Dear Atlanta Falcons: Go out There and Have Some Fun Sunday!!



Seriously fellas, let’s go out there and enjoy playing the great game of football!

But….before you do…I just wanted to cover with you a few implications of this week’s prime time, nationally televised matchup against the Philadelphia Eagles football franchise.

This particular event is a little more than “just a game." It’s bigger than that. It’s bigger than 0-2. It’s bigger than losing at home. It’s bigger than playoff tie breakers. It’s bigger than playoffs. 

It’s bigger than football itself.

This epic struggle between good and evil will single-handedly determine the preservation of humanity on planet earth as we know it.

If the Falcons should lose this game, the earth will open up and swallow millions of people, and the resulting tsunamis from the earthquakes will wipe out millions more in coastal areas all around the world.

In places where people are living, there will be chaos. There will be violence and looting in the streets. Anarchy will prevail. Children will scream, lovers will cry, and poets will dream.

The destruction from the massive worldwide earthquakes will generate a dark cloud that will hover over the earth and block out the sun, generating an ice age that will last 10,000 years and wipe out the remainder of civilization, but only after years of despair, pain and suffering.

If you win, none of that stuff will happen; your season will be back on track, and there is a good chance you will be in contention for the Super Bowl in a few months.

But…..listen……..no pressure. Don’t think about that. You guys just go out and have some fun on Sunday night.