2011 NFL Survivor Pools: How To Survive Week 1

In a pivotal event that would shape the life of Short Round, Indiana Jones proved to him that it was possible to attain the hallowed “fortune and glory” he longed for.  He overcame poisonous drinks, outran flooding waters and defeated heart-hungry villains to do so.  We, however, will not battle Mola Ram and the Thuggees; we will take on Vegas spreads and Ed Hochuli.  We will wrestle with fierce weather, unforeseen injuries and heart-hungry linebackers instead, all from the seat of our couches while simultaneously downing two-dozen wings and six-packs of beer. Fortune and glory never tasted so good.

Survivor pools are not for the faint of heart. A Week 2 exit could cause devastating blows to the mind, bank account and fist as it may enter any given wall, television, mirror or friend; but have no fear, I am here to help. In the past, I have done what Coach Gary Gaines asked of his Permian Panthers: I was perfect (17 for 17). But that was then, and this is now. We enter this season with a different coach and new motto, “Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.”

Coach Eric Taylor of Friday Night Lights and I will guide you week by week with inspirational quotes, statistical analysis and my valued opinion to help you take home the ship and call yourself the survivor.

Week 1 is always the toughest, especially with this season’s post lockout free-agent bonanza, so read closely and good luck:

Week 1 Games I Like:

Falcons over the Bears

I LOVE the Falcons in this game. Roddy White and Julio Jones have the potential to be one of the best WR tandems in the league and giving Matt Ryan more options is never a bad thing.  Michael Turner will break off big runs and open up the passing game as it turns into a rout. Jay Cutler is a ticking time bomb and I’ve never trusted him when push comes to shove. John Abraham will have a field day rushing him like the Giants did last year. Home underdogs tend to mean one thing; they are not meant to win.

Chiefs over the Bills

Buffalo had the worst rush defense in the NFL last season allowing 2,714 yards. Kansas City had the best rushing offense in the league last season with 2,627 yards. This is not a tough choice.  The additions of Marcell Dareus and Shawne Merriman will certainly improve the Bills defense but it’s not enough to slow the Jamaal Charles/Thomas Jones train.  If Thomas Jones is willing to fight his teammates during the preseason, I cant wait to see what he’ll do come opening day.

Browns over the Bengals

I am liking Colt McCoy and the Browns more and more and the Bengals less and less. Cincy has a rookie starting QB in Andy Dalton and not much of a supporting cast.  Cedric Benson is fresh out of jail and AJ Green will be expected to do too much.  Look for the Bengals to be a team to go against this year.

Patriots over the Dolphins

“Brady to Ocho Cinco.” “Brady to Welker.” “Brady to Branch.” “Brady to Gronkowski.” Get used to it.

Eagles over the Rams

The Rams are a team I like this year. Sam Bradford’s stock is rising and he will improve this team from last season but unfortunately they host the Eagles Week 1. Let’s let the Dream Team show us what they've got and take it to the Rams.

Texans over the Colts

No Peyton. No question. The Texan's, however, are a good team to save. They will get the Colts again as well as the Garrard-less Jaguars and the Titans twice. Think about it.

For those still wondering, Shorty found his fortune and glory along with the rest of the Goonies. Now let’s get ours.