College Football: Weekly Steamers

Every week, I’ll give you my take on the week’s biggest turds.

1. Michigan Wolverines: Rich Rod and his wonderful spread offense now owns the record for most losses in a season for our storied rivals. 129 seasons! Ironic…I see a 3-9 record in your very near future.

2. Notre Dame special teams: After scoring the first touchdown off of a blocked punt, you never cease to amaze as you allow not one, but TWO onside kicks in the last minute and a half of the game. I’ve actually never seen anything like it. But buck up…you will be exemplified for years to come when teams feel they have no chance in hell to come back two scores in the last minute…”but remember when Navy got two in a row!”

3. The referees in every USC game: No surprise here. Every week they’re always good for a few missed calls, drive-extending calls, and always a couple of game-changing non-calls.

4. Billy Gillespie and the UK basketball team: Good job preparing all off season there Billy. You left the Aggies high and dry only to coach better-talent to a worse record. Nothing like starting off the season right, just like last season…with a defensive epic FAIL! Oh Billy Billy Billy, Ashley and Adolph disapprove…

5. Troy State Trojans: You make me re-type this entry as I had LSU zingers ready to roll.  You go up 31-3 only to quit and allow a 29-point fourth.  Seriously. In your defense, the game wasn't televised here in the Republic, so I wasn't able to witness the usual Les Miles shadiness always present in Baton Rouge.

6. I think every single week the Bowl Championship Series will cap my list. As my five-month anticipation of the greatest tournament in all sports rises, I can only dream of the day when the big shots will chalk it up as a loss and move on. Playoffs are inevitable. How many more Debacle Years do we have to endure for you to realize it just doesn’t work?

Congrats to you all. Instead of success, you laid a giant growler in its place.