Andy Reid: Constantly Butchering Linebackers Since 1999

Hey Andy, can we get a linebacker?!?!

Hey, Andy! The linebacker! We want one now! The linebacker!

What is he doing? I never know what he’s doing back there.

He’s probably going to tell us Kevin Kolb will definitely be back next year and then definitely trade him one week later.

Or maybe he will think of ways to tell us the Eagles don’t have glaring weaknesses on defense, most notably at linebacker.

Oh, wait. We hear that every year. And yet every year goes by without Reid either drafting or signing a big-name linebacker.

We’ll just plug in Stewart Bradley or Moise Foku and expect everything to be hunky-dory.

Besides, teams don’t actually use linebackers as a way to build successful teams.

I mean out of the six Pro Bowl starters this year, three of them will be on display in the Conference Championship games this weekend.

Pittsburgh’s James Harrison, Green Bay’s Clay Matthews, and Chicago’s Brian Urlacher will be roaming the middle of the field, pursuing quarterbacks, and finding a way to make game-changing plays with their respective teams on the door step of the Super Bowl.

Foku and Bradley will be roaming South Philly looking for a place to get pizza, wings, and a place to watch the game.

Outside of the incredible talent possessed by the Pro Bowlers mentioned above they also have something else in common. They have all spent their entire career with their respective teams.

Brian Urlacher was drafted with the ninth overall pick in 2000 by Chicago, Harrison was signed as an undrafted free agent in 2002 by Pittsburgh, and Matthews was selected with the 26th overall pick in 2009 by Green Bay.

Oddly enough all of those picks occurred during Reid’s watch.

To keep things fair, let’s take a look at the stellar list of linebackers selected by your head football coach. The number in parentheses indicates the round the player was selected followed by the year.

Barry Gardner (2, ‘99), Quinton Caver (2, ‘01), Tyreo Harrison (6, ’02), Matt McCoy (2, ’05), David Bergeron (7, ’05), Chris Gocong (3, ’06), Omar Gaither (5, ’06), Stewart Bradlye (3, ’07), Bryan Smith (3, ’08), Joe Mays (6, ’08), Andy Studebaker (6, ’08), Moise Foku (7, ’09), Keenan Clayton (4, ’10), Jamar Chayney (7, 10).

To his credit though, Reid was able to sign Carlos Emmons, who was by far the best free agent to start for the Eagles at linebacker. If you want to toss in Jeremiah Trotter as well I will give it to you even though Reid initially let him walk.

Inept stiffs that played at linebacker included Mark Simoneau, Dhani Jones, Levon Kirkland, and Nate Wayne.

Outside of Trotter not one Eagles linebacker made a Pro Bowl.

It’s okay though. We’ll just sit in our recliners, wearing our robe and shouting over our shoulder, “Andy! The linebacker!”