The Perfect Choke: What Roger Federer and Jason Segel Have in Common

Humans love testing the limits of probability. It's in our DNA to risk it for the biscuit.

Aside from strippers, cheesy shows and comedians and the occasionalHangover shenanigans, why do you think Vegas is always buzzing? People love chance. Don't see the thrill?

Well, you must not be fully functional. I recommend watching 21. It should change your mind.

And if you're an old-timer, check out The Sting. The Robert Redford-Paul Newman drama is a timeless wonder.

Gambling is an age-old addiction. We dig deeper, because we can't bring ourselves to admit defeat. Whether it be when our spirits are high or low, probability, and for that matter, improbability give humans that necessary rush.

I toed the line of improbability. I didn't even think that word was in my lexicon, but lo-and-behold, here I was, nearly going a full 24 hours without tweeting. Technically I did, if you don't count retweets as tweets, but I saved myself.

I thought I'd seen enough in a day to be content with my state of wonderment. But as The Sunshine Scooter likes to say, "Not so fast my friends!" I finally got to use that line in a post, phew. Now to finish my point:

I ended up witnessing two more stupefactions that day, thanks to Roger Federer and Jason Segel.

Despite coming from two extremely different ends of the celebrity realm, the Swiss Bliss and the Californicator were both tied together by one thing: The Perfect Choke.

What is The Perfect Choke you might ask? Think Perfect Storm with the end result a stunning, humiliating shocker.

I watched The Fed cruise to what looked like a spot in the semifinals of Wimbledon, where he would have play fellow top-tier tennis terrific Novak Djokovic. Two sets in, and all looked lost for underdog opponent Jo-Wilfried Tsonga.

After the match, all Tsonga would stand for was a single number: 179.

Federer had won 178 times when winning the first two sets of a match. The Fed had a goose egg in the L column. If 178-0 doesn't sound daunting, 179-0 surely does. The Dude just doesn't give up that kind of lead.

So what happened yesterday? How does the Grand Slam title leader and six-time Wimble-winner make a complete 180 from prince to pauper, even for just an instance?

Some will say karma. I don't know why but some people just don't like Federer. Momma Bayliss loves when Federer loses. "He always has a mean punim on, and he's not nearly as cute as Nadal," as she'd say. Yes, she has a crush on Nadal. I won't go into specifics, but...

It's weird.

The logical sports' fan will go broadcaster and say he "got lazy...was looking ahead" and maybe even drop a Miracle quote to make things tawdry.

Let's just keep things simple and at least give Tsonga some credit. I've always thought he was good. Not many have a slap-forehand as ugly but precise as his. He is yet another On The Verge player, joining the club with Del Potro, Ferrer, etc. as former members.

Still, the Frenchman has just earned himself the greatest turn around of his career. Now when he plays Djokovic, he'll be playing with extreme momentum and enough adrenaline to counter the exhaustion of a five-set match.

Plus, he has a winning record against Djokovic. He's growing up right before our eyes.

In those two paragraphs about Tsonga, I gave Federer all the humiliation he deserves. I didn't talk about him, praise or slander. Federer is one of those greats that deserves constant attention, and in those two paragraphs, I didn't give it to him.

Classic choke job, Federer. Now get out of here and go sulk in your money mountain. Try crying. It's what people do when things don't go there way, and take this advice:

"Society tells us we're civilized but the truth is we are animals. Sometimes we just have to let it out. Try it."

That line of great wisdom comes from the mouth of Segel. Don't freak out, it was just a line in the I Love You, Man script.

I really doubt anyone who starred on Freaks and Geeks would be intelligent enough to say something like that (To be fair, the show was great. Great acting, just taking a shot at the possible lack of intelligence).

As a teenager, I love sophomoric humor. It may sometimes be below my level of intellect, but a laugh is a laugh, and comedy is comedy. I'm very partial to the Judd Apatow gang (see Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Segel, etc).

When Segel was paired with Apatow, he was at his best. When any comedian or actor does business with Apatow, their status is elevated.

I dare you to find another movie more quote-friendly than Forgetting Sarah Marshall. You can't.

It's over, find a new show.

But in any popular industry, it's not hard to sell your soul to the devil. Segel did just this when he paired with Jake Kasdan (who?) for the movie Bad Teacher.

The movie is not just bad with a capital B-A-D. In the words of Shaqtus,it's horrawful.

One man can make a movie, and he can also break a movie. Compare any Jason Statham nail-biter to Segel's performance and you'll see what I mean. Like commercials usually do, they ruined Segel's best part, aka the LeBron-MJ argument.

Good thing the movie was bad, because that scene set me off on a whole other tangent. Although I do agree with Segel here, call me when he has six rings, SEAN!

But besides that scene, and Cameron Diaz's sex-soaked car wash, the movie was an utter disappointment. Actually, it wasn't really a disappointment. I expected it to be mediocre, but I was eager for another brilliant Segel screamer.

It was all for naught, and I indeed wasted $10. Segel was no where near his usually humorous self. He laid a bigger egg than anything the Food Network could concoct.

But seriously, how great was Diaz decked out in Daisy Duke wardrobe and suds?

So there you have it, the Federer-Segel seam. Two idols synced via implosion. Boom went the dynamite, twice.

Let's only hope these are just gaffes in their heralded careers. Otherwise, I'll have a lot more writing to do. But that means I'll get to reference more Forgetting Sarah Marshall, oh boy!

I just went from six to midnight...