Top 15 Funniest Basketball Quotes

ThomasSenior Writer ISeptember 13, 2008

This week, in my continuing "Top 15 Funniest Quotes," I take on basketball. I don't know about you, but basketball is no longer about the actual sport, now it's about entertainment. Here's the top 15 quotes I could find in no particular order. If you have any more to share, feel free to do so. Enjoy!

15. "What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?"—Woody Allen

14. "They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds."—Wilt Chamberlain

13. "Fans never fall asleep at our games, because they're afraid they might get hit by a pass."—George Raveling

12. "If I weren’t earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming."—Charles Barkley

11. "Basketball doesn’t build character. It reveals it."—Unknown

10. "The invention of basketball was not an accident.It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play “Drop the Handkerchief.”—James Naismith

9. "These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it."—Charles Barkley

8. "I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA."—Shaquille O'Neal

7.  "There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket."  - Abe Lemons

6. "We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors."—Weldon Drew

5. "Any time Detroit scores more than a hundred points and holds the other team below a hundred points, they almost always win."—Doug Collins

4. "I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either."—Dave Barry

3. "The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy." - Jerry Tarkanian

2.  "Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up."—Bill Vaughn

1. "You don't play against opponents, you play against the game of basketball."—Bobby Knight

For those of you interested in my first two articles in this series, here they are.

Week 1: The Funny Side Of Golf: Top 15 Golf Quotes

Week 2: Top 15 Funniest Quotes from Soccer Players, Managers, and Commentators