The Terrible 10 of College Football

The college cream of the crop gets all the glory.

But what of the worst?

Don't they deserve a knowing nod and a kick in the ass?

Sure they do, so here goes the Preseason NCAA Terrible Ten and its not just about wins and losses; it's about bad karma too.

1] Syracuse Orangemen: The Orangemen's defense was one of the worst in the nation last year. So far this year they have shined. Sadly it was against the horrid Syracuse offense in the intrasquad game.

Look for Coach Greg Robinson to continue build momentum on his 7-28 start at Syracuse. If the Akron Zips zip the 'Cuse in week two, things get real ugly real quick.

2} Duke Blue Devils: New Coach David Cutcliffe pledged to build on Old Duke Coach's Ted Roof's 6-45 run with no ACC wins in three years. Roof was traded to the Minnesota Golden Gophers for two sixth-round draft picks and a bushel of honeycrisp apples.

After watching his first Blue Devil workout Coach Cutcliffe, once a graduate assistant under the legendary Bear Bryant mused that if the Bear was coaching the Devils, it would be two bottles of bourbon a day, not just one.

3] Minnesota Golden Gophers: New Coach Tim "Punky" Brewster promised to "take the Gopher Nation to Pasadena;" well, the Minnesota faithful await bus tickets. After a 1-11 first season, Brewster brought in Duke offensive guru Ted Roof to add burst to the busted Gophers offense.

4] Notre Dame Fighting Irish: Fresh off leading the Fighting Irish to its worst season in 44 years, Coach Charlie Weis looks to lurk even lower this year. Weis vowed to boosters that his dominance of Duke would continue at any cost, as long as his fat contract is extended again.

5] Rice Owls: After all these years and all the different chefs, the Rice still can't get cooked right.

6] Idaho Vandals: After 11 losses and one win in 2007, the Vandals vowed to run the table this season.

7] Utah State Aggies: After Aggie backup QB Jase McCormick left the team, Coach  Brent Guy purportedly told him to stay in