NFL Notes: First Sunday Sights

Somehow, Norv Turner, especially early in the season and in the playoffs, manages to always snatch defeat from the jaws of victory...

The Rams are a listless mess. No signs of life. QB Marc Bulger is not long for the pocket this year, and Coach Linehan not long for the St Lou sideline...And if the NFL really wants a team in L.A., the Rams are not long for Missouri either...

Or maybe it will be the L.A. Bills, if the Canadians don't steal them first...

The Los Angeles Steelers, now that'd be a shocker, but stranger things have happened in Cleveland and Baltimore. The Rooneys have money issues, divided ownership, and the bidding is always is open on everyone.

The odds of the Steelers going to LA LA Land are about as good as the Lions or Cardinals winning the Super Bowl. More like the L.A. Vikings, the L.A. Raiders the return, or the L.A. Rams the sequel. Los Angeles loves sequels.

The Texans' offense showed no improvement; the offensive line is as bad as when QB David Carr was beaten into submission. Willie Parker shredded the supposedly improved defense.

Don't drink and draft, you could end up taking Julie Jones over Michael Turner...Course Turner won't play the Lions every week, and Maurice Morris's blow out wheel might make Jones run...

Me knows a man who drafted Tom Brady and no backups on fantasy draft day...thanks for the $220 contribution, buddy...and he was sober.

Memo to Jon Kitna, likely banging his thick head against a brick wall while saying, "Stupid, stupid, stupid, you ain't Bobby Layne." Layne was good he could scream at his teammates and get results...

Speaking of the same old Lions...They could use "Night Train" Lane, even dead he could cover better than the guys the Lions got...

Is Gisele licking Tom Brady's wounds? The ACL tear will throw New England into a deep depression...

Will the Brady injury finally take Favre's face off every pregame show?

If Favre had waited a while, he'd be on his way to New England now...Does Bill need a Rex-Aid? A Rex Grossman?

When was the last time two rookie QBs won their opening-day starts on the same day? Cheers guys...

What is in worse condition: the Detroit Lions or Ford Motor Company? What do they have in common?

The Bengals are insane for turning down a first-round draft pick for Ocho Cinco Loco...and the Bengals are "the Bungles" once again.

KO'd QBs Brady, Vince Young, and Brodie Croyle...three out of the 26 that started so far...

Braylon Edwards could not catch today...Why do WRs wear Arctic explorer gloves?

The Browns looked overrated and unprepared.

Jeff Fisher steals some games from superior teams by playing good defense and designing an offense that is limited to outs and screens, since the light has not come on for Vince Young..

Del Rio is too conservative...He's in the mold of Marty Schottenheimer.

It's only one game, but Jim Zorn might be in over his head.

The Seahawks' WRs are depleted...the offense listless. Perhaps Holmgren stayed a year too long...or else the Bills are really good.

Hard running Titan RB Chris Johnson is gonna be a good one...and the Panthers' rookie Stewart runs hard.

The Favre-favoring, Gotham-press inspired, national pressure is being felt in the Pack front office and in the belly of Aaron Rodgers.

Terrible time management by the Browns, using key timeouts in the second half when losing and taking a FG shot with 10 minutes to go and down three scores?

Can bulky Brian Baldinger skip the snide politico commentary? Fans watch the games to get away from that, and who really cares what an ex-jock thinks? 

Can the Fox crew of Goose, Albert, and Johnston ever be quiet...just for an instant?

Sideline reporters are mostly useless fluff, which take away from the action.

How many cheese steaks did the Goose gobble up in Philly? Over and under of eight..

ESPN has become incredibly annoying...and most every studio show group goes into fits of convulsive laughter every time one of them tells a lame scripted joke?

The Southwest Airlines Janus-faced-airline-worker commercial was funny. Can Peyton Manning make any more commercials? 

Are defenders allowed to tackle Peyton Manning or has the NFL put a stop to touching Manning?

One of the most brutal beatings a QB ever received was the one Peyton's Poppa, Archie, got from the vicious 1984 Chicago Bears. Old Arch was wrapping up his career as a Viking, and Buddy Ryan mercilessly unloaded on the gimpy-legged ex-Saint, sacking him 11 times...

How many more cop criminal movies can De Niro and Pacino make; waving pistols and wearing leather jackets with old Rolling Stones tunes blaring on the advertisement?

Why is the wide-receiver position piled so high with jackasses?

Are the Patriots even a wild-card team, sans Brady? Favre's and Tom Jones time to steal the division? Or the brutal Buffalo Bills'?

The refs are still thoroughly inconsistent and sometimes just incompetent.

Why do QBs waste all of their second-half timeouts so quickly?

The bad teams this year are going to be very, very bad...

And the bad so far are: the Rams, Texans, Chiefs, 'Niners, Bengals, and the Dolphins....the Texans might get better, the Rams will get worse...

Chris Simms is leaving on a jet plane for New England, and he won't be coming back to the Bay again...But is Drew Bledsoe in shape?

Welcome to the NFL, Matt Forte, says Bob Sanders with a vicious crack...but Forte looks like a fine find.

Hats off to Lovie Smith...his Bears look physical, mean, and opportunistic again.

If the Bears had a healthy Tommie Harris and S Mike Brown in the Super Bowl, they'd have beaten the Colts, even with "Happy Feet" Grossman being a turnover machine...

Prepare for a week, nay, a season, of Brady blitz from the media...and, of course, the constant Favre babble... 

Mike Shanahan stole Al Davis's mojo and Al wants it back...

Strangest quote...Dan Dierdorf on Bill Belichick.

"Bill Belichick feels like a chipmunk is in his stomach and is trying to chew its way out."

Which begs the question: Does Dierdorf eat live chipmunks?