to that point. First off, the fall looked a little exaggerated. Who falls having one hand to their heart and throwing his head back? Crosby, this isn’t a World War Two movie, and you didn’t just get shot right in the chest.

Afterwards, Crosby fell down and stayed down on his knees and elbows, covering his head. He was probably covering his head so no one would see that smile he was putting on, or even if his face was normal. Either way, his little fake was pretty well done. Also, he seemed to throw his stick aside when he was down on the ice, what's up with that?

Tyler: Okay, well all I have to say is, it hurts getting a stick to the stomach. He may have induced it a little bit and might not have had to lie on the ground like that. I know this from experience, as I have played centre for years now.

It is true that everyone holds their stick like that at the face-off, but rarely does something like that happen. By that, I mean a stick coming around so , that it jabs into somebody’s gut and knocks them on the ground.

Lapierre deserved the penalty without a doubt. He was trying to butt end Crosby and hurt him. The Canadiens team hates him, and they try to injure him because they know he's capable of scoring on them. It’s ridiculous how we play the game that way.

Andy: Who’s pina colada have you been drinking Tyler? (Possibly mine because I left it on the table and now it’s gone, but joke’s on you, I have the flu). Crosby is a cry baby and you know it. He’s earned that rep, and when we see things like this, the first thing that comes to mind is a dive.

Even if it wasn’t a dive, Crosby has earned a cry baby reputation within the NHL, and until he rubs it off himself (which he’s beginning to) we’ll question the times he gets tripped.

Andy: You all loved our Sean Avery video last time, so we decided to make the “Sean Avery Moment of the Week!”

Tyler: Yay!

Andy: Okay, back to the video. Avery didn’t just dive, he was clearly tripped. It’s a little trick called the “can opener.” Its name says it all, you hook, pull, and twist. Now Tyler, I’m not sure if you learned this in your fifth grade science class, but you know your arm movements work together with your leg movements.

That’s why in sprinting, the faster you move your arms, the faster your legs will go. When Avery was “can opened,” his legs were spread wide by the trip, and as a result, his arms spread wide as well.

He did not have enough time to react and close his arms up, and I don’t believe he faked it because not many people like diving chest first into the ice, or at least not with their arms and legs in the air.

This was Sean Avery getting owned by another player…again, and like I said before, who doesn’t want to kill Sean Avery?

Tyler- I don’t know what your rambling on about now Andy, but I think that this fall may have had something to do with the Jagr hit we saw in last week’s edition. Avery took a huge dive! And that is all there is too it. Your little science lesson is correct, but I’m pretty sure I can move my legs without having my arms move as well, so that argument is dead.

Avery is more of a baby than Crosby; he’s all talk and no walk. Have you ever seen what happens when someone challenges him? He backs down faster than your mom slides into my bed at night (jokes).

He won’t tango and he knows he can’t fight a heavyweight! I mean, even Crosby took on Andrew Ference.

Andy: Okay, here’s an interactive activity for everyone! Try running without moving your arms, and see how that works out. Too easy? Try running without moving your legs (You can move your arms if you want). Tried it, Tyler?

Yeah, what do you think now? Remember, this all happened rapidly, he was tripped and hit the ice within three seconds; he has no time to recover when his arms spread wide. I also liked how you admitted that Crosby was a cry baby.

Andy: Also, I leave you with this funny little video…

Pretend it says “Soccer is for girls, Try Hockey”  at the end. It’s supposed to be a rugby commercial, but oh well, let’s pretend.

 Coming soon: “The Leafs This Week,” The youcastr radio show that will be hosted by Andrew Echevarria and Tyler Hill. If you like the "Checking The Laundry" series, you will like the show.The show premieres Dec. 20, 2008. Check out our site!