Are You Ready for Some Football?

Hello once again from the wide world of sports. Yes, football season has just started and maybe one day I will get to finish my AFC Preview (probably, not because I am just too lazy to analyze the remaining 16 teams).

However, with the NY Football Giants effectively embarrassing the Washington Redskins Thursday night in East Rutherford, I would like to present you with the 10 most compelling story lines for the upcoming season and my thought provoking/dead-on/genius analysis.

1. What Will Brett Favre Do in Jets Green?

Nobody really knows what to expect from Favre. Will he be the Brett from last year when he led the Packers to a 13-3 record with a berth in the NFC Championship game or the gunslinger from 2005 and 2006 who had a 38:47 TD to INT ratio and looked more finished than grandma’s overcooked Christmas turkey?

I believe he will be a mixture of the two. The Jets will be better, maybe even compete for a playoff spot, but nothing really beyond that. And really, it's not what he does during the season, it's what he does after that is important for the Brett Favre Network (ESPN).

2. Can Aaron Rodgers Lead the Packers to the Playoffs?

Ladies and gentleman, yes he can! Aaron Rodgers, if you remember, was a pretty good quarterback at Cal and was expected to be a top 10 pick. He then fell to the Packers and was lucky enough to rot on the bench for a few years until he was ready.

Well, he is now ready. Look for the mountain man to put up good numbers this year as he leads the Packers back to the NFC Championship game.

3. Can the Patriots Go Unbeaten Again This Season?

No. I cannot be more emphatic in my answer. I have always believed in Karma and I trust that the football gods are going to seek revenge on the New England Patriots for running up the score and cheating their way to glory.

They are still the best team in the AFC East, but the gap has closed significantly. And let's be honest, this team is a ticking time bomb. Let's look at the checklist: Head coach with an over-inflated ego (check!), celebrity QB (check!), aging defense (check), and one crazy drama-driven receiver (check!).

The Giants exposed the Patriots in the Super Bowl for having an offensive line that was prone to pressure. And this rattled Tom Brady. I think teams are going to realize that giving him time to pick you apart is a bad idea.

As long as teams limit Brady's throws to underneath routes to the tight ends and Wes Welker, the Patriots are beatable, because this team is one-dimensional on offense (paging Laurence Maroney).

Also, Randy Moss is a head case waiting to explode. Once he stops catching all of those touchdown passes, he is going to go into crazy Randy Moss mode. I can’t wait to see/hear/read Bill Simmons crying about the downfall of the Patriots (and Sports guy, how about you write about something other than your Boston teams? I thought you were supposed to be a national columnist).

4. Will the Cowboys Actually Win a Playoff Game This Year?

No, they won’t. Tony Romo, despite being a nice quarterback, doesn’t seem to have the testicular fortitude to will his team to a tough late season victory.

The Cowboys have the greatest collection of talent south of the Mason-Dixon line, and yet they assume that because they are so good, they should just be handed the championship. Gentlemen, you must earn this trophy. That is why teams who play hard every game win it (the Steelers and Giants come to mind).

They will be good again, but they just aren’t tough enough to win games in the playoffs.

5. Will the New Orleans Saints Turn Into the 2006 Saints Because of Hurricane Gustav?

I think the better question is will the Saints home field be under attack every hurricane season and force them to turn into football nomads? I believe the Saints will be much better this year.

I really like their skill position players and their division is up for grabs. They will probably have a season similar to the 2006 post-Katrina season, so, yes, they will turn into the 2006 Saints.

6. Why Are the Giants Getting No Respect after Winning the Super Bowl Last Year?

Because everyone thought that last year was a fluke. That they were lucky to be there. However, they proved them wrong but are still getting the same treatment this season.

This year the experts see the loss of Michael Strahan to retirement and Osi Umenyiora to injury are too great to overcome. I say hogwash. This team is loaded at running back and the defensive line.

Eli Manning is ready to make a jump to elite status and Plaxico Burress is a top five wide receiver. By the end of the season, the pundits will all be saying how the Giants came out of nowhere again this year. Maybe then they will stop underestimating the number one team from New York.

7. Will Any Teams Flirt With Losing All 16 Games?

Yes, and those teams will be the Falcons, Dolphins, Ravens, and Rams. Each of these teams has glaring holes and so many issues that I could not possibly name them all, so I will just name one from each team.

The Falcons and Ravens are starting rookie quarterbacks (more on that later) who are going to wish they had never been drafted. St. Louis has one of the worst head coaches of all time in Scott Linehan, and the Dolphins just plain suck.

Now, if any of you have watched the show, this past episode, I called my colleague Justin Fensterman an idiot (among many other things) because he said the Dolphins had a chance at making the playoffs. Theoretically, yes they do, but in reality, where most of us live, they have no chance in hell in winning more than four games this year.

None of these teams will win more than five games this year and the Falcons and Dolphins will battle it out again for the title as the worst team in all of football.

8. Which Rookie Quarterback Is Going to Have a Better Season: Matt Ryan or Joe Flacco?

While neither of these players is going to be very good this year, I believe that Matt Ryan is going to have a better year statistically, and Joe Flacco will win one or two more games (I know, I’m taking the middle ground, sorry).

Both are going to throw more interceptions than touchdowns and have a completion percentage around 55 percent. Matt Ryan also has better receivers (Roddy White is better than all of the Ravens' wideouts put together) and Michael “Burner” Turner is going to have a breakout year. He is in a better position to play a little better than Flacco right now. Long term, let's just hope they don’t develop David Carr Syndrome.

9. How Much Will Peyton Manning’s Removed Bursa Sac Affect His Game?

I don’t really know because I’m not much of a medical guy. But if he says he is fine, I am going to take his word for it.

I think that he is the best quarterback in the game and I am still picking him in fantasy drafts. What concerns me more about the Colts is the injury bug that still hasn’t left them. Now Jeff Saturday, their All-Pro center, is out and it's going to be tough to replace him.

However, Peyton will be fine and I look forward to the Colts reclaiming their status as the class of the AFC.

10. How Crazy is Chad Ocho Cinco?

Britney Spears Crazy. Who changes their name from Chad Johnson to Chad Ocho Cinco?

He has gone into the deep end. But I feel bad for him. He obviously does not have the psyche to withstand the daily pressures of playing football and being held to certain expectations.

There was a reason the Bengals didn’t trade him this summer: Nobody wanted his crazy ass on their team. The only team that did want him would only have taken him if he changed his last name to Jones to fit in with the rest of the roster. Folks, stay away from Chad Ocho Cinco. He is crazy!

BONUS LIGHTNING ROUND:

1. Rex Grossman or Kyle Orton: Which one is starting in mid-season? Kyle Orton.

2. Will Wade Phillips lose his job after this season? Yes.

3. Playoff Picks? AFC: Patriots, Cleveland, Indy, San Diego, Jacksonville, and Pittsburgh. NFC: Cowboys, Packers, Saints, Arizona, Giants, and Eagles.

4. Championship Picks: AFC: Indy over Jacksonville. NFC: Packers over Giants

5. Super Bowl Pick: Colts over Packers

6. Will Brett Favre retire at the end of the year? Undoubtedly.