WWE 2011: The Year of the Promo

Hello, Bleachers! Jo-Jo, your newest writer here, and I am immensely pleased to be part of the exclusive Bleacher Report team!

Seeing as I am new, the first question that came up when I got the job was simple—what will be my first article? Naturally, it was a no-brainer: why, the article that got me this gig in the first place! So, I will be rewriting my application article, only with more content and the added luxury of being able to upload pictures and videos and what not.

Now, let's get down to business.

As members of the IWC, we all know that stories in the WWE are told in both the ring and through segments known as promos. Both mediums are equally important in creating interesting, engaging angles that keep the fans waiting to see what will happen next. As a professional wrestler, the ability to work good matches consistently is appreciated massively by fans (I would insert a John Cena joke here, but no, thanks). But wrestlers who can both wrestle an entertaining match and cut firebrand promos are adored, especially by the IWC.

Seeing as a lot of Superstars have been given the chance to show off their promo chops this year, I have decided to single out eight who have, in my humble opinion, wowed us with their abilities to tell a good story with a mic in hand. The operative phrase in that last sentence is 'in my humble opinion', so if you have any additional Superstars you feel deserved to be on this list more than my picks, the comments section is all yours.

Enjoy!

The Aristocrat: Alberto Del Rio

"Tonight, I'm not gonna tell you it is my destiny to win the Royal Rumble. Tonight, I'm going to prove it." 

 - Del Rio; January 28, 2011 

OK, OK, don't get your knickers all up in a twist - hear me out on this one. 

Granted, Alberto Del Rio's continued insistence of a world title reign being his destiny has gotten stale as of late. So stale in fact that last Monday on Raw, CM Punk, before hitting the Go 2 Sleep on Del Rio, mockingly bawled, "Destiny!" However, I will blame the WWE creative team earlier than Del Rio himself for this unrelenting talk about "destiny."

That being said, I want to point out that Del Rio is very comfortable on the microphone; so comfortable in fact that he managed to draw a good deal of heat in his first month of being present on the WWE roster. That is pretty freaking fast if you ask me.

Now, I am no Del Rio mark. I've tried to jump on the Del Rio bandwagon, but something's just not doing it for me. However, he is practically dripping with potential, and the only thing that has kept him from a world title reign is a series of unfortunate circumstances, most notably Adam Copeland's retirement. 

The only thing we can hope for is that Del Rio's "dinero en el banco" cash-in, whenever it will be, will end successfully, and he will move on to new material.

The Underdog: Christian

“Let’s be honest, Randy, if your daughter takes after her old man, if she takes after you, she won’t be going to college on an academic scholarship, that’s for sure.”

 - Christian decimates Orton; July 15, 2011

Ah, Christian. The man whose dedication to the business won him hundreds and hundreds of peeps within the IWC (myself included), most of whom were furious when a title he worked so hard and so long for was basically handed to Randy Orton.

Thankfully, Christian is once again the World Heavyweight Champion, and here's to hoping that he wins again at SummerSlam, solidifying his place as SmackDown's number-one heel and a main eventer. 

Anyway, Christian's run as a heel has been successful in no small measure due to his incredible microphone skills. It took me a while to get used to heel Christian, seeing as I was a big-time peep used to the smiling, devoted Christian. But as R-Truth will say, smiling never got him "diddly-squat." Soon, Christian won me over with the constant title shots he delivered to Randy's head shortly after his heel turn. Take that, Randall Keith Orton!

Christian is constantly impressive in both the squared ring and on the microphone, and although the promo in the embedded video above seems a little forced, the quote I posted on top of this page from that same promo did make me curl up into a ball, laughing my butt off. So there it is—Christian, a hard worker and pure gold on the mic. 

The Psycho: Cody Rhodes

“Zeke, it pains me how your ignorance is turning the Intercontinental Championship into a...a memento of mediocrity.”

