Top 50 Ridiculously Funny Athlete Photos
Sure we like to see our favorite athletes dominating in their respective sports, but sometimes it's just as satisfying to see them dressed in a blue robe holding a panda.
Seeing an athlete away from the competition doing something absolutely ridiculous is a nice reminder that these guys are actual humans.
Thanks to Twitter, Facebook, cell phones, alcohol and good old fashioned bad decision making, the Internet is a treasure trove of entertaining photos of professional athletes. These photos are ridiculous, hilarious, confusing or some combination of the three.
I've scoured the interwebs and gathered the top 50 ridiculously funny, or just plain ridiculous, photos for your amusement.
50. Tim Duncan, San Antonio Spurs
What we know: Swimming with a Beluga whale can make a 6 foot 11 professional basketball player look like a little kid on Christmas.
What we want to know: Why the world is unfair and professional athletes get to have all the fun. The rich just get richer, don't they?
What we’d rather not know: I think we might already know it all here.
49. Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic
What we know: Dwight Howard has got a couple of tickets to the gun show, and you're invited. Oh, and the gun show involves pinball and not just ordinary pinball, Skittles pinball (wtf)!
What we want to know: If that's his house, why is it decorated like an old-timey court house?
What we’d rather not know: That despite our best efforts, none of us will ever do anything awesome enough to warrant Skittles creating a personalized pinball machine for us.
48. Tim Lincecum, San Francisco Giants
What we know: Big Time Timmy Jim is as cool a guy as you’ll find in MLB. His obvious affection for Frank Sinatra is all the proof anyone should ever need.
What we want to know: How does Lincecum make a convincing Mitch Kramer and Frank Sinatra?
What we’d rather not know: Whether or not Lincecum is single, just let a girl dream.
47. Chris Bosh, Miami Heat
What we know: Chris Bosh is more likable when he's carrying a monkey than when he's carrying LeBron. Boom. I'm just kidding Heat fans, please don't freak out.
What we want to know: What kind of monkey that is and what's it staring at.
What we’d rather not know: If he bought that monkey. Please say he didn't buy that monkey.
46. Warren Sapp, Retired NFL Player
What we know: Slurpees are absolutely baller, and Warren Sapp knows it.
What we want to know: If anyone is lucky enough to witness NFL great Warren Sapp taking this ridiculous picture. Something like that would make my entire year.
What we’d rather not know: If that Slurpee is Mountain Dew flavored..blech. Stick to red or blue.
45. Mark Schlereth, Retired NFL Player
What we know: Mark Schlereth is one handsome hombre who is man enough to be seen with a teeny Italian Greyhound.
What we want to know: Why he doesn’t host NFL live with an Italian Greyhound in his shirt. Anything that takes focus away from the ghoulish Tim Hasselbeck is a good thing.
What we’d rather not know: How many other dogs he has shoved down his shirt.
44. SHAQ, Retired NBA Player/Living Legend
What we know: Shaq is a giant. He makes Sober Valley Lodge look like a little kid and the extra inch of height added by his flattop doesn’t help in the slightest.
What we want to know: Who did Crazytown Tiger Blood 'gank that Cy Young award from? Did MLB have a down year and just award it to Ricky Vaughn? WINNING.
What we’d rather not know: Why that guy in the background looks panicked.
43. Chad Ochocinco, New England Patriots
What we know: Ocho is clearly overcompensating for something.
What we want to know: Will Ocho be bringing his pet tiger with him when he moves in with a Patriots fan? “I gotta game today, you can take care of my giant tiger, right?”
What we’d rather not know: That the tiger is probably dead by now.
42. Brian Wilson, San Francisco Giants
What we know: He’s comfortable with his body. He likes to do lunges, and he really likes attention.
What we want to know: Why he thought he needed a spandex tuxedo and a cane; they are both statement pieces. Sometimes more is just..more.
What we’d rather not know: Whether or not Wilson is going commando.
41. Stevie Johnson, Buffalo Bills
What we know: Nobody looks cool in a jean jacket except Jon Bon Jovi. Oh, and Stevie Johnson is an ass man, but who isn’t these days? We certainly didn’t need a cake to tell us that. Kim Kardashian’s horrifying path to global domination says it all.
What we want to know: What is written on the side of that butt cake and does Stevie’s lady friend have that tattooed on her butt?
What we’d rather not know: That Kim Kardashian is worth $35 million clams. Hope you’re proud of yourselves.
40. Jeremy Roenick, Retired NHL Player
What we know: Jeremy Roenick is an above average center with a bad sense of style who never won a Stanley Cup and lags behind countless defenseman on the NHL’s all-time scoring list.
