10 Things Zach Randolph Can Do to Channel His Bad Boy Nature During Lockout

Zach Randolph may need some help from the Memphis Grizzlies organization in finding positive things to do during the lockout.  Since the NBA may very well lose a whole season to the lockout, Randolph will have a great amount of time of his hands.

For Randolph, as much as anyone else, the saying is true that idle hands are the devil's playthings.

Thus, the Grizzlies need to help Randolph, their best player, find something constructive to do so that nothing bad happens.

Following are some modest suggestions.

10. Become a Kindergarten Teacher

Randolph might be well-served to take a job during the lockout that would tire him out, compelling him to tell his posse, The Hoop Family, "I had a rough day.  I can't do anything tonight."

Teaching kindergarten would be the perfect position to give Randolph that kind of feeling.  Also, having a couple dozens screaming kids would remind Randolph of the important things in life.

9. Enter Ballet

Often, it is said that basketball is like dancing.  Randolph would do well in an area similar to his sport that would provide ample self-expression.

Such self-expression as found in ballet could distract him from negative influences in life.

8. Produce and Star in a Male Version of the Black Swan

Since Randolph's life has been a male version of the Black Swan, he could make a movie that reflects a masculine interpretation of the character.  Randolph could star, presenting an even more moving portrayal than Natalie Portman did in Black Swan.

8. Become a Snake Charmer

Being a snake charmer is just as bold and daring as being a basketball player with a dark off-court life.  This could be a fantastic activity to focus his energy.  

Also, the snakes could scare off some of Randolph's unsavory friends.

7. Test Shark Suits

Even more daring than snake charming is testing shark suits.  

On the other hand, the Grizzlies might advise that he not test shark suits, because they might want him to return to the team in one piece after the lockout.

6. Wrestle Alligators

True bad boys do bad boy sporting outside of their sport. Thus, Randolph may be interested in wrestling alligators.

Once again, this behavior may be discouraged by Grizzlies management.

5. Join a SWAT Team

A fun lockout activity for Randolph would be to join a SWAT team.  Randolph could enjoy all of the high-adrenaline activity he could possibly crave.

One small risk exists in that one of his nefarious associates could strike back at him for busting up his house.

3. Become a CIA Agent

Randolph could join the CIA and go to distant countries, where he would be far from anyone who could negatively affect his life.  Of course, he would have to lock his house well so that his posse wouldn't be able to do any business there.  

The CIA might be looking for someone more likely to commit long-term, but why not give it a shot?

Randolph could imbibe the most exciting action in the world, tracking terrorists and connecting with foreign diplomats.

2. Become a Vigilante Terrorism Fighter

Since Randolph has an infinite amount of time on his hands, he could outfit his home so that it can house a Batcave-like lair to house vigilante terrorism-fighting equipment.  Randolph could co-opt some friends into turning in any automatic weapons to him so that he can save the world from Al Qaeda and other terrorist groups.

1. Play International Basketball

By far, the most positive and constructive activity for Randolph during the lockout would be to play basketball overseas.  Many teams in various leagues are most interested in players who would commit long-term, but perhaps he could find a Greek team that would accept him.

Even more, he could find a nice Greek host family that would give so much love that he would permanently forsake the shady side of his life.