- Cody Rhodes makes a valid point to Ezekiel Jackson; August 5, 2011 

Please God, let Cody win the Intercontinental Championship soon! Please! Ezekiel Jackson's reign has been nothing but pure mental torture!

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, let's address Cody Rhodes, shall we? Mr. Rhodes, once dashing, the desire of women and the envy of men. But now, after a legitimate injury due to a vicious 619 from Rey Mysterio, Cody underwent facial reconstructive surgery and a serious gimmick makeover.

Now returning and sporting a Rip Hamilton-esque mask and a serious case of body dysmorphia, Rhodes returned as the Undashing One and his promo abilities truly began to shine. The 'Undashing' character is psychologically disturbed, and Rhodes' slick monotone and usually very linguistic delivery has made him stand out as one of the more engaging characters on SmackDown. Now he has taken it upon himself to resurrect Ted DiBiase Jr.'s career and seems set to free us from the evil that has been Jackson's Intercontinental Championship reign.  

Ladies, gentlemen, set your eyes on the future of the WWE—Cody Rhodes.    

The Dictator: Wade Barrett

"John, until next week...you can't see me."

 - Wade Barrett mocking John Cena; October 11, 2010

Why do I like Wade Barrett? Well, first of all, he's British. That is reason enough, honestly.

Anyway, since his 'Winds of Change' promo during the first (and arguably, the best) season of NXT, this man has had the IWC's sights locked on him. Unfortunately, like most favorites of the IWC, the creative team seemed too interested about pandering to young kids, ultimately booking Wade Barrett and both his factions in the most vile ways possible. 

Now Barrett is locked in a feud with Daniel Bryan, which I see somehow ending in a match for Bryan's Money in the Bank contract. If Barrett wins that, I believe many members of the IWC will not take it lightly. I, on the other hand, will be marking out somewhere.

As for Barrett's promo skills, he is one of those rare heels who doesn't need to insult the city he's in, or the people there, or their sports team, or junk like that. He is that good a heel. This man is destined for great things and with the proper guidance can be a main eventer, even a future Hall of Famer in the long run. Barrett does not deserve to wallow in mid-card hell, and hopefully, he wouldn't have to for much longer.

By the way, for Barrett's promo in the above embedded video, jump to the 3:10 mark. Just to see him say "You can't see me."

The Creeper: R-Truth

"Zack Ryder got a T-shirt?!"

 - R-Truth as he trashes a merchandise stand; May 30, 2011 

Is there anything sweeter in the WWE than a character change? Well, yes—a character change done to perfection.

R-Truth was your average mid-card babyface, rapping and dancing to the ring week after week, to the joy of casual fans, the irritation of a good deal of the IWC and the disgust of Michael Cole. Then suddenly he was put in a Triple-Threat Match against the Miz & John Cena at Extreme Rules 2011 for the WWE Championship.

To say I was confused is a serious, serious understatement. I was flabbergasted. Shell-shocked. Completely lost. As was most of the IWC. Then John Morrison snatched the spot from him, and that seemed to make more sense. But then R-Truth turned heel. And the rest, as we say, is history.

R-Truth has risen in recent months to finally have a championship match and go on a war with those who are supposedly conspiring to keep him from advancing in the WWE including, of course, the Little Jimmies, a term now used to describe John Cena marks. R-Truth's character is one of the best things about Raw presently, and I always love someone who can make me laugh on a frequent basis. His promo skills have shone drastically during his heel run, even going head-to-head with Christian, The Miz and Triple-H. R-Truth has finally found a character he is comfortable with, and that is the wish of any professional wrestler.

The Superhero: John Cena

"Yes Vince, I'll get you some more coffee. Yes Vince, your suit looks great. Yes Vince, you're built like a Greek god."

- John Cena imitating John Laurinaitis; August 1, 2011 

Now, I don't like John Cena's in-ring character. Not in the slightest. I believe if the character was half as interesting as other top-tier guys before him, like Stone Cold and Dwayne, then I would actually care what he has to say. But he's not, so I have to endure Cena week after week. Welcome to the pay-per-view, WWE Same Old Crap.

