An Obituary For The 2008 St. Louis Rams

Every year, we as football fans try to salvage what is left of our team's mediocre seasons. Today, I get the unlucky privilege of holding funeral services for my team. Do you have any idea how much this sucks?

The 2008 St. Louis Rams

Funeral services for the St. Louis Rams will be held December 29, 2008 at the Edward Jones Dome in St. Louis, Missouri. The Rams died after a long battle with colon cancer* that was diagnosed by several professionals in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania during their stay in September.

The Rams started with such promise when they brought Chris Long, son of Howie, into the world of professional football. But the Rams loss a lot of promise upon the start of the season as former coach Scott Linehan led his team into a downward spiral that they couldn't recover from. The Rams lost Isaac Bruce to the Gold Rush in San Francisco. Then had to suffer through some of the most embarrassing moments in their franchise's storied history.

But the Rams showed some life following a trip to the doctor's office. They got a portion of the cancer out with the departure of Linehan, were given Jim Haslett as an alternative medication, and came out fighting for their survival. For a moment it seemed to work for them, but then the cancer took over once again. Now their year is almost over, and they were given only a few weeks left to live. They managed to survive as long as they can until they succumbed to the illness in Atlanta, Georgia while visiting Matt Ryan.

The St. Louis Rams were preceded in death by their den mother Georgia Frontiere, who succumbed to breast cancer earlier this year. They are survived by the Cardinals, Blues, Missouri Tigers tens of thousands of fans from Los Angeles to St. Louis. The "Greatest Show on Turf" will be missed.

*in case you're wondering, the colon cancer that killed the Rams 2008 team was Scott Linehan. Rest in Peace, Rams, and just like the old saying goes: "Pride comes before a fall."