Craziest 'Sports' from Around the World
We here in the great country of the United States have it easy.
We have great sports that other countries don't really participate in like baseball and football.
Other than the great sports of soccer and golf, these countries from afar have responded with their lack of love for NFL by coming up with, let's be honest, pretty terrible ideas.
But God bless them for trying.
At least the other ones they came up with are bizarre, entertaining and usually end with the winner receiving beer.
No. 25: Pooh Sticks
This sport has nothing to do with human waste. Pooh-Sticks was actually inspired by the children's books Winnie the Pooh.
This sport blew me away with its fast-pace, white knuckle, hold onto your butt kind of fun.
You essentially drop a stick from a bridge and then run over to the other side to see whose stick goes fastest.
No wonder Eeyore was depressed and Tigger dabbled in cocaine. They had to hang out with the straight-laced Pooh Bear while he went bananas over dropping sticks in a river.
This sport is almost as boring as the Green Bay Packers.
Origin: Dorchester-on-Thames, Oxfordshire, England
No. 24: Pig Racing and Diving
Pigs race and dive at the Royal Melbourne Show. It is a lot of fun and everyone involved really enjoys themselves.
Which means, of course, there are demands for it to be shut down because nobody likes fun.
Hey PETA, vegans, or any other nut jobs who ruin everyone else's fun because you hate your life. I have a message for you. For every animal you don't eat, I will eat three. So your efforts are futile.
Just because I stole that from Maddox doesn't make it any less true.
Origin: Melbourne, Australia
No. 23: Beer Can Regatta
Darwin has one of the highest beer consumption in the world. Somehow between peeing in corners and pounding Foster's on their heads for no reason whatsoever, they put their collective minds together and came up with this awesome idea:
If I ever put enough money together, I am hiring top engineers to build an enormous battleship complete with cannonballs just so I can destroy the little kid boats that they made with soda pop cans. I will do this out of total spite because apparently it was just fun with beer cans until it became a family friendly event that promotes responsible drinking.
Popularity has dwindled as of late because that is what happens when you let kids become involved. That is my guess anyway.
Location: Darwin, Australia
No. 22: Bossaball
Bossaball is a hybrid of gymnsatics, soccer and volleyball and is my vote for the coolest sport out there.
Two teams that consist of three to five players play with a specifically designed ball and an inflatable courtthat has a trampoline.
Make your serve look cool
Eight touches a possession. Two with one body part but only one with your hands.
Three points for scoring on the trampoline; one on the court
Play to 25 over three sets.
How anyone could ever get good at this sport is a complete mystery to me. Can you imagine a kid going up to his dad and proudly declaring he wants to be a pro bossaball player?
"Sure son! Let me just get an inflatable court that probably costs thousands, has to be specially ordered and throw it in our backyard!"
The father would then shake his head, chuckle and toss him a football.
No. 21: Octopush
No. 20: Chess Boxing
"Fighting is done in the ring, but wars are waged on a board."
I got really excited for this one because I am a huge Wu Tang clan and thought Ol' Dirty Bastard, Ghostface Killah and Raekwon had released Da Mystery of Chessboxin' as a training video.
Instead it is a bunch of fit nerds who box between playing the board game chess. I have nothing against nerds, in fact I love them like my kin.
It was brought to life by a Dutch event artist named Lepe Rubingh after he was inspired by a graphic novel called, Froid Équateur. So basically it is super awesome.
No. 19: Royal Shrovetide Football
At first I loved this idea.
Then I dismissed it because it is full of cream puffs and namby-pamby's.
Why do I say that?
I learned the rules state that you aren't permitted to kill anyone or use a motor vehicle to carry the ball.
Origin: Ashbourne, Derbyshire UK
No. 18: Bed Racing
Since England is so foggy and depressing, these people thought up a sport where you don't even have to get out of bed to participate.
The annual Knaresborough Bed Race began in 1965. Each team is made up of six people, plus one lucky team member who gets to lay on the bed. The bed has to have four wheels and must be able to float because you have to cross a river in this 3 kilometer race that ends at Conyngham Hall.
