Graeme Swann and Others: What They Said, Really Meant and Definitely Did Not

Diego Maradona, Graeme Swann, Michael Holding and Nasser Hussain are never at a loss for words when it comes to expressing their opinions and ideas on topics as far-ranging as the state of Argentinean soccer, zoos and Indian summers, remedial measures for Indian cricket and how to handle bowlers with kid gloves.

Here's what they said, really meant and definitely did not.

Graeme Swann Is Up to Monkey Business

What he said:

"I dedicate the series win to London zoo. Had a great time there with Wilf and Mrs Swann yesterday."

Graeme Swann, the self-appointed funny man in the English cricket squad, tweets his dedication of the ODI series win over India.

What he really meant:

“I’m going ape with joy.”

What he definitely didn’t (or did he?):

“Just monkeying around.”

Michael Holding Asks the Question

What he said:

“But how come they never miss the IPL with injuries?"

Michael Holding voices the opinion of every Indian fan when he points out that Indian cricketers are rarely injured or rested during the IPL.

What he really meant:

“But how come they never miss the IPL with injuries?"

What he definitely didn’t:

“The IPL is the best thing that could have happened to Indian and West Indian cricket.”

Diego Maradona Is Wary of Argentine Museums

What he said:

"Football there is like a museum—the youngest person is 95 years old. Stay at home with your grandchildren and allow young people to manage Argentinean football."

Argentine soccer legend, Diego Maradona, is critical about the state of affairs in the Argentina Football Association. Maradona was sacked as national coach following the 0-4 loss to Germany in the World Cup quarters.

What he really meant:

“The Argentina Football Association is a museum and I’m not careful around them (museums). I’m like a bull in a chinaware shop.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Nobody told me how to coach the Argentinean side. That’s why we lost.”

Diego Maradona Is Not Interested in Argentine Soccer

What he said:

"Since I left, I have never seen the Argentina team…And I think I will not see them again."

Diego Maradona makes it clear that he has no more interest in the Argentinean soccer team. The footballing great was national coach for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. He was later sacked following the 0-4 loss to Germany in the quarterfinal.

What he really meant:

“The Argentine national team is neither my responsibility nor the Argentine Football Association my paymasters.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“You can take me away from my Argentina but you can’t take away the Argentina in me.”

Nasser Hussain Goes Gold-Digging

What he said:

“When you get a bowler, it’s like gold dust. You do not just let him go.”

Nasser Hussain compares bowling talent to the discovery of a gold vein.

What he really meant:

“Have you seen the price of gold lately? A good bowler’s value is like that. It keeps appreciating—with experience.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Stake a claim and exploit them to the hilt.”

Graeme Swann Feels Like a Nursemaid to His Younger Teammates

What he said:

"When they take their tops off you can see they’ve barely started puberty."

English off-spinner Graeme Swann likes to believe he is the grizzled old veteran in the ODI squad, likening his younger teammates—Eoin Morgan and Jade Dernbach—to pubescent adolescents.

What he really meant:

“That’s what you get what calling me ‘Granddad.’”

What he definitely didn’t:

“You guys can always come up to me for advice on what to do for pimples and dandruff.”