A One-Night Stand with the USC Trojans

"Collision in the Coliseum." This is what ESPN has dubbed tomorrow’s Ohio State-USC game. But if there’s one thing that’s clear, nobody outside of Buckeye Nation wants Ohio State to win.

Forget about who you think will win, who do you want to win? Thankfully for most fans, who they think will win and who they want to win is the same team—USC.

Not because of love for USC, but hate for Ohio State. To many college football fans, this is the year those stinking Buckeyes get what they deserve.

You can hear the vitriol all over their lips, and it’s quite ridiculous. Here are some of the phrases of the typical Buckeye hater...

Statement: “The Buckeye’s backed into the last two national championship games!”

Response: In 2006, OSU was the only undefeated team from a BCS conference (Boise State was also undefeated). Before the championship game, the debate was not over the Buckeyes, it was between Florida and Michigan for No. 2.

Ohio State surely didn’t back into the championship game; let’s not rewrite history

Statement: “The Buckeye’s can’t win the 'Big Game!'”

Response: Ohio State coach Jim Tressel is 4-3 in bowl games and 3-2 in BCS bowls. Further, Ohio State is 6-1 against arch-rival Michigan under Tressel. However, Ohio State’s entire reputation has been judged on two loses. If the Buckeyes had won just one of those games (against Florida in '07 or LSU in '08) they would be looked at in a totally different light.

Plus, is Ohio State the only school to get blasted in a bowl game? Certainly not, here are a few examples:

1996 Fiesta Bowl: Nebraska 62, Florida 24
1997 Fiesta Bowl: Penn State 38, Texas 15
1997 Sugar Bowl: Florida 52, Florida State 20
1998 Orange Bowl: Nebraska 42, Tennessee 17
 2001 Fiesta Bowl: Oregon State 41, Notre Dame 9
 2002 Rose Bowl: Miami (FL) 37, Nebraska 14
 2003 Rose Bowl: Oklahoma 34, Washington State 14
 2005 Orange Bowl: USC 55, Oklahoma 19

So why does everyone want Ohio State to lose this game? Well, it’s because if the Buckeyes win, we all know that they’ll be back in the title game for a third straight season. Heaven forbid!

There’s no way the Buckeyes are one of the top two teams again! They’ve had their chance, right? There’s no way that this year’s team is any different from last year, or the year before! We don’t need to see Ohio State play any more games; we already know what will happen!

As a matter of fact, we should just cancel Ohio State’s season and mark a ‘W’ when they play a Big Ten team and an ‘L’ if they play an SEC team. Let’s just mark an ‘L’ for the USC game, as well. Ohio State has no chance in that game; USC cannot be beaten. USC is like 100-0 in their last 99 games.

Saturday’s matchup is more like a presidential debate than a football game. You’ve already made up your mind on who you’re voting for. If Ohio State wins, it won’t be because they're good; it’ll be because they got "lucky." If they lose, well, you knew they stunk anyway, so losing will just confirm your preconceived notion. Why do you even need to watch? 

Well, you’ll watch because you want to see Ohio State suffer! So, Buckeye Haters, on 9/13 regardless who you normally root for, you can join college football fans nationwide in a one-night stand with the Trojans. Fight On!