If I were the guy on the bed, I'd be taking full advantage by wearing a crown, constantly snapping my fingers,screaming demands and lowering a full stem of grapes in my mouth.
The most enjoyable moment of my life would then turn into the worst because my teammates would surely beat me to an inch of my life once we reached the finish.
Origin: Yorkshire, England
No. 17: Canal Jumping
Sure, the shimmying is impressive, but how cool would it be to see really talented people like strippers or really strong guys do nutty tricks just before they land on the other side.
A National Canal Jumping Contest is held every August 22nd. No prizes are awarded except the irreplaceable feeling knowing you are the Dutch Champion Canal Jumper.
Seriously? You couldn't reward people with beer like all the other sports?
No. 16: Road Bowling
The ball size for this ancient sport is a cast-iron ball that is 58 mm in diameter. Competitors follow a country road course and chuck the ball as far and accurately as they can so they reach the finish in the fewest attempts. There is also a specific way to throw the ball and there is actually betting that takes place.
Think it's dumb?
Well, you're right. It is.
Let's call this what it is. A way for hitchhiker's to keep themselves busy.
Origin: Eamhain Maca, Ireland
No. 15: Bog Snorkelling
In the World Bog Snorkelling Championship, competitors must complete two lengths of a bog trench that is 60 yards in length.
You must wear snorkels and flippers, but not wet suits.
This event has also added Mountain Bike Bog Snorkelling and a Bog Triathlon.
Parental Advisory: Andy from Shawshank Redemption would absolutely murder people in this contest.
Origin: Whales, UK
No. 14: Wife Carrying Competition
This competition is a metaphor for what men have been doing since the dawn of time (boom, roasted).
The old ball and chain has to be over 17, has to weigh at least 108 lbs and dropping her is a 15 second penalty. Also, she doesn't actually have to be your wife.
The course usually includes a plethora of surfaces that include land and water, with several obstacles along the way.
The winner gets a cell phone and their "wife's" weight in beer.
I would love to see a competitor with a love of large beer and women putting in his best effort and then failing miserably as him and his 300 lb wife biff it in a muddy creek.
Best of all, Dennis Rodman competed in this event!
And before I look out my window and see and angry mob of women with torches and pitchforks outside my window, know I only kid.
Origin: Sonkajärvi, Finland
No. 13: Nettle Eating Competition
This competition is one that even vegetarians can get on board with.
It was invented in 1986 after farmers decided to settle a dispute by seeing who could eat the most stinging nettles.
What an idea. Instead of boring debates, politicians should replace their nonsensical babble and empty promises with eating a plant that hurts your mouth. Things would be a lot simpler.
Origin: Marshwood, Dorset UK
No. 12: Shin Kicking
Shin-kicking has been long featured in the Cotswold Olimpicks.
Competitors earn a point for every time their opponent falls. The person with the highest score after three rounds wins.
Those involved are allowed to pad their shins with as much straw as they like.
I am sure at one point or another, every group of friends has taken this idea out to the parking lot of their local bar after a few too many.
Ah, the dazzling environment that is college.
Origin: Cotswold, England
No. 11: Hornussen
I would explain in detail how Hornussen is played, but I would actually like to have a life before the age of 75.
Here is everything you need to know.
Short version: People try to claim its a cross between golf and baseball, but those people are dumb. You hit a small rubber "hornuss" with a "bat," which is pretty much a thin fishing rod. A bunch of people about 300 yards away try to hit the projectile with their large fans. The batter is awarded a point if no one hits his rubber ball and given additional points for the distance he hits the ball.
I have nothing else to say about this sport other than I know I would be hit in the face a record number of times by either the rubber ball or my own bat.
No. 10: World Beard and Mustache Competition
. The 2011 contest will be held in Trondheim, Norway.
The individual categories are mustache, sideburn, partial beard and full beard.
This competition isn't athletic per say but a true test of determination and sacrifice.
These brave souls gave up women and friends with normal people just so they could grow amazing facial hair.
These men are true heroes and I salute them for the 15 seconds I see them every year.
Origin: Höfen-Enz, Germany
No. 9: Kabaddi
This ancient sport involves two teams of seven players that play 20-minutes halves.
