HEY VINCE! TAG ME IN! 10 WAYS I'LL SAVE YOUR BORING PATHETIC COMPANY!

I keep telling myself and other wrestling fans to be patient, to give WWE a chance to see this transition period through.  But after months and months of stale, boring, un-entertaining, corny storylines and characters, I have to step in.  

WWE - Your ratings are steadily declining, you losing PPV buys, and merchandise sales continue to drop.  Your fans are bored and tired of waiting for you to begin entertaining us again.  The only reason we haven't all completely switched 100% to TNA is because they are in worse shape creatively than you, although they have the talent to destroy you.   You've taken your loyal fans for granted, and you've made the assumption that you are always going to be around because your fans will always be around.   Well let me tell you that I am now seriously questioning why I give so much time of my week to watching your pathetic programming.   I am ready to find something new, unless you can turn it around.....

HOW?

1.  FEUDS and MEANINGFUL STORYLINES from top to bottom - If Survivor Series 2010 taught us anything, it's that WWE still knows  how to build up a long term storyline.  The main event between Nexus, John Cena, and Randy Orton has been brewing for months, and I absolutely was tuned in, just to see that finale.  Perhaps I should rephrase :  I was tuned in ONLY to see that finale.  I had ZERO interest in every other match on the card.  WWE began the Daniel Bryan - Ted Dibiase feud one week before the ppv, with only a run-in at the end of the match and a tweet by @wwe!?!?!  You've had Bryan facing random opponents for the past month with no motive!  Why didn't you have the Dibiase run-in weeks ago, and give them some time to feud and develop this story on TV before the ppv match?!?!?!  

We had Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio which has been stewing longer than a 45 year old virgin at a booby bar.  GREAT!  But what about the other 8 guys in the match.  Top stars like Jack Swagger, MVP, Tyler Reks, all thrust into a match which they have no interest in, and they are all eliminated.  At least let one of the new guys get the pin - they need a win more than the BIG BORING SHOW!  Better yet, use jobbers like JTG and Carlito for these matches if you're just going to have BIG SHOW squash everyone.  Use the future stars like Kofi and Reks and Swagger and MVP in their own meaningful matches.

The point is, you're putting them on TV every week anyway, why not give them something to say and do, so that we are looking forward to each match on the PPV, not just the Cena matches?  

You decide to give MVP 5 minutes of air-time to cut a promo, have a random match - why not have him build a feud in that time?  Let him and Swagger continue to feud!  Let MVP and Kofi rebel against Teddy Long for not looking out for the other black superstars, and start wreaking havoc on the rest of the Smackdown locker room, interrupting matches and attacking stars.  Wanna build MVP as a top babyface? Have him publicly call out McMahon for always holding him back  and screwing him - have McMahon respond by using all of his resources to screw MVP by getting Triple H to take him out, putting MVP in handicap matches with his henchmen, firing Teddy Long for helping MVP, etc....SIGH!

2.  TAG TEAMS - Give us more tag team matches!  Those are the most exciting matches on the card.   I keep hearing that WWE has depleted its Tag roster.  Not exactly.....here are the current tag teams:

 - Nexus

- Santino & Kozlov

- Hart Dynasty (For the moment)

- The Usos

- The Dudebusters

Not the most impressive bunch, granted.  But here are some additional tag teams that COULD be....

Big Show & well...anyone - Big Show hasn't been entertaining since he teamed with the Miz and with Chris Jericho.  Give him another top heel or face who's also floundering - Rey Mysterio, Drew McIntyre, Cody Rhodes, etc.

Miz & Alex Riley - What?  WWE's next golden boy in the tag division!?!? NO! YESSS!!!!! Let's face it, WWE is in NO  HURRY to get MIZ to the main event level.  Since winning the MITB, he hasn't had a single feud with anyone except the feud of convenience with Daniel Bryan, only necessary for him to drop the US Title.  He hasn't had any feuds on the payperviews, he was only featured on Survivor Series to cut a promo.   He can still cash in the MITB for Wrestlemania, but at least give him something to do in the meantime.  He could teach some of the personality-less teams (See. Usos, Hart Dynasty) how to cut a promo, and can help put over his partner Alex Riley.   This could at least last until Elimination Chamber when he can cash in MITB.

MVP - The only problem with his Mark Henry Tag Team run is that WWE never put them over.  WWE never gave them a run with the belts.  This team was strong, believable, and should have went back and forth with Jericho and Big Show, instead of losing every single week.  MVP can be a Tag champion with almost anybody on the roster.

Kofi - Damn I hate to say this one. But Kofi is floundering....and he is one of the most entertaining in-ring talents, and could bring some life to the tag division.  I just can't think of a legit partner for him which is why.....

3.  RE-FOCUS THE HEADLINING HEAVYWEIGHT DIVISIONS - I, like most of you, am so diarrhea-coming-out-of-every-oriface SICK of seeing Orton, Cena, Triple H, Undertaker in every main event.  (Seriously, I challenge any one of my readers to tell me when is the last time one of these 4 was not in a main even title match....)  Especially when WWE claims to be "building younger stars."  Quite frankly, WWE has PLENTY of young stars that they are missing out on.  These guys are ready for the main event level (of course, assuming WWE gets their heads out of their asses in the next year):  Kofi Kingston, Sheamus, The Miz, Ezekiel Jackson, Alberto Del Rio, Christian, Wade Barrett, Daniel Bryan, Jack Swagger....

