NFL Week Nine: My Three Wishes

I thought I'd write this week's Three Wishes while the games were in play—partly because I thought it would be an interesting exercise and partly because I ran out of time to write a second column this week.

1. No More Waving Flags

I've been meaning to mention this for a couple of weeks now. Can we drop the Stars and Stripes from the back of the players' helmets? Please? It serves no useful purpose.

Even the non-American players such as Lawrence Tynes wear it, so it doesn't identify the particular player's nationality. It doesn't add anything to the game, because you know you are looking at an American sport. And, as it is too small to be seen anywhere other than on television, it doesn't even count as an attempt at patriotism.

Moreover, where the sticker has moved, it looks unsightly. I'm all in favour of the 'GU 63' sticker, or the Sean Taylor one from last season, but this is just annoying.

2. Dress the Goose

Never again do I want to see Tony Siragusa in black tee shirt, shades, and a radio mic. It makes a great player look like a nightclub bouncer. The man deserves more respect.

3. Stop Confusing Me

If the 2008 NFL could stop confusing me, I'd greatly appreciate it. How can a team as poor as the Bears be top of the NFC North? They almost managed to lose to a Lions team which, frankly, is one of the worst I have ever seen, and it took them into prime playoff position. Their traditional rivals, the Vikings and Packers, may only be a game behind, but the next seven games are pretty well equal for all three in terms of strength (Minnesota and Green Bay do both still have to play the Lions, but Chicago have the equally execrable Rams instead) and all play each other at least once.

There is no way the Bears are the best team in that division. And the problem persists all over the NFL. How can the Broncos be above the Chargers? How can the Bengals be 0-8? And how can the Cardinals be not one, but two games ahead in the NFC West? The whole season is turning into a recipe for insanity.