A Joke About Gigli (and Tiago)

Anyone who has ever seen Ben Affleck and J-Lo’s classically pitiful cinematic plutonium bomb, Gigli, knows that its one of the worst movies ever painfully recorded on film.

It’s so bad, it makes Affleck’s horrible holiday follow up, Surviving Christmas, look like It’s a Wonderful Life.

Gigli is the punch line for many, many jokes. It’s universally regarded as perhaps the most abhorrent waste of money the film industry has ever seen. It’s Hindenburg bad. It’s Costner bad. It’s possibly worse than some tropical diseases bad. Just ask Affleck. Even he’ll tell you.

I have a joke for you about Gigli though…

What’s the only thing worse than having to sit on your ass for an hour watching Gigli?  

How about just sitting on your ass period because you’re locked in a bathroom…

Oh, and if your name is Gigli, so American people are always bringing up that shitty movie…

Giovanni Cobolli Gigli, chairman of Juventus, was locked in a bathroom by one of his players. One of the most powerful men in Italian football, a king among executives, was forced to sit on an uncomfortable throne for over an hour by one of his more temperamental employees.

Who was the culprit?

Portugese midfielder Tiago.

Tiago reportedly locked the club’s chairman in the bathroom because he was upset about possibly being loaned to a team (Everton) that wouldn’t play in this year’s Champions League.

Apparently Tiago really wanted to play in the Champion’s League, which is interesting if you consider how poorly he performed for Juventus last season.

Tiago is clearly insane with his desire to play in the Champion’s League though. Which is really funny because he certainly didn’t want to earn his way there. He didn’t score any of the goals that got them there (in fact, he hasn’t scored for Juventus yet).

But he does have goals, like to play in the Champion’s League for instance. He’s funny.

Definitely crazy.

But, I do like his style. He’s a go-getter that Tiago, that’s for sure.

Alessandro Del Piero eventually freed Giovanni after he heard him yelling from another room. The week prior to the incident, the 33-year-old Del Piero had announced he would play at Juve until he’s 40.

I’m betting Gigli will make sure that he does too. He owes Del Piero now; the man saved him from the pooper. Plus, if Del Piero doesn’t want to go, he can always just put the President back there again.

As disgusting as that all sounds, I’d still rather watch it all go down than be forced to watch Gigli again.