Almost there:  Drew McIntyre, Tyler Reks, MVP

One Day Soon: Ted Dibiase, David Otunga, Skip Sheffield (not very soon), 

Never:  R-Truth (sorry buddy), JTG, Primo, Zack Ryder, Yoshi Tatsu, 

ENOUGH ALREADY:  Cena, Triple H, Undertake, Edge, Kane.....(Almost there with the new babyface Randy Bore-ton)

4.  REALISTIC STORYLINES - I AM NOT JOINING YOU IDIOTS WHO CONTINUE TO WAGE WAR ON PG!  I DON'T NEED BLOOD AND TITS AND VINCE MCMAHON'S ASS TO  BE ENTERTAINED.

But WWE can still have realistic storylines that are believable, and that make people get invested.  Storylines don't always have to be about chasing a title either.  Whatever happened to storylines about revenge?  (See Triple H vs. Undertaker WM 27 - what should be).  Whatever happened to storylines about family - insulting each other's women and so forth?  Whatever happened to storylines about streaks, being the first to do something, being insulted by another man's bragging?  WWE has done some of this with the Sheamus-Jomo feud, but they need more back and forth mic time.   WWE has done some of this with Del Rio-Mysterio, but it seems like WWE will never let the two actually settle it in the ring.

5.  Title Matches on TELEVISION - HEY WWE, You Un-Creative Greedy Idiots, not every title match has to be at a ppv.  Surprise and rewards us fans who stick with you when you don't deserve our loyalty by giving us a title change ever now and then on Raw and Smackdown!  GEEZ!  

6. Production - If Old School Raw taught us anything, it's that nothing has improved, from the talent to the stories to even the production.  Small changes go a long way to having viewers tuned in and enjoying each week.  Bring back the old school podium by the entrance ramp for interviews and confrontations.  Leave the ring for the wrestling.   Another thing - I used to be so damn excited for Raw when Stone Cold was seen walking into the building, right before heading to the commercial.  That felt real, and I knew I wasn't changing the channel.  Now we get to see Cena on his way to the ring, but it's not the same as me seeing the most pissed off SOB in the building walk in, so we can see it written all over his face that he is ready to cause trouble tonight.  Which reminds me...

7.  FIX THE NEXUS -  Let me just get my ideas out.....1) WWE should put Nexus in street clothes and show them coming in the building together, and have them in street clothes at all times, except in the ring to wrestle.  2) Nexus should go back to random attacks against superstars, commentators, crewmen, etc. 3)Lower members of Nexus like Harris, Hennig, and Otunga should chase belts or have their own mini-feuds with guys like Daniel Bryan, Kofi, Mysterio...4) Keep bringing Nexus to Smackdown and make them a danger to the locker room.  Have them start harassing and threatening and blackmailing Teddy Long 4) For goodness sake' give them a veteran to be in their corner!  A good talker to manage them, a buff guy like Ezekiel Jackson to be their enforcer, or even the played-out Triple H to be their leader!  They need more and more credibility heading into the Rumble and WM 27, and only a veteran can do that.

8.  Give us a reason to stop hating John Cena - He doesn't have to be heel (let's face it, after Survivor Series 2010, it's clear he NEVER EVER EVER will be a heel).  He can still have meaningful adult storylines for everyone to buy into.  I no longer despise John Cena.  He's actually one of my favorite stars, and I respect the hell out of what he does for the company, for the military, for charities, and for the fans.  It's not fair to John Cena what the WWE has done to make his character so predictable.  We know  he won't lose cleanly.  We know he'll main event the next 5 Wrestlemanias.  We know he'll win the next 5 Wrestlemanias.  We know he's not fired.  We know he's never going to be a heel.  We know  he's always going to do the right thing.  Every time we see him, we know exactly what  he's going to do.  How is that ever a good thing!?!?  WWE - This guy works too hard for you for you to be so incredibly UNCREATIVE with his persona......BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD VINCE AND THE OTHER IDIOTS!

9.  GET RID OF GIMMICK PPVS THAT YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY USE - Every time WWE plans a Hell In a Cell Match or a TLC PPV, I want to punch them the way I want to punch women that tease!  AGAIN, I AM NOT LIKE YOU IDIOTS THAT COMPLAIN ABOUT THE PG RATING.  I'm simply saying this;  if you're PG, FINE!  Act like it.  Don't pretend you're not by having hardcore matches, extreme rules matches, tlc matches, hell in a cell matches, when you can't have the wrestlers do anything but take chair shots to the back.  I'd rather you not even tease us with the idea of a real extreme match, than to call it extreme, with no actual extreme action.  I mean, this one is simple.

10.  IF YOU DO INSIST ON THE MEDIOCRE CRAP THAT YOU'VE BEEN GIVING US - AT LEAST LOWER THE DAMN PRICE!  - No way am I paying $50 for another pay per view.  No way am I paying $60 for upper arena seats for the next live event.  No way am I paying $15 for an action figure.  You're charging way too much for such a lousy product.  Seriously $50????? Your ratings and buy-rates tell you that you're losing money. Simple economics tells you that when the demand goes down, reduce the damn price!  

IDIOTS!