I've Got My Christmas List Ready

Christmas lists are always tricky. What to ask for? I tend to ask for nothing but a smile and a “Merry Christmas” from friends and family. I’ve never been one to need anything material. Love and respect are my favorite gifts. Top them off with a sincere “how’s your day?” and it’ll be a good day.

But there are a few things I have been inkling for during the past few years and I just want to let them out and give everyone a while to get them ready for me.

I want to watch an athlete who makes a big play to not point at the sky, kiss his Cross or make any kind of religious motion. I believe religion should be private, call me old fashioned if you must. But I hope that your God was busy with war, disease and famine and not helping you sack a quarterback in a preseason game.

I want to have a baseball brawl in early May between two .500 teams. Then later that year have one win the pennant and point to that brawl as the solidifying moment of the season. I also want a pitcher to be ejected for fighting dirty.

I want Oregon State basketball to win 20 games three years in a row again. I also want to see all of those players stay all four years and graduate with a degree in something other than speech communication and basket weaving. I know that’s asking for a lot from coach Craig Robinson but I bet I’m not alone—and I bet he can do it.

I want to call play-by-play for a college baseball game from a college baseball stadium. Trust me, it’s a lot to ask for.

I want LaVonda Wagner to teach me how to intimidate the opposition without saying a word. She can walk into a room, command attention and incite panic. She is a very pleasant woman but I couldn’t name one person on campus that would want to meet her in an alley.

I want Goss Stadium to stay the same as it is, right now, regardless of how many championships the Beavers win, or fans they have at games. It’s the perfect size for Corvallis.

I want there to be equal attention in the media for male and female athletes, everywhere, regardless of sport. Glorifying a guy for hitting a grand slam is easy. But when a female athlete from Oregon State that makes it to the Olympics, that story writes itself.

I want the college baseball season to be shorter. Giving ball players degrees from accredited universities is ludicrous with the amount of time they spend in a class room from January to June. Giving each team a 40-game season cap won’t hurt anyone—except the athletic departments.

I want to same rule to apply to softball.

I want CBS to cover the NCAA March Madness Tournament without cutting to commercial every timeout. And if not, do away with commentators. It’s useless to have commentators if there is no commentary.

I want everyone to read an old book about sports. Something from the 30s and 40s. It would give everyone a bit of perspective.

Good luck fulfilling my wish list. You have about seven weeks to get the wheels in motion.