The Five Most Irreplaceable Premier League Footballers

As the Premier League season’s third weekend closes, fans are left with much to ponder…

£6 million for Luke Young? WTF

How many Zaki Bombs will Wigan be treated to this season? How much profit will they reap off of him next summer?

After Mido’s tantrum, is it any wonder he and Hossam Ghaly are best friends?

Whatever happened to Hossam Ghaly?

On the topic of former White Hart Lane stars, how long until Ledley King’s knee finally falls off?

£6 million for Luke Young? Hahahaha!

Not every player is a wreck, though. Here I present the five most valuable players in the Premier League, the five players who would be the hardest to replace in the event of injury. Not the best, not the most expensive, mind you, but you get the point.

5) Roque Santa Cruz – Take a look at Blackburn’s roster. How the eff did they finish seventh last season!? David Bentley certainly helped. But without Santa Cruz’s 19 goals in 36 Premier League games and the attention he drew from defenses, Blackburn might’ve faced a relegation scare. We might find out how Blackburn cope without him if Manchester United don’t solve their striker quandary by January.

4) Joleon Lescott – Everton are scary thin throughout the squad, especially at the back where Lescott played well enough to win the club’s Player of the Year award last season. The loss of his eight Premier League goals and steady defending could well leave Everton extremely vulnerable if Cahill and Arteta can’t stay healthy this season. Bottom six vulnerable, perhaps.

3) Cesc Fabregas – While an injury to him would make Arsenal exponentially more likeable, and be hilarious because he would undoubtedly cry for days afterwards, Arsenal can ill afford to lose their fulcrum/poster-boy after seeing Hleb and Flamini depart already this offseason. Of course, I would have thought the losses of Henry and Vieira would’ve hurt them worse.

2) Ricardo Carvalho – No way he’s more valuable than JT? Read this. Over the last two seasons, Chelsea has gained almost a point more per game with Carvalho, than without him. They’ve actually been worse with Terry in the line-up than when he played. Shocking… Carvalho does the little things to get into opponents heads. Wayne Rooney can attest to that.

1) Cristiano Ronaldo – The most talented player in the world, the most effective last season, and the leader of the best team, we’ll find out how much Manchester United misses him while he nurses an ankle injury. Here’s guessing hair gel and goals will be hard to find at Old Trafford without No. 7.