NFL Lockout: Where Ten NFL Players and Personnel Should Work Next Fall

With the NFL already closing the doors on the 2011-2012 football season, Chad Ochocinco has already made arrangements to work elsewhere.

While he was showing off his fancy footwork in Kansas City, I started to worry about the other jobless players that might have a hard time finding work.

Luckily for ten NFL players and personnel, I got down to business and wrote some ideas down to help the unemployed find work this upcoming fall.

Terrell Owens: Stenographer

TO has a lot to put on his celebration resume: Popcorn taster, Cheerleader, etc.  But the one that stands out the most is his penmanship skills. Seeing him sign the pigskin after one of his signature touchdowns (no pun intended) was nothing but proof that this man can make a second career with writing.

Rex Ryan: Pedicurist

If you’re into the NFL, than you already know why he is the man for the foot work. Hopefully he doesn’t get too excited going to work, or we could see a “Roethlisberger: Foot Edition” with this crazed head coach.

Antonio Gates: NBA

Harry How/Getty Images

SAN DIEGO - OCTOBER 24: Antonio Gates #85 of the San Diego Chargers runs after his catch against the New England Patriots at Qualcomm Stadium on October 24, 2010 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

At 6’4” and 240 lbs. could Gates revive his basketball career? He went four years without playing football at Kent State, so why couldn’t he come off eight seasons in the NFL and come off the bench for a small-market team?

Pac-Man Jones: Strip Club DJ

Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

ATLANTA - OCTOBER 24: Adam Jones #24 of the Cincinnati Bengals against the Atlanta Falcons at Georgia Dome on October 24, 2010 in Atlanta, Georgia. (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

Something tells me this guy knows a thing or two about these joints, let alone the music blasted in there. The only problem will be getting granted permission inside after his incident.

Randy Moss: Restaurant Critic

Jamie Squire/Getty Images

KANSAS CITY, MO - DECEMBER 26: Receiver Randy Moss #84 of the Tennessee Titans watches from the sidelines during the game against the Kansas City Chiefs on December 26, 2010 at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Ima

We all know the story about Moss’ last days in Minnesota when he called the team meal they were eating “crap” and claimed that he “wouldn’t feed it to his dog”. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Simon Cowell of fine dining.

Kelley Washington: Dance Instructor

Need I say more?

Herm Edwards: Motivational Speaker

Without the NFL, what would you expect him to talk about on ESPN, squash? Instead of hanging around the studio, I could see this man giving pep talks to teams, corporations or just anyone. I don’t know what it is, but when this man talks, I listen intently.

Brian Urlacher: USA Rugby Team

Andy Lyons/Getty Images

CHICAGO, IL - JANUARY 23: Running back Brandon Jackson #32 of the Green Bay Packers is tackled by Brian Urlacher #54 of the Chicago Bears in the second half in the NFC Championship Game at Soldier Field on January 23, 2011 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo b

With the Rugby World Cup coming up later this year (I’m sure you knew that already) what would be a better addition that a fast running linebacker that hits like an Escalade on 22’s?

Bill Belichick: Poker Player

Jim Rogash/Getty Images

FOXBORO, MA - DECEMBER 13: Head coach Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots walks the field before a game against the Carolina Panthers at Gillette Stadium on December 13, 2009 in Foxboro, Massachusetts. (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images)

This is provided he knows how to play. The reason why this profession would be spot on for him is answered in this very question: Have you ever seen more than one facial expression from him? Nope. That’s called a poker face kids.

Mike Ditka: High School Principal

Another ESPN analyst who would be out of a job and could be placed elsewhere...like dictating overlooking a high school. If you get called into the principal’s office, are you really going to challenge this man’s authority?

Only if you’re crazy.