Ten Top Tens After Week 5 In College Football

Top Ten Teams

1) Oklahoma - The Sooners keep right on rolling.

2) LSU - Last year's defending champs right on target.

3) Texas - Playing like they have something to prove.

4) Alabama - A nice win, but my guess is they won't be here long.

5) Penn State - What can we say about Joe Pa's kids this year?

6) BYU - The more turbulence in front of them, the better for the Cougars.

7) Tulsa - Two non-BCS schools get in?

8) South Florida - A win is a win is a win.

9) Missouri - With that defense they aren't going far.

10) Utah - Parity is here.

I Told You So...Ten Times

1) Clemson is overrated. I did a double take when you guys ranked them...again.

2) Gators can't run the ball. Gimmicks only get you so far.

3) Nebraska can't beat anyone good. Why do you think they schedule so many stiffs?

4) Iowa can't cover a spread. Apparently they forgot how to win games as well.

5) Clemson is overrated. Maybe it will stick if you guys hear it enough times.

6) Texas is really good. Take notice; Colt McCoy is better than we thought.

7) Duke is better this year. Looks like my bowl prediction may actually be right.

8) Virginia Tech isn't done yet. Beamer and Foster have won with a lot less than this.

9) Oregon can score with anyone at QB. Their fifth-string QB has more TD passes than the entire Auburn team.

10) Tulsa is going to run the table. Any doubters still out there?

Ten Places I'm Glad I'm Nowhere Near today

1) Gainesville - Known for being pretty sore losers.

2) Jimmy John's Jail Cell - Sucks to be him is my guess.

3) Lincoln, Neb. - Such nice people to be fooled again.

4) Dolphin Stadium - Actually I'm always glad when I'm not near that place; bring back the OB.

5) Knoxville, Tenn. - Where's David Cutcliffe when you need him?

6) Skip Holtz's Agent's Office - Getting awfully quiet all of the sudden.

7) Los Angeles - Not a good weekend for college football fans. I'll leave it at that.

8) Las Vegas - Wouldn't have been a good day for me yesterday.

9) Toledo, Ohio - Not that it's ever a great day to be there, but today must be extra bad.

10) Fayetteville, Ark.- I think the Hogs just gave up another TD.

Let's Give It Up For The Smart Guys...

1) Duke - You guys are good.

2) Northwestern - Nice job at Iowa.

3) Navy - Highest graduation rate in D-1 and a win over Wake.

4) Stanford - Winners on the road over Washington.

5) Cal - Whooped up on Colorado State.

6) Rice - These guys can count way past 77.

7) Notre Dame - Say what you will, these guys graduate over 90 percent.

8) Boston College - Smart enough to schedule Rhode Island on Upset Saturday.

9) Vandy - Had a bye and still moves up in the rankings.

10) Army - Didn't win, but actually looked respectable for a change.

Ten More Things I Noticed This Week

1) Charlie Weis is letting his hair grow out. Hippie.

2) Kirk Herbstreit missed the Georgia-Alabama game. He got four hours in a booth with Brent Musburger instead. Talk about a double whammy.

3) Larry Coker is more boring of an announcer than he was a coach. I know we didn't think this was possible.

4) Home teams get a lot of great calls. I guess we did notice this before.

5) Pete Carroll claps a lot. Hey Pete, knock it off or I'll start calling you "Clappy."

6) Oklahoma has a really nice stadium. That thing is unbelievable, even on TV.

7) Bo Pelini needs a stylist. Do something Bo. Everyone knows you make millions, so the sweatshirt and ballcap thing doesn't cut it.

8) I actually spend time wondering if any Clemson player ever fell down the hill. I wonder this every time I see it, but actually noticed this week.

9) Frank Beamer looks younger than he used to. Did he lose weight?

10) For a team that embraces tradition, Georgia is pretty non-traditional. I'm just not a fan of "alternative" uniforms.

Ten More Times I was Wrong

1) USC covers easily. Yeah right.

2) Bama is built to win in a year or two; Georgia is built to win right now. It sounded so good.

3) FIU is just as bad as last year. Nope.

4) North Texas is the worst team in the country. Wait a second; they gave up 77 to Rice yesterday, so maybe they are.

5) Jimmy Claussen isn't that good. Maybe not the next Montana, but really some nice touch passes.

6) John Parker Wilson will cost Alabama the game. Not between the hedges he didn't.

7) Wisconsin will win the Big Ten. Not if Joe Pa has anything to say about it.

8) UCLA and the spread - I am 0-5 against the spread in UCLA games this year.

9) Bill Stewart is the worst coach in the country. Sorry, Tommy Bowden, I forgot about you for a minute or two.

10) The ACC isn't as bad as everyone thinks. Maybe Duke goes to a BCS bowl the way things are going.

Ten Biggest Week 5 Disappointments

1) Notre Dame won. It's more fun when they lose.

2) Wisconsin - Can I borrow Pete Carroll's choke sign?

3) Auburn's Offense - They actually said on TV that they hoped Chris Todd was injured, because then he would have an excuse for how poorly he threw the ball.

4) Georgia's first half - Will go down as one of the biggest no-shows of all time.

5) The Officiating - It's gotten even worse.

6) Patrick Nix's Offense - The prevent Offense is against everything I believe in.

7) USC's Offensive game plan - Did they have one?

8) North Texas - Just cancel the rest of your games if you aren't even going to try.

9) Florida's Running game - I guess you actually have to have something to be disappointed in it.

10) Arkansas - This is a team in total disarray.

Ten Victims of the Soup Nazi (No Soup For you)

1) Mark Sanchez - No Heisman

2) Tommy Bowden - No Love

3) Mark Richt - No National Title

4) Dolphins Stadium - No one home

5) North Texas - No Wins

6) Phil Fulmer - No Job

7) Colt McCoy - No Respect

8) ACC - No Top-Tier Team

9) Clemson Fans - Nothing to cheer about

10) UGA - No Picture on Miami Mitch's Ten Top 10's

What We Have To Look Forward To

1)Texas-Oklahoma - Going to be the next big thing.

2) A BCS Mess - Inevitable now.

3) Cries of "We're No. 2" - Is anything more pathetic?

4) 10 More Weeks of Regular Season - Yeehaw!!

5) Bad-weather games- I can feel it in the air here.

6) More Upsets - Saturday was just the beginning.

7) Florida-LSU - Should be a really good one.

8) Trojan West Coast Spin - Like the Sun Rising in the East.

9) Losing teams in Bowl games - Either that or D-1AA.

10) Notre Dame in A BCS Game - Someone do something then.

Ten Reasons To Keep Watching College Football This Year

1) It's the best game there is. I dare you to try and find one better.

2) Maybe the announcers will stop acting like they know everything. They don't; we do.

3) Easy Point Spreads - A lot of people will give up after the whooping they took this weekend.

4) The SEC - They aren't going to stop hitting.

5) You won't have to see Pete Carroll as much. The media doesn't love him as much when he's not No. 1.

6) They'll be plenty to argue. Going to be tough without a playoff this time around.

7) The Fight Songs and Rivalries - It's getting to be that time already.

8) Conference Games - Did someone say bad blood?

9) Trophy Games - The Iron Bowl, Paul Bunyon's Axe, The Little Brown Jug, Clean, old-fashioned hate, etc.

10) You may never get a chance to see Tommy Bowden on a sideline again. Sorry, never going to let him off easy.

You can always see what Mitch has to say at The College Football Place