Randy Moss: Why the Pro Bowler Is Not on the St. Louis Rams

Pro Bowl wide receiver Randy Moss has been claimed by the Tennessee Titans.

Ready to hear something funny?

Head over to TheRealRandyMoss.com and check out the poll question.

I'll just tell you about it so you don't have to wait. The real Randy Moss is conducting a fan poll to see where the fans want him to play. He lists three teams to choose from. 

Seattle

Rams

Miami

According to TheRealRandyMoss.com, over three thousand votes have been cast. The people have spoken--45 percent say the Rams, 40 percent say Miami, leaving 15 percent to Seattle. 

I listed the teams above as they are listed on his site. Seattle, Miami, the Rams. He could have gone all three cities, or all three team names. 

Leaves me to wonder if "theRealRandyMoss" couldn't remember what city the Rams play. Now I know he didn't make the poll himself, but he had to tell somebody which three to list. 

Too bad the Titans were nowhere to be found on the list. I bet he forgot about them.

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Read on for the reasons why the Rams passed on Moss

No Versatility

Jim Rogash/Getty Images

FOXBORO, MA - OCTOBER 31: Randy Moss #84 of the Minnesota Vikings runs onto the field before a game against the New England Patriots at Gillette Stadium on October 31, 2010 in Foxboro, Massachusetts. (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images)

Let's be honest here for a second. Randy's best days are behind him. I haven't seen him run fast in weeks. I haven't seen him lay out for a ball in the past two years. He isn't even an every down player anymore.

Randy only runs three routes in the offense. 

1. standard deep route
2. a slant 
3. a curl

Don't get me wrong, when he runs those routes, he is one of the best in the game. When he's asked to do something that may be outside his comfort zone he becomes an ENORMOUS liability.

The Rams are still rebuilding. They needs guys that can multi-task, not Randy Moss.

Harmful to Society

Do the Rams really want this guy representing them? 

Now personally I don't have a problem with Moss' antics, but new Rams Stan Kroenke might.

Do you remember the 2005 NFC Wild Card game? Specifically when Moss mooned the fans in Green Bay after scoring a tuddy?

Pretty funny stuff. 

Anyways--that kind of stuff won't fly in St. Louis.

The St. Louis police don't need Moss around either. Remember when he "ran over a cop" with his car in Minnesota way back when? To be fair, I think he only clipped her--just saying.

Not Dangerous in the Red Zone

Jim Prisching/Getty Images

GREEN BAY, WI - OCTOBER 24: Randy Moss #84 of the Minnesota Vikings celebrates a touchdown against the Green Bay Packers during their game at Lambeau Field on October 24, 2010 in Green Bay, Wisconsin. (Photo by Jim Prisching/Getty Images)

Name five receivers who are better in the red zone than Randy Moss. I'm going to answer with you. Here I go:

Reggie Wayne, Andre Johnson, Hakeem Nicks, Roddy White, Calvin Johnson, Terrell Owens, DeSean Jackson, Steve Johnson(look at his numbers before you give me a look), Anquan Boldin, Dwayne Bowe. 

Off the top of my head, I was able to come up with 10. 

Did I miss anybody?

Randy Moss is no longer an elite player in the NFL. 

What He Doesn't Do

Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - OCTOBER 11: Randy Moss #84 of the Minnesota Vikings walks up to the line of scrimmage against the New York Jets at New Meadowlands Stadium on October 11, 2010 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

See the picture? Randy is jogging. That's pretty much all he does when he is on the field. 

Here is a list of what he doesn't do:

Doesn't finish plays

Doesn't block

Doesn't run fast

Doesn't seem like he gives a crap

Seems like there is a better chance of me winning the lottery than Randy playing a full game at full speed.

He's High Maintenance

Adam Bettcher/Getty Images

EDEN PRAIRIE, MN - OCTOBER 7: Wide receiver Randy Moss #84 of the Minnesota Vikings takes his first practice after re-joining the Vikings at Winter Park on October 7, 2010 in Eden Prairie, Minnesota. (Photo by Adam Bettcher/Getty Images)

There is nothing more annoying in life than someone who is high maintenance. Randy Moss is the definition of high maintenance. 

I've dated women who require less maintenance than Randy. 

I've had cars that require less maintenance than Randy. 

Brett Favre is less maintenance than Randy Moss. Wait--that's not true. Who am I kidding?

Most common word I've heard used to describe Moss is--distraction.

I've seen the Rams play. At times this season, they've managed to seem distracted with Moss thousands of miles away.

I'm glad he's staying far away.