Most Outrageously Dressed Athletes

Professional athletes have a significant amount of money, which gives them the opportunity to buy anything they want.

Expensive cars, expensive houses, and expensive suits.

Then there are the athletes who get to blow their money on eccentric costumes.

I guess when you have that much money, buying something a five-year-old would reject is an incredible way to live.

When these athletes wear these clothes, these Top 20 athletes metaphorically decide to take a $100 bill and light it on fire in front of a collective audience.

But who am I to judge.

Honorable Mention: Kobe Bryant

Kobe Bryant's wardrobe is pretty calm compared to the rest of these nut jobs.

But I can't ignore someone who looks like they are preparing to go into the computer of Willy Wonka.

But believe me, this isn't the only ridiculous outfit Kobe has sported.

No. 20: Dywane Wade

I've figured it out!

It was Colonel Mustard, with the wrench, in the drawing room!

Wait, wait.

I'm sorry, I am mistaking Dwyane Wade for Colonel Mustard, from the famous Clue board game.

It's a pretty easy mistake since Wade looks like a cartoon character in this outfit.

I do this often. One time, I thought he was the reincarnation of Michael Jackson.

No. 19: Sean Avery

Maybe Sean Avery's lady friend here provided him with a few too many of those green bottle drinks.

Because there is no way a clear mind is believing that a plaid Clark Kent looks good on anyone.

Neither does a British school boy look.

Can we just go back to the Sean Avery who hockey players hate? 

At least then he is wearing a decent looking jersey.

No. 18: Lamar Odom

Lamar Odom seems depressed about something.

Maybe he didn't play well in a 2009 Western Conference game.

But if I put my best guess forward, it's that he is super sad about Khloe Kardashian forcing him to wear this disaster.

Or it just might be he is depressed that he married Khloe Kardashian.

But anyways, I honestly believe he has to be up on the podium, having a panic inside, knowing he is being harshly judged by anyone who sees him in that costume.

There is a pattern to this madness. 

No. 17: Jesper Parnevik

If you're wondering why Jesper wears his hat strangely, it's because he wanted sun while playing golf in Sweden.

Also, his father is a comedian, so that might explain the clothes, because they're a total hoot.

If you want to know more about one of golf's pioneers in bright and tight colored clothing, a great interview is just a click away.

No. 16: Cristiano Ronaldo

When women declare you the most sought after athlete like Cristiano, you have no other choice but to start dressing outrageously, just to start experimenting.

That is what Cristiano looks like he has done, doing his best impression of an Edward Scissorhands barbie doll.

When women still wanted him, he pushed the envelope further by dressing up as a....well...I have no words for this outfit.

The only thing I can say is that I find it's worth noting that Cristiano seems to shave his arms and legs.

No. 15: Rio Ferdinand

Tight pants.

Check.

Skimpy top.

Check.

It'd be a great outfit if this were Jessica Simpson.

Unfortunately for us, it's just Rio Ferdinand.

On the other hand, this is exactly the kind of thing I'd expect someone named Rio Ferdinand to wear. So let's call it a wash.

No. 14: Michael Irvin

In an incredible moment captured via the magical device usually referred to as a camera, Michael Irvin has been caught.

Caught with what you may ask?

Well, Irvin finally came under the realization that he looks like a total idiot wearing a suit a lumberjack would be embarrassed to wear with a black dress shirt underneath.

Unfortunately for all of us, these moments last about as long as it takes for a hummingbird to flap its wings once, so I am sure Irvin will be dressing like this several times in the future.

No. 13: Joakim Noah

Most basketball players approach the NBA Draft very seriously and professionally.

I mean, it is usually the most important day of their life up to that point.

Joakim Noah took this moment to dress like a dweeb with a bow tie, while cheesing out next to the commissioner of his chosen profession.

Noah has also been seen looking like a 1970s carpet pattern.

No. 12: Shannon Sharpe

I am always excited to see what ridiculous suit Shannon Sharpe will don.

But not as excited as I get watching every single one of the CBS analysts trying and failing at talking.

