We Have a Trade To Announce: Maple Leafs Finally Trade Tomas Kaberle

After years of speculation, creating broken families, divorces and murders, the Tomas Kaberle trade speculation can all come to an end. He has been traded.

Here are the terms of the deal:

To Boston: Tomas Kaberle (duh!)

To Toronto: Joe Colborne, first-round pick (BOS), conditional second-round pick 2012 (BOS)

Now the main thing to note, no that pick is not the one we traded to Boston. It's not going to magically turn into Tyler Seguin; it is just Boston's first-round pick of this year. Got that? If you're the Toronto media, the answer is no. Moving on!

Kaberle was a class act his entire career in Toronto. He was a great player and a great person. In fact, he still is unless Boston can change him that much in the span of six hours. He never complained about anything and signed a cheap contract. Granted the no-trade-clause is something people wish he didn't have, but by giving a discount, he did in fact buy it. To Tomas, I merely say I will miss you. I will miss your ability to pass, your recently learned skill of passing really fast directly at the opposing net (I believe some people call this a shot) and most importantly, your extremely rosy cheeks.

Now, let us discuss the draft picks. The conditional pick is a second rounder that Toronto gets if Boston makes it to the Stanley Cup Finals or re-signs Tomas Kaberle. Interesting, but it's not a pick Toronto wants to get. The real beauty of this plan is the first-round pick is not protected because Boston didn't think they would need protection.

Now that Kaberle is a Bruin, he will make sure they lose every single game, thus netting the Leafs the first overall pick. Hence the importance of the first-round pick. And then, he will sign the contract he and Brian Burke signed yesterday. It is dated July 1, 2011. How do I know you ask? It's sitting in my vault in Switzerland.

Now for Joe Colborne. Yes he is big, yes he doesn't use his size as much as he should and yes his cheeks are not as rosy as Kaberle's. But we did need someone to deliver the contract to the Swiss vault, and he seemed like the perfect guy. As a result, he was made part of the trade. I also pinched his cheeks many times in an attempt to make them as rosy as Kaberle's. It's not happening.