However, I am in no way naive, and I can fully admit that Cena's character depends heavily on his promos to get over, and he delivers week after week in this aspect. And besides, his impersonation of Laurinaitis two week ago was enough to make me like him for about two seconds.

Anyway, the amount of fans he has, which we all know consist of women, kids and teenagers who still wet their beds, is proof to the fact that Cena can easily garner a reaction. That alone is a direct testament to his promo skills. Even the immense negative reaction he gets from the "real men" (thank you, thank you very much) stands as proof to the power of a John Cena promo.

The Awesome One: The Miz

"I was the main event of WrestleMania 27! I retained the WWE Championship in the main event! While everyone was booing me!"

- The Miz in a WWE.com Exclusive; August 11, 2011

The Miz is, without a doubt, one of my favorite WWE Superstars on contract, if not my favorite. I love this guy. This guy oozes charisma. His in-ring work gets better with each passing match, as he has put up great bouts this year with John Morrison (both men seem to have a lot of chemistry) and John Cena. And he is one of the best mic workers in the ring today, cutting some really amusing and sometimes very deep promos. I mean, The Miz's speaking abilities are obvious as the WWE regularly goes to him for PR work, something he and Michael Cole continuously allude to.

Lately, we've been getting shades of a more furious Miz who, in his words, is tired of being second-guessed. From attacking Rey Mysterio brutally last Monday to nailing Skull Crushing Finales on different victims over the past couple of weeks, The Miz is not happy, and he is making it clear. The embedded video goes to show just how furious this man is, as he rants about not being on the SummerSlam card.

Where this will lead, we do not know. But as a Mizfit, I can only hope it means something big for the Calgary Kid who, in all honesty, has being lacking in momentum since Cena and Alex Riley have practically buried him over the past couple of months (the "I Quit" match at Over the Limit was an insult to the fans' intelligence and a testament to why people detest "Super Cena").

The Wrestling God: CM Punk

"I don't hate you, John...I hate this idea that you're the best. 'Cos you're not. I'm the best. I'm the best in the world."

- CM Punk in his ground-shaking promo; June 27, 2011

Yeah, you all saw this coming at you in the fog from a million miles away. 

Apparently, there was a point in CM Punk's career where he was going to be released. But due to Shawn Michaels seeing so much untapped talent in him, HBK put in a good word, leading to his push in ECW. For this we say, "Thank you, Shawn."

All his career, CM Punk has been gold on the mic. Whether it was ragging on Jeff Hardy to scaring the hell out of little Aaliyah Mysterio, Punk has never cut a bad promo. But over the past year, the unappreciative WWE systematically buried Punk, even taking him on a PPV losing streak. 

And then came Raw Roulette almost two months ago, and CM Punk was born anew. Now Punk is arguably the most popular wrestler in the world, making appearances on Jimmy Kimmel and even doing weather on Fox News. Fans who have been disillusioned with the current WWE product are fully behind Punk, myself included, effectively turning him from a heel, as the WWE probably intended, to a tweener. Some of us fans even like to call ourselves 'The Cult' in homage to Punk's present theme song. And it rests on not only Punk's incredible in-ring prowess, but his complete dominance over the mic.

Right now, CM Punk is keeping numerous fans glued to their TVs, waiting to hear what he'll say next. And if everything goes right at SummerSlam, he'll continue to be dominant for a long time. Why? Because he is the best in the world. Like Phil Brooks will say, "I'm CM Punk, and you're not."

Conclusion

So there it is—a brief look at the best talkers in the WWE today. I hope you enjoyed the list, and I hope to be posting articles on a regular basis. Once again, the comment section is open to anyone and everyone, whether you agree with me or have opposing views.

Until next time, I am Jo-Jo, and I'm not that damn good.