Cricket Quotes: What They Said, Really Meant and Definitely Did Not

Mahendra Singh Dhoni

What he said:

“If he nicks and doesn’t walk it may be different, but apart from that he’s quite good.”

Mahendra Singh Dhoni feels that Virender Sehwag’s hearing problems may return if he nicks a ball to the ‘keeper, but for now, he’s more than fine.

What he really meant:

“Sehwag’s hearing will be as non-existent as the use of snickometer (in this series) should he nick an edge.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I want Sehwag to sprint to the pavilion if he nicks one.”

Graeme Swann Does Not Want to Collect Bins or Lay Bricks

What he said:

“We could be collecting bins or laying bricks on a cold morning in England.”

Graeme Swann believes young cricketers are too soft and do not appreciate the benefits and perks of earning their living from playing the game.

What he really meant:

“Most cricketers would hate an alternative career—given a choice. How lucky are we?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Cricket is a game played on cold English winter mornings.”

Graeme Swann Is Unforgiving of Fielding Lapses, Momentarily

What he said:

“I want to do them and their family ill. I want to hunt them down and do them harm. That feeling doesn’t last long.”

Graeme Swann feels murderous when any of his teammates misfield off his bowling.

What he really meant:

“I’m a skinflint when it comes to leaking runs off my bowling, and I expect my teammates to feel the same way, too.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“I was on the backup team to hunt down Osama Bin Laden.”

Graeme Swann Does Not Have to Take Piss If Skipper

What he said:

“I don’t think I could still be the light-hearted, piss-taking guy if I was in a position of authority.”

Graeme Swann prefers not being in a position of responsibility. He did not apply for the job of England skipper because he’d rather have fun on and off the field.

What he really meant:

“You know when you’re skipper, you have to be this diplomatic guy, careful not to hurt anyone’s feelings. Well, that’s not me.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Being skipper is a bed of roses. You don’t have to take piss.”

Monkey Business in the BCCI's Banana Republic

What he said:

“The BCCI is a banana republic, it answers to no regulatory body.”

Santosh Desai, a social commentator, is under no illusions about how the BCCI conducts business. He was commenting on the conflict of interest inherent in Sunil Gavaskar and Ravi Shastri contracted to the  BCCI while offering their opinions for Sky Television.

What he really meant:

“The BCCI is a banana republic; working with it is akin to trying to retain one’s balance while treading a banana skin.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Sunil Gavaskar and Ravi Shastri endorse plantains for the BCCI.”

Poonam Pandey Will Show off Her Legs at the Slut Walk

What she said:

“God gave women legs, so we show them off.”

Poonam Pandey, who made the headlines promising to strip if Team Indian won the ICC ODI World Cup, is not shy of making further provocative comments. She is to be one of the stars leading a Slutwalk in Mumbai—come September.

What she really meant:

“Legs are not just meant for walking, you know.”

What she definitely didn’t:

“How would you like them, waxed or in all their hairy splendour?”

Ravi Bopara Is All Charged Up

What he said:

“Yeah, it’s dead right now in my car.”

Ravi Bopara has his life organized with an iPad—only it’s not charged. Bopara takes Jonathan Trott’s place in the third nPower Test at Edgbaston, Birmingham.

What he really meant:

“That I’m a mere cricketer does not mean I’m not tech savvy. Sure, it’s charged.”

What he definitely didn’t:

“My car batteries are dead, too.”

Dhoni and His Knaves Collapsing Like a Pack of Cards?

What he said:

"Look at them, some day one of them will just collapse."

Mahendra Singh Dhoni is not enamoured about the amount of cricket his team has played in recent times.

What he really meant:

“My players are tired and jaded. Isn’t that evident?”

What he definitely didn’t:

“Team India are pushovers—literally.”