What we want to know: What kind of store sells a shirt like that? I'd like to avoid it.
What we’d rather not know: If he ate that entire cake himself..
39. Jose Constanza, Atlanta Braves
What we know: Jose Costanza is not a germaphobe.
What we want to know: Why?
What we’d rather not know: If he licks everything he picks up.
38. Alexander Ovechkin and Alexander Semin, Washington Capitals
What we know: Fashion in Eastern Europe is no less than two decades behind. Seriously, those are Members Only jackets.
What we want to know: Why Alexander Semin is wearing a tank top (with red pants) in a place where people are wearing coats.
What we’d rather not know: What the hell is nailed to the walls in that joint.
37. Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls
What we know: Derrick Rose loves Skittles so much that they sent him a complimentary custom Skittles machine.
What we want to know: If his stomach ulcers are the direct result of eating his body weight in sugar each month.
36. Tiger Woods, Famous Golfer
What we know: This cover would have been pretty strange either way, but Tiger made a lot of really bad decisions around the time this issue of Vanity Fair came out. Like… really really bad decisions...and this just exacerbated the situation.
Unsolicited Advice: If you don’t want to court controversy, stay away from Annie Leibovitz.
What we want to know: What kind of clown does Tiger have managing him? Does Terrell Owens have a side job in Public Relations?
What we’d rather not know: Any of this! Dammit Tiger, remember when you were good at golf? Let’s get back there because Rory McIlroy is a stone cold douche, and golf sucks without you.
35. Mark Sanchez, New York Jets
What we know: Love him or hate him (odds are you hate him), The Sanchize is a beautiful man.
What we want to know: When he starting moonlighting as a lifeguard.
What we’d rather not know: The Hasselhoff-loving dumbass behind this whole thing who thinks a Baywatch themed photo shoot is a good idea for a man. Musta been a Patriots fan.
34. SHAQ, Retired NBA Player/Living Legend
What we know: Shaq thinks gigantism and nudity are hilarious. Oh, and the scale of this picture would be similar to me standing next to Shaq in the same pose.
What we want to know: Did he go to the Hirshhorn Museum specifically to see the naked man or is Shaq a complex character with a passion for modern art and the naked man was just a bonus.
What we’d rather not know: Nothing. In a perfect world, we’d know absolutely everything about this photo.
33. LeBron James, Miami Heat
What we know: Everyone except Carmelo Anthony looks freaking adorable holding a panda.
What we want to know: Where has this LeBron been hiding? This is the first positive feeling I’ve had about King James since THE DECISION!
What we’d rather not know: That China has our collective national balls in a vice thanks to the popularity of pandas.
32. Maxime Talbot, Philadelphia Flyers
What we know: A newsboy cap makes you look like a complete toolbag.
What we want to know: Why is Maxime Talbot such a toolbag?
What we’d rather not know: If he gave something to Flower (that poor penguin, not the goalie).
31. James Harrison, Pittsburgh Steelers
What we know: James Harrison is capable of killing you, and he makes bad decisions. If you’re going to call the NFL commissioner “the devil,” maybe go with a slightly less suggestive cover.
Or vice-versa, if you're going to do the cover shirtless with a couple of guns, maybe tone down the language in the interview a bit.
What we want to know: Is he merely capable of killing you, or is he actively planning something?
What we’d rather not know: Who those guns belong to.
29. Carmelo Anthony, New York Knicks
What we know: Sorry Melo, there is absolutely no way to look hard while holding a panda bear. Nice try though.
What we want to know: Why is he even trying to look hard while holding a panda??
What we’d rather not know: I’d rather not even know that Carmelo Anthony gets to go to China and hold pandas to begin with.
28. Jay Cutler, Chicago Bears
What we know: Jay Cutler does not look anything like this in real life.
What we want to know: Why doesn't Jay Cutler look anything like this in real life?
What we’d rather not know: If the eyeliner was his idea.
27. Kyle Orton, Denver Broncos
What we know: Kyle Orton is definitely more fun to party with than Tim Tebow. Actually Brady Quinn is definitely more fun to party with than Tim Tebow too. That’s gotta sting; sorry Mile-High Messiah. :(
What we want to know: Is it a coincidence that his shirt says whiske,y and he’s hauling around a bottle of JD?
What we’d rather not know: Where he’s going with a full bottle of JD and two cups.
26. Warren Sapp, Retired NFL Player
What we know: Despite fame and fortune, Sapp is just like us, drinking Miller Lite in a koozy.
What we want to know: Was that picture taken on the Fourth of July, or does Warren put American Flags in all of his beer koozies?
What we’d rather not know: What his floatation device is attached to, a little mystery is a good thing.