Teams send a "raider" to the other teams half. His responsibility is to tag as many players as he can before he can get back to the other side. The catch is the raider has to hold his breath the entire time he is on the oppositions half.
The raider has to chant "kabaddi" to prove he is holding his breath.
It wouldn't surprise me if the most common injury was a brain aneurysm.
This sport was suprisingly in the 1936 Berlin Olympic Games.
Origin: South Asia
No. 8: Cheese Rolling
Every May, competitors climb Cooper's Hill in Gloucester and roll down a seven pound wheel of cheese. They then kill themselves to try and catch their wheel which can reach speeds up to 70 mph.
People seriously do get hurt. They cancelled this year's event.
If I had any idea Borat was going to be a part of this competition in 2009, I would have killed a man to get there.
But then again, would I really want to be scarred for life after inevitably seeing this man's cash and prizes after he has a wardrobe malfunction rolling down the hill? This debate has been swirling in my head for days now.
Origin: Gloucester, England
No. 7: Extreme Ironing
No. 6: Goanna Pulling
At first, I thought this sport was originated by S&M call-girls who would do this to solve who got their next client, but like always, I was wrong.
Basically two guys throw on a huge leather strap around their necks and partake in a weird version of tug-of-war.
There are junior competitions and weight classes.
Origin: Wooli, Australia
No. 5: Dwile Flonking Aka Beer Rag Tossing
Dwile Flonking is a game where drunken buffoons circle around another drunken buffoon. The man in the middle, known as the flonker, tries to hit those circling him with a beer-soaked rag.
If the rag hits one of those circling, a point is scored. If the flonker somehow misses, he has to drink.
The game is over after 4 rounds.
I am convinced this game was created when a 5-year-old wandered into the pub and rambled on about nothing. The drunks then decided to go along with all the rules this imagination-filled toddler came up with and *poof* we now have Dwile Flonking.
It's the only way. I refuse to believe adults came up with this one.
Origin: Sussex, England
No. 4: Gurning
Gurning is known as making an ugly and weird face.
Many of these are the bitter beer faces I make when I drink Miller Lite, because it is a really terrible tasting beer.
The competition is held every September and gurning through a horse collar is known as "gurnin' through a braffin."
England's Peter Jackman has won the world championship four times from 1998 and is known as England's best gurner. Shockingly, that title has probably got him lucky with the ladies a total of zero times.
Location originated: Egremont Crab Fair, UK
No. 3: Dwarf Tossing
Dwarf tossing was originally a sport about distance, but then some people in the US decided to dress them in a suit and throw them onto a wall made of Velcro.
I am not making this up, I swear.
This sport is now banned. I know, I can't believe it either.
Personally, I don't see why it is illegal. Do people think these dwarfs were kidnapped and then forced at gunpoint to take part in this "sport?"
Of course not. They did this willingly and judging by the smiles on their faces, they seem to be enjoying themselves. If I were a dwarf, I would be more offended by this lady who obviously has a stereotypical view on little people and disrespects them more than those who are taking part in this activity.
But I GUESS I can also see the side of the dwarfs who wanted it banned because I it disrespects them.
No. 2: Camel Wrestling
What an incredible blood sport. Once the voice from Mortal Kombat yells "FINISH HIM," a camel will actually break down the windpipe of a downed camel.
If you ever want to see me out of my mind, I am the guy in the stands with a green plastic dealer hat on and a cigar screaming "RIP ITS HEAD OFF!!!"
Incredibly, I have yet to find PETA members on this one, even though I am sure they are out there. They must be too busy fighting those terrorists who force pigs to run around and jump in a pool of water.
No. 1: Ferret Legging
The name of the game is "keepin' them down."
What this means is you stuff a ferret down your pants and make him stay there for as long as you can stand it.
The former world record holder was a Yorkshire resident named Reg Mellor. In 1981, he kept two in his pants for for five hours and twenty six minutes.
I am assuming this was his insane way of not wanting to keep the Mellor family name going.
The record now has been set by a retired teacher named Frank Bartlett, who set it at 5 hours and 30 minutes.
Origin: Disputed. England or Scotland.