Fantasy Football Week 13: Larry Fitzgerald Will Outperform These Studs

After giving thanks and stuffing your carcass with stuffing, you may be feeling too stuffed to do any fantasy coaching this week. Fear not, bloated ones, as I, your faithful adviser and fantasy nut, will do the picking for you. If you’re one of the lucky guys who own WR Larry Fitzgerald of the Cardinals or TE Joel Dreessen of the Texans, I’ll make it easy for you—start em’.

Larry’s No Mary

In week 13, Larry has a great matchup at home against the St. Louis Rams. After getting Krispy-Kremed by San Francisco 49ers’ offense of second stringers (did you see the trolley mow through the Cardinal’s defensive front?), the Cardinals will be playing angry, or at least QB Derek Anderson will. If you don’t believe me, check out his last interview.

The fact that I’m highlighting one of 2009’s top five wide receivers is a testament to how low he's fallen. I can almost bet all communications leading to Kurt Warner are “out of service” due to an overflow of messages from Fitzy. Larry should rise like the phoenix this week, however, since the Rams don’t have the talent to pressure the quarterback, meaning Anderson will get a number of passes close enough to Larry’s body for him to make completions and touchdowns.

I estimate between 60 -100 yard and 1-2 TDs for Mr. Fitzgerald.

Here are the wide receivers I would start Larry over:

1) Calvin Johnson—That’s right. I wrote it. Big and brass, mine are. Chicago’s pass defense is nothing to laugh at.

2) Percy Harvin—It’s just too easy to run on the Bills, and the Vikings own RB Adrian Peterson. Plus WR Sydney Rice is reestablishing himself in the offense.

3) Anquan Boldin—QB Joe Flacco has been looking at Boldin like a third option. Even Housh got more yardage last game. Do you expect things to change Week 13 against the Steelers?

4) Miles Austin—Why would I pick Larry over such talent? Easy. Dez is Kitna’s darling. Although Austin scored big fantasy points last week, they came from a 60 yard rushing touchdown on a trick play. I don’t expect that happening every week.

5) Darrius Heyward-Bey & Chris Chambers (Combined)—Just for fun.

6) Bernard Berrian—I don’t care if he’s injured. I add him because I can. You gonna stop me?

Joel’s in Control

Joel Dreessen’s situation is fairly easy to sum up. Philadelphia Eagles’ CB Asante Samuel will make his return Thursday, meaning better coverage on wide receivers. Opportunity knocks for Dreessen. The Eagles rank 28th for FFPTS allowed to tight ends, so Dreessen could repeat last week’s performance with more yardage.

I would start Joel over these tight ends:

1) Ben Watson—This hot and cold tight end should be chilly playing the Dolphins, who are 3^rd for FFPTS allowed to tight ends. 

2) Chris Cooley—Same as the Ben Watson situation, except the Giants register at fifth for FFPTS allowed to tight ends.

The Bet 

If I'm wrong about Larry or Joel outperforming these guys, next week I'll cradle one of those mini bowling balls over my lap with a wet Bounty paper towel for one minute, but if I’m right you’ll have personal knowledge as to whether Bounty paper towels are REALLY as sturdy as the commercials say they are.

About Me, Wendell "Papa Smurf" Gaymon

I’m not really a little, blue, hairless, half-naked leprechaun who lives in a decked out mushroom. I’m an average Joe like you, who spends his eight hours of sleep obsessing over this game we call Fantasy Football. You’ll find I’m a bit off-kilter with my picks, but I think that’s how you win best—picking the best players with the best matchups.