Desperate Houseboys of Dallas: Drama Without Romo

Jabber HeadNov 5, 2010

Love'em or hate'em, they're the most popular team in the NFL and one of the most popular teams in all of sports. They have the most well-known (or infamous, depending on your perspective) owner in the NFL. They field almost as many star players as stars on their helmets. They play in what is unarguably the most glamorous & spectacular "house" in sports.

Yet they are 1-5 (as of this writing, pre-Week 8), just lost their star QB for 6-8 weeks (aka the season) and barring a miracle, not only will not become the first team to play a home Super Bowl game, but will miss the playoffs.

The Dallas Cowboys, prior to their game against the NY Giants, were already standing on the treacherous precipice of disaster. Then, one devastating clean hit by Michael Boley "inserted a banana peel under one of their feet." A long, agonizing fall into the grave for the team and its fans is virtually assured to follow.

John Kitna now replaces Tony Romo at quarterback. Even if the team had been playing well, this would represent a harbinger of doom. Kitna hasn't played in two years and the last season that he played, his then-Lions were so fed up with his incompetence that they were preparing to cut him. Then, in stepped Jerry "I know Talent" Jones to save Kitna's career via trade.

Now the Cowboys have a rag-armed, inaccurate, cement-legged QB to go along with a knuckleheaded, pansy head coach, broken-record play-calling offensive coordinator and players who have the discipline and focus of three year olds.

Ironically, many Cowboys fans had been calling for Romo's head. Be careful what you ask for...You just got it...well...his clavicle anyway.

There is, however, some light at the end of the train wreck...I mean...tunnel...no...train wreck. At the end of this season, Wade "Cupcake" Phillips will surely be fired, opening the door for the possibility of acquiring a head coach with a brain and "a pair."

Who knows...Jerry may also even fire Jason "The Red-Headed Genius" Garrett as OC. Also, the Cowboys should find themselves drafting early if not often, providing high-quality young talent...no wait...Jerry Jones does the drafting, so...as I was saying, the team will get a new head coach.

GO COWBOYS...in 2012 (since there will be no 2011 NFL season).