The January 27, 2011 Edition Of TNA Impact: Recap, Review And Analysis
It's nearing 9:00 eastern time on Thursday Night, which means it's TNA Impact time! I've done this a couple of times in the past and it did okay. The main problem is I can't keep up with the show by typing and I'm one of three people in the universe without Tivo.
Here is the preview for tonight's show:
- "TNA Wrestling newcomer Crimson delivered a shocking message to Immortal - THEY are coming! Will THEY strike again this week? Who will THEY be revealed as on the big February 3rd IMPACT broadcast? More news this Thursday night!"
- Olympic Gold Medalist and multi-time World Champion Kurt Angle will appear on the broadcast to address the volatile situation involving The Jarretts, Jeff and his former wife Karen!
- TNA World Heavyweight Champion Mr. Anderson will battle Matt Hardy, just a week before Jeff Hardy's title rematch!
- In a Knockout Elimination Match, it will be Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne, Tara and Sarita vs. Velvet Sky, Angelina Love and Mickie James"
-Via TNAwrestling.com
Start of the show!
Tenay welcomes us to Impact and Kurt Angle is on his way to the ring. He talks about last week and his beatdown at the hands of Jeff Jarrett and Immortal. He says he never retired because of Jeff Jarrett. He asks the crowd if they want to see him wrestle. He wants to beat the sh*t out of Jeff Jarrett.
Eric Bishoff and Immortal come out. He gets a bunch of cheap heat and says Kurt Angle is retired. However, if Kurt wants a beatdown, Eric can give him that. Immortal attacks Kurt.
Haven't we seen this enough in both TNA and WWE with all these stables?
Karen and Jeff Jarrett watch and woah! Crimson comes to help Kurt out. Immortal flees.
Ric Flair talks to Crimson and says Crimson and "they" will do nothing. He is god... WOOOO!!!!! Flair gives Angle and Crimson a match with Jarrett... with Beer Money, Gunner, Murphy, Kazarian, Rob Terry and Kazarian. Karen Jarrett was angry at Flair until he adds the other guys.
Anybody interested in seeing another dumb handicap match ending in a beatdown? Me either.
*Commercial Break*
Bischoff in his office with Flair. Bischoff is angry because Flair put Angle back on the roster after he retired himself. Flair screams, Bischoff claims he's going to have a heart attack.
They just referred to Dixie Carter as the TNA President. I thought she had lost control of TNA? Is it me or did TNA just mess up a storyline? We're evidently supposed to hear from Dixie tonight.
Elimination Tag Match: Tara, Madison Rayne and Sarita vs. Mickie James and The Beautiful People
Weird backstage segment with Winter and The Beautiful People. Love tells Winter that Velvet Sky has been her BFF and she needs to stay backstage. Winter goes crazy. Tenay and Taz play up the jealousy of Winter.
After hearing about Mickie James' backstage fits, I find her very unlikable.
Taz opens the birdcage and if you watch TNA, you know what I'm talking about.
They completely brawl.
I'm sorry, I'm not even going to try and go move-to-move through this match. Love is in control and tags in James. Sarita is tagged in. Sky tags in and takes control of Sarita.
Sarita hits a backbreaker on Sky, hits Sarita's head into the turnbuckle and some move. Attempts a pin but it's broken up. Sky is eliminated after a punch with the loaded glove by Rayne. James pins Rayne, Sarita rolls James up right after.
Sarita and Tara vs. Angelina Love are now left.
*Commercial Break*
Love reverses a move into a roundhouse kick to Sarita's head. Sky is down in the locker room.. what? Love has Sarita in leg scissors. Sarita breaks out.
They continue the beatdown on Love. Is Sarita supposed to be Mexican, because she doesn't look Mexican to me. Love is double teamed but reverses. Hits the botox injection on Tara and reverses a roll up on Sarita for the win.
Winner: The BP and Mickie James.
Kurt Angle on the phone, supposedly asking for backup.
*Commercial Break*
Matt Hardy (sigh) cuts a promo on Mr. Anderson. Says he got lucky, he's awful and blah, blah, blah. Ice water is flowing though his icy cold veins or something odd like that Matt Hardy is so bland.
#1 Contender's Tournament for the X-Division Championship: Max Buck vs. Amazing Red vs. Chris Sabin
Kazarian at commentary.
I hope Amazing Red wins, because he isn't The Miz and he's awesome. Bad analogy, okay, I thought so too. Either way, Red is great, maybe management is back behind him.
I believe Sabin is hurt, or is that Shelley? It must of happened after this was taped.
I'm not covering the moves, because it's way too fast for me.
Winner: Max Buck
So much for that Amazing Red push!
