Message From Bear Bryant To Pete Carroll: Don't Mess With My Boy Mike Riley!

I can hear the sound of Gabriel's trumpet, awakening the senses of Earthlings tuned in to such things. Moses and Abraham, longtime Deputy Directors of transportation for those behind the gates of old friend Peter, had a message from one of the residents. Yes, the one with the gravel voice who once wrestled a Bear.

The message, delivered to an unassuming man who can chew gum faster than John Henry swung a pick axe to beat the steam-shovel, was a simple one. "Don't mess with my boy Mike Riley!"

The distinguished-looking gray haired man leaned back, and said, "You gotta be kidding." "I've got the No. 1 team in the country, Joe Paterno blew Oregon State out, 45-14 two weeks ago and he's older than Methuselah."

"Well," said the gentleman clutching his horn, "I'm a mite bit older than Methuselah myself, and I find I can still get aound well enough to come here and tell you this story."

"You see, this Mike Riley has a special place in the heart of his old coach. Mike Riley recruited the old coach so he could go to school at Alabama, sending films of his high school activities and performances on the field. The old coach was so impressed with the tenacity of the boy from Oregon that he finally relented and brought him to Alabama.

"Being a coach's son, the boy soaked up all the information from the great old coach and became his favorite player, starting for three years in Tuscaloosa. During his years at Alabama they lost only one regular season game, by one point to Auburn. He still doesn't like to punt, we can't imagine why."

The Coach of the No. 1 ranked Trojans sat down and said, "Well, being No. 1 is important to me but, I don't want to get into any trouble with the old boys upstairs. What am I going to tell the people after the game is over and we've lost?"

Following a moment of silence, the golden man said, "Tell them the Good Book says a child shall lead them. After the game is over, you and everyone else will know what I'm talking about."

Noticing the the figure began to float into the sky, the man of Troy screamed out, "Wait, how did HE get in there? He finished No. 1 six different times! What did he do to get in there after that, what can I do, I must know!!"

"Oh, that's easy" replied the ever-climbing voice, "just make sure you never beat Notre Dame!"