WWE RAW Preview: A Birthday Party With A BANG!

Everyone deserves a birthday party that leaves them smiling and dreaming of another round. Tonight, the WWE's Flagship Program gets that chance as RAW celebrates its 800th episode! It's so huge that I hear that Bart Simpson, Anthony Edwards, Courtney Cox, and Jerry Seinfeld are expected to be in attendance.

So the day before we decide our next leader of the Free World, we get to see reunions and insanity at its finest. Here's the preview of tonight's monumental RAW.

Rage In A Cage For The Gold

Chris Jericho wasted no time in invoking his rematch clause. Since he's going around blaming everyone for his loss to Batista at Cyber Sunday, he feels that he got screwed. But Mike Adamle decided that since it was JBL and Randy Orton that almost screwed both The Animal and The Rattlesnake, this war should be settled inside the confines of a Steel Cage.

So tonight, it will be Jericho and Batista for the World Heavyweight Championship. Will Jericho's reign resume after tonight? Will The Animal continue to be unleashed all the way to Survivor Series? Who will pop in to become an X-Factor in the outcome of this Championship Match?

Santino Gets Honked and The Kings of Punk Celebrate

Santino has been determined to prove that he deserves to be called the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. He's determined so much that he has made it his mission to remain champion for 63 weeks, which would be a new record. But he's got bigger problems than remaining champion.

As seen last week, Honky Tonk Man, Rowdy Roddy Piper and Goldust all made appearances to send a message to the host of The Casa: We're not done yet. What tricks will the three veterans have in store for Santino? What outfit will Charlie Haas show off for the 800th episode? And will Santino make it to that 63rd week?

Speaking of champions, The Kings of Punk (Kofi and CM Punk) won the World Tag Team Championships from Team Priceless last week. It won't take long before the two spurned second gen superstars want their rematch. But with Survivor Series fastly approaching, which team will get the advantage heading into Boston? And will The Kings of Punk be looking to recruit some Chain Gang assistance before they make it to Beantown?

Two Words, Two Sets: Be Jealous and S*CK IT!

After putting their internet war with Cryme Tyme on the backburner, The Dirt Sheet has now decided that they're better than The King of Kings and The Heartbreak Kid. Thanks to that trash talking, they now have a date with immortality...and it's not even close to Wrestlemania!

Tonight, for the first time ever, John Morrison and The Miz, aka The Dirt Sheet, will lock it up with Shawn Michaels and WWE Champion Triple H, auspiciously known as Degeneration X. This isn't just about which team is better. This is also about the possibility that the two young entrants into the Jerkoff Hall of Fame will get clowned and dropped by the two savvy ring veterans who hold 16 World Championships between the two.

Will The Dirt Sheet bring a victory back to the Palace of Wisdom? Will D-Generation X prove that they are that damn good? And will we see the return of the DX Cheerleaders?

Kill The Legend or Sack The Boss

Last week, Randy Orton had finally had his fill of Mike Adamle's reign as GM of RAW. He went on to berate the GM both professionally and personally. After bringing Adamle's wife and kids into the fray, Adamle decided to show his disapproval...by slapping the taste out of Orton's mouth. Now the line in the sand has been drawn by RKO.

Tonight, Randy Orton will be there to find out if Shane and Stephanie McMahon will appear and make the right decision. Orton has called them out and has demanded that either Adamle gets canned or he walks away.

Who will the McMahon siblings side with? Will Adamle get one last thrill before he possibly gets his walking papers? And here's another taste for thought: Will Big Daddy V (Not the guy who needs a bra) return to put his two cents worth in on the situation?

All this and much more is expected tonight on the 800th Edition of WWE RAW. WWE, it's time to blow out the candles.