No. 11: Joe Namath

Joe Namath was one of the original athletes to start wearing outlandish outfits.

I honestly don't know how he got away with wearing a Cruella DeVille mink coat on an NFL sideline, but it scares me that no one called him out on this.

If Namath can get away with wearing this, what else is humanity capable of?

At least his style has matured as he has gotten older.

Or maybe not.

No. 10: Deion Sanders

When I was little, one of my favorite movies was Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

But never in my wildest dreams did I believe that Deion Sanders would bring an imaginative movie about cartoons to life wearing this ridiculous suit.

Rule of thumb: Never wear mustard yellow.

Ever.

This little number makes me crave Creamsicles.

No. 9: Rickie Fowler

You know the part in Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark where they open the Ark of the Covenant and all the Nazi's melt away?

That is what happens when you look directly into the orange outfit that Rickie Fowler wears on a consistent basis.

When he isn't trying to dress up as one of Digger Phelps highlighters, he is desperately trying to get a sponsorship from the tiny candies known as Smarties when he is sporting this outfit. 

No. 8: Williams

Venus is aware that this is a tennis court, not a runway where she is showing off her new lingerie right?

Oh well, mistakes are made.

Then again, is there an excuse in the book for wearing a dress designed after a pie crust?

Yes, in fact.

She must do it to distract the competition. It seems work wonders.

No. 7: Serena Williams

I'm not sure if you're aware Serena, but Jeff Bridges is no where to be found on this tennis court.

Which means that we are no where near the world of Tron.

I don't see Arnold from Terminator, so I don't understand the biker gear either.

That does it. It's time for someone to have a stern talk with the Williams' sisters and explain to them that they need to bow out of the fashion business.

For everyone's sake.

No. 6: Shingo Katayama

During the years of expansion in this fine country of ours, cowboys led the charge towards the open west. 

To combat the harsh climates that the West provided, they usually wore leather and ten-gallon hats to keep the sun out of the eyes.

Now that the West has been won, people to this day still sport cowboy hats to keep the sun out.

Real cowboys must be rolling in their graves knowing that people like Shingo Katayama have taken their beloved hats and made them out of snake skin while wearing the color pink.

No. 5: John Daly

Want to know how John Daly's clothes are produced?

Every one of these outfits is put through a machine.

First, it goes through a food fight with Peter Pan and the Lost Boys from the movie Hook. 

Then, a Dr. Seuss character vomits uncontrollably onto his pants and shirt.

Twice.

Then the Dr. Seuss character throws up on them again for good measure.

It's a dirty job, but somebody has to do it for John. 

No. 4: Ian Poulter

Ian Poulter never disappoints.

Every tournament, he shows up wearing some sort of outfit that makes anyone giggle who has a sense of humor.

Which means that we are excluding Colin Montgomerie.

You can enjoy Poulter's entire outrageous wardrobe here.

No. 3: Clinton Portis

Dolemite Jenkins was inspired by Napoleon Dynamite.

Dr. I Don't Know was created to give the best explanation on why the Redskins were losing so much.

Chu Chu The Dance Instructor, pictured here, is my personal favorite. Chu Chu instructs players who reach the endzone what celebratory dances to do.

Other characters include:

South East Jerome

Sheriff Gon Getcha

Kid Bro Sweets

Reverend Gon Change

Inspector Tu-Tu

They are all explained on the NFL Network.

No. 2: Alex Reid

The cage fighter admitted in 2009 that he enjoys dressing up as a woman for a laugh or two.

Reid admitted this fact after catching the attention of tabloid's while dating Katie Price.

I know one thing.

I know I am getting plenty of laughs over Reid's extracurricular activities.

No. 1: Dennis Rodman

There have been several descriptions about Dennis Rodman and his wild outfits.

I can't even fathom the amount of ink that has been spent putting words onto a piece of paper to describe his alternative lifestyle.

But I only have three words to describe Rodman.

Beetlejuice!

Beetlejuice!

Beetlejuice!!