Missouri Prepares for Week 2 Game against SEMO

Seriously, this game is damn near impossible to get jacked for. I realize that we just played a good Illannoy team, but this is like coming off a cocaine high and snorting Fun Dip; there's nothing to it, but it's still there to pass the time. Either way, here's the Indians Redhawks preview.

-SEMO sucks. As True Son elegantly put it in the podcast "SEMO barely beat a winless D-II team in Southern Baptist. They are terrible." Good enough for me. SEMO sucks worse than that time I had to get a tetanus shot because that dog bit me in my human bubble gum.

-Since SEMO is so bad, expect Chase & Co to be out mid-third quarter at the latest. Chase won't have ginormous stats because, well, he's playing basically half of a game! We can expect 250 yards at least, but that will probably be close to halftime.

Derrick Washington and Jimmy Jackson should get a bulk of the work, and get ready for the De'Vion Moore show. Dude has some expectations, and he looked good in the spring game. This will be his breakout game.

-Keep an eye on the corners. Castine Bridges and Carl Gettis didn't look great against the Illini, but should against these fake Indians. If they don't, watch for a hook.

-Couple other things to watch for: DaNario Alexander may make a Jesus-walking-on-water kinda miracle recovery and play this week. There was talk of DA medical redshirting after blowing two ACLs in the off season, and now we're talking about him coming back in the second game!

Jeremy Maclin will play, but keep an eye on any limpage. It's not the same kind of limpage that Sleezy gets and blames on too many wine coolers, but instead, Maclin's ankle.

Also, as True Son pointed out in the podcast, we will find out if Pinkel is redshirting Blaine Gabbert this week. We both agreed that BG should be fitted for a redshirt, and Chase Patton deserves all the snaps the guy can get, but SEMO should be the one game that if he's going to play, Gabbert does.

While I don't expect a complete shutout, since I imagine their first-string O will be going against the third-string Tiger D at some points, expect a blowout. I'm going with 52-9 Tigers.

Chase Patton throws for at least a pair of TDs and Derrick Washington and Jimmy Jackson BOTH get over 125 yards rushing. The second half will go by quickly, so if you're sneaking booze into the stadium, you don't need a lot. You'll be back out in the lot in time to get housed before Harpos. Copious amounts of Victory Whiskey will be devoured.

The game is on Pay-Per-View, and if you shell out the $30, you're a god in my eyes. It's a Kelly and Kadlac weekend for me as I move the Mizzourah Omaha offices to Knoxville, TN. You can click HERE to listen to the game. Our friends at Rock M Nation will have an open thread for any Mizzou/boozing/tailgating/bold predictions.