College Football: Why I Love the Georgia Bulldogs—Satire

Satire (n) 1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc. Even

Recently, I have come under attack because I can only write negative articles about Auburn University.

Apparently, people took my last article way too seriously when I wrote about the reasons I love Auburn, which you can read here.

The fact is, I attend the University of Georgia, and I bleed red and black.

I called Auburn out on integrity, honor, character and credibility. The truth of the matter is that almost every single college athletic program lacks those characteristics.

The bottom line is that college athletics, in particular college football, is a very corrupt business.

So I decided to write a similar type article about why I love the Georgia Bulldogs.

Why do I love Georgia?

I love Mike Bobo.

I love the fact that 11 felons standing around at UGA is called a huddle.

I love the fact that we have had top five NFL talent, but have failed to reach the SEC Championship Game in the last couple years.

I love Mark Richt and his calm demeanor.

I love that we can't fire head coaches because the Athletic Director is in his first year.

I love the fact that we can point back to what Richt did years ago for why we should keep him.

I love the fact that we have to use black helmets or black jerseys as a gimmick to help win games.

I love spelling dogs: "dawgs."

I love having top-5 talent, but not a top-5 team.

I loved all the 12 o'clock games last year, when the student section was half empty.

I love the fact that we lost to a C-USA team in a bowl game.

I love that our football players think they can drive with a suspended license.

I love the fact that we haven't played a meaningful game since 2007.

I love our 6-7 record this past season.

I love the fact that after we score a touchdown in the first quarter, our entire team runs out onto the field.

I love how tough it is to play in Sanford Stadium.

I love our 3-18 record against Florida since 1990.

I love our Athletic Director getting arrested for a DUI and having red panties in his lap.

I love the smell of East Campus.

I love the fact that in Mark Richt's 11th year, he will finally start focusing on football more.

I love the fact that our student section is divided into three sections.

I love Mark Richt as head coach, so that we can continue to lose to Florida.

I love the fact that we can't recruit our own in-state talent and seeing them go off to Auburn, Alabama, Florida and Tennessee.

I love our offensive play calling.

I love more players arrests than victories.

I love the fact that our star player sold an Independence Bowl jersey for $1,000 dollars.

I love the fact that the University of Georgia's "Dream Team" is going to play football at Auburn and Alabama.

I love winning the Fulmer Cup.

I love running screens when it is 3rd-and-goal from the 10-yard line.

I love the fact that mediocrity is accepted at the University of Georgia.

I love the fact that I can actually write an article criticizing my University.

I also have a deep affection for other SEC schools, click on the team name for why I love them:

Auburn Tigers, Alabama Crimson Tide