The Jarrett's argue. Karen caught Angle on the phone. Jeff says it's a conspiracy theory. Why would Jeff Jarrett defend Angle.
Jeff Hardy's on his way, he has something on his mind!
*Commercial Break*
Velvet Sky is sick of that b*tch. Evidently Winter attacked Sky. That's an angry woman!
Video package on Mr. Anderson, who cares. Can we get over 10/10/10, I mean this happened four months ago?
Jeff Hardy and his emo music, here we go.
He's troubled by you people! Your a bunch of marks and Internet junkies, you don't care about him! He talks about something that happened four months ago at Bound For Glory.
Seven days away from Jeff getting his title back. When he wins, he going to shove it up all your, yep that place. Mr, Anderson interrupts and confronts Hardy. Says he sounds like Charlie Brown's mother and he complains too much. Anderson says he will win and still be Total Nonstop A**hole Champion... champion. Jeff Hardy is indeed speechless, Taz.
*Commercial Break*
Crimson is backstage and says he got an offer and next week we get to see who that offer came from. Abyss is evidently in bad shape after getting impaled in the back by Janice. No kidding.
Velvet Sky has words for Winter, a lot of words that couldn't be said on WWE Programing.
Winter's music is quite disturbing. They brawl outside the Impact Zone. Sky is in control but Winter snaps. She is now on top of Sky. Here is Angelina Love who knocks Winter off Sky. Love asks Winter to leave and she does.
DeAngelo Dinero is on his way to the ring and has something to say, next!
*Commercial Break*
Here comes The Pope! Is it me, or does he look exactly like Kofi Kingston?
Pope is going to confess! Is he a heel now? He talks about how the people would never do this and he is better than everybody else, above thinking. Yep, he's a heel. He gets on his knees, stands up and says "Joe, I don't like you!" Takes more shots at the crowd. He's going to give a person in the congregation a chance to change for the better, or something alone those lines.
The Pope has spoken!
Ric Flair gives Immortal a motivational speech. Immortal leaves and then Eric Young and Flair have some comedy. Young is still carrying the old TNA Championship around because he is the champ, right? Ehh.. Maybe not.
*Commercial Break*
Dixie Carter joins Tenay and Taz on the phone.
Dixie is confident that she'll get her company back and her court date is next Thursday.
Bischoff takes shots at Dixie Carter. He says Jeff Hardy is getting the title back and Hogan will be back in TNA. He claims the "they" thing is wishful thinking.
Mr. Anderson vs. Matt Hardy, next!
*Commercial Break*
Non-Title Match: TNA World Champion Mr. Anderson vs. Matt Hardy
Taz says there are no positives for Mr. Anderson? How about beating Matt Hardy.
As many people that cry Matt Hardy is a main-eventer, it doesn't seem like TNA thinks so. The guy is in the same spot he was in during 2008 while with the WWE: the upper mid-card.
Hardy is singling out Anderson's arm. He's now setting up for the Twist of Hate before Anderson reverses. Anderson attempts the Mic Check but Hardy hits the Side Effect.
Anderson some how rolls Hardy up, seemed like a rushed match.
Winner: Mr. Anderson
Anderson heads down the ramp before Jeff attacks him. Two on one beatdown until RVD makes the save.
Angle and Crimson on their way to the ring and Angle claims they won't be alone out there.
*Commercial Break*
Kurt Angle and Crimson vs. Jeff Jarrett, Beer Money, Gunner, Murphy, Kazarian, Rob Terry, Kazarian
Jeff Jarrett isn't in the ring as Tenay and Taz mention.
Robert Roode with the upper hand over Crimson early on. Crimson takes control with a suplex and a near fall. Angle tags in, Roode takes control and tags James Storm. Storm with a flurry of offense and accidentally kick the referee. They triple team each guy and here comes Jeff Jarrett. Karen Jarrett looks nervous.
Jarrett smirks and lifts Angle up until Kurt hits the belly-to-back suplex, before getting pounced by Immortal. Complete beatdown. The referee gets up and Jarrett pins Angle.
Winners: Immortal
The beatdown continues. Crimson is still down outside the ring. Here comes Matt Morgan! He is quickly swarmed and brought down.
Police sirens go off and it's.... Scott Steiner? He has a pipe and clears Immortal from the ring. Impact goes off the air with Steiner acknowledging Kurt Angle.
I knew Steiner's return was eminent as I saw the spoiler, although I thought it was next week. Does TNA really need him? It seems as if the Main Event Mafia will lead Dixie Carter in her charge to regain control of TNA. Will there be anymore returns of former Mafia members? I guess we'll have to wait and see.
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