The Funny Side Of Golf: Top 15 Golf Quotes

ThomasSenior Writer IAugust 22, 2008

Golf—probably the worst fun game ever invented.  Pictured above is possibly the worst golfer ever, Charles Barkley.  I myself am not a great golfer, but I do enjoy playing occasionally.  Here are my top 15 quotes that describe golf. 

15.  "The difference between golf and tennis is that in tennis you want to kill the other player; in golf you just want to kill yourself." - Anonymous

14.  "A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom." - Henry Beard, humorist and author

13.  "Thou shalt not use profanity; thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's putter; thou shalt not steal thy neighbor's ball; thou shalt not bear false witness in the final tally." - ground rules at a clergymen's tournament

12.  "I'm the best; I just haven't played yet." - Muhammad Ali, former boxer

11.  "If you watch a game, it's fun; if you play it, it's recreational; if you work at it, it's golf." - Bob Hope, comedian

10.  "Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose." - Winston Churchill, former prime minister of Britain

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9.  "Golf is a good walk spoiled." - Mark Twain, author

8.  "We learn so many things from golf—how to suffer, for instance." - Bruce Lansky, author

7.  "If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up." - Tommy Bolt, member of the World Golf Hall of Fame

6.  "I have a tip that can take five shots off anyone's golf game.  It's called an eraser." - Arnold Palmer, legendary golfer

5.  "Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the golf course." - Billy Graham, evangelist

4.  "It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball.  I did it in one afternoon on the golf course." - Hank Aaron, former baseball player

3.  "I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators." - Gerald Ford, former President of the United States

2.  "The reason a pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing." - Phyllis Diller, comedienne

1.  "Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six, and write down five." - Paul Harvey, comedian

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