25. Mario Lemieux, Pittsburgh Penguins Owner/Living Legend
What we know: Penguins with penguins will never get old.
What we want to know: Why those penguins don’t match. You can’t just put cheetahs and lions in the same enclosure, right?
What we’d rather not know: What kind of funny business is going on at the Pittsburgh Zoo and Aquarium?
24.Evgeni Malkin, Pittsburgh Penguins & Alexander Ovechkin, Washington Capitals
What we know: This is a superstar sandwich with nerdball filling.
What we want to know: Who the H is on Geno’s T-shirt, and why the crap are Geno and Ovi hanging out? I thought this was a rivalry folks!
Do you think Tom Brady and Peyton Manning get together for beers? What about Philip Rivers and Jay Cutler?? Or how about James Harrison and Ray Lewis???
What we’d rather not know: The kind of carnage carnival would occur if Harrison and Lewis were forced to socialize.
23. Meta World Peace, Los Angeles Lakers
What we know: Meta World Peace loves ice cream sundaes.
What we want to know: Why he needs two spoons? Sure there’s two sundaes, but there’s only one Ron Artest. Right?
What we’d rather not know: If there is more than on Ron Artest. The world isn’t ready for that.
Amar'e Stoudemire, New York Knicks
What we know: Amar'e Stoudemire likes fishing apparently.
What we want to know: Why is the person holding the fish the same person taking the picture? Amar'e is just hamming it up for the camera, surely he could hold the fish.
What we’d rather not know: Why he’s wearing that cowboy hat. Is he channeling Karl Malone?
22. Daniel Negreanu, Professional Poker Player
What we know: Daniel Negreanu (right) played an entire round of the Heads Up Poker Championship on NBC versus Scotty Nguyen dressed as.. Scotty Nguyen (left).
What we want to know: How drunk he must have been to come up with this idea.
What we’d rather not know: If he was sober when he hatched this plan. That'd be too much information.
21. Larry Fitzgerald, Arizona Cardinals
What we know: Morton’s Steakhouse has good taste in celebrity endorsers. Everybody loves Larry Fitzgerald.
What we want to know: Why is Fitz holding a frozen steak? Wouldn’t a thawed (or cooked!) steak be a better advertisement?
What we’d rather not know: The kind of person who finds frozen steaks appealing.
20. Curt Schilling, Retired MLB Player
What we know: Curt Schilling, age 44, got the logo of his video game company tattooed on his shoulder and put it on the Internet.
What we want to know: Why does Curt Schilling, age 44, have a video game company, why did he get a tattoo of the logo on his shoulder and why did he put it on the Internet.
What we’d rather not know: That Curt Schilling, age 44, has a video game company, a tattoo and access to the Internet.
19. Clinton Portis, Maybe Retired NFL Player
What we know: Clinton Portis has always put on a better show off the field than on.
What we want to know: WTF is he doing here? What’s with the visor, the pipe, the coffee maker, the pink canister and the mask? Most importantly, why the crap is he on NFL Total Access with all this crap?
What we’d rather not know: What “Off the Grid is Off the Chain” means, the ambiguity intrigues me.
18. Steve Nash, Phoenix Suns
What we know: Steve Nash cannot pull off a full length fur coat. Leave that business to Broadway Joe.
What we want to know: What the coach passengers are thinking about the first class douche in first class wearing a full length fur coat.
What we’d rather not know: Who the rightful owner of that coat is, especially if it lives in Nashty’s closet.
17. Chris Johnson, Tennessee Titans
What we know: We know that’s Chris Johnson, but that’s about it.
What we want to know: If that glass is filled with chardonnay.
What we’d rather not know: The story behind the tank top; it’s probably boring or scary. I’m leaning toward boring. Those ghosts from Super Mario suck though.
16. Alex Rodriguez, New York Yankees
What we know: A-Rod loves him some him. Someone’s gotta, right?
What we want to know: If A-Rod doesn’t know he always comes across as the biggest tool in any room or if he totally knows and just doesn’t give a crap.
What we’d rather not know: If this went further than kissing. I bet it did.
15. Sean Avery, New York Rangers
What we know: Sean Avery is a volatile lunatic who cares a lot more about matching his shoes to his three-piece shorts-suit than improving his game. Even the biggest Rangers’ fans know the game has passed him by.
What we want to know: Why is Avery even pretending to be a hockey player anymore?
What we’d rather not know: Anything that Avery does off the ice unless it’s getting arrested for hitting a cop.
14. Chris Kaman, L.A. Clippers
What we know: Not a lot.
What we want to know: What’s. With. The water buffalo.
What we’d rather not know: The deets on hunting things.
13. Carmelo Anthony, New York Knicks
What we know: Carmelo rocks nerd-chic harder than almost anyone in sports, and he looks adorably thrilled to be petting a camel.
What we want to know: Are those glasses for function or fashion? Well maybe we don’t want to know that, but I do. Phony baloney glasses are a pet peeve of mine.
What we’d rather not know: What that camel is doing in a warehouse.
12. Pete Rose, Disgrace to Major League Baseball
What we know: Foul balls isn’t just a baseball term anymore.
What we want to know: Why god… WHY!?!
What we’d rather not know: Everything... anything.. Every time Pete Rose speaks up or strips down, we’re collectively worse off.
11. Casey Hampton, Pittsburgh Steelers
What we know: That Casey Hampton’s nickname “The Big Snack” is well deserved.
What we want to know: Who is rubbing his belly?
What we’d rather not know: Who is rubbing is belly…
10. Alexander Ovechkin, Washington Capitals
What we know: Ovi is a much friendlier character off the ice than he is on.
What we want to know: Why is there a sheep in what seems to be an apartment building and what is Ovi feeding it.
What we’d rather not know: If this is in Washington D.C. As if people aren’t worried enough about the nation!
9. Darnell Docket, Arizona Cardinals
What we know: Darnell Docket has an alligator.
What we want to know: Why the H does Darnell Docket have and alligator?
What we’d rather not know: That the alligator is probably dead by now.
8. Evgeni Malkin, Pittsburgh Penguins
What we know: There’s no chance this photo was taken in the United States.
What we want to know: Does Evgeni Malkin want it to look like he’s humping that lion, or is it a happy accident?
What we’d rather not know: Male lions aren’t known to be docile creatures, so the reason for this one is lying on the ground like a ragdoll is anybody’s guess.
7. Warren Sapp, Retired NFL Player
What we know: Warren Sapp is like a fine wine who only gets better with age.
What we want to know: What he missed and where he got that shirt!
What we’d rather not know: Who took the picture. It’s probably not someone weird, but I really just don’t want to know for some reason.
6. Sir Charles Barkley, Retired NBA Player/Living Legend
What we know: Sir Charles is a fine, fine man. He’s controversial, he’s hilarious and he’s not afraid to pair a fedora with a pair of sweatpants. "Hello. Is it me you're looking for?"
What we want to know: What is this all about?
What we’d rather not know: If that's his room.. it can't be, right?
5. Chad Ochocinco, New England Patriots
What we know: Ochocinco would light himself on fire if he thought it’d get him enough press.
What we want to know: The lights are on, but is anyone home?
What we’d rather not know: If he wears those chaps in other situations. Ew.
4. Ndamukong Suh, Detroit Lions
What we know: Ndamukong Suh is the most adorable skull crusher in the NFL. Sorry James Harrison.
What we want to know: What hilarious and/or shocking event occurred between picture one and picture two.
What we’d rather not know: If he sacked that sea lion and slammed it on its head when the camera was off. Welcome to the zoo sea lion BOOM!
3. Derek Freaking Jeter, New York Yankees
What we know: Derek Jeter has so many ladies lined up at his door that this kind of scene is so boring that he falls asleep.
What we want to know: OMG all the details about his split with Minka Kelly!
What we’d rather not know: That DJ probably had about 450 other chicks right outside the frame.
2. SHAQ, Retired NBA Player/Living Legend
What we know: Shaq is hilarious.
What we want to know: Why he’s pointing at the panda as if nobody is going to notice he’s got a panda sitting on his lap.
What we’d rather not know: What Shaq said to shock that panda.
1. Tom Brady, New England Patriots
What we know: Tom Brady has three great loves: football, family and getting his picture taken. Four if you count Bill Belichick.
What we want to know: What is with the goats dude? We know you’re not working as a farmhand during the offseason. Was there any point when he was like, isn’t this a little weird guys?
What we’d rather not know: How much No. 12 was paid to get his picture taken while holding that freaking goat. I suspect it's somewhere between, "Jeez that's a little much" and "That makes me so sick I'm going to put a gun in my mouth."
The End? Not Even Close.
After countless hours cyberstalking, I ended up with so many extra pictures that I'm already working on a follow up!
Obviously I can't stalk everyone on Twitter or Facebook because there are only so many hours in a day. Have you seen any ridiculous photos that I missed?
Please feel free to email them to me at AmberLeeBR@gmail.com or send them to me via Twitter @blamberr.
Of course I will credit you for the discoveries because I am not a douche.
You can also send suggestions for the text portion but nothing vulgar! I know it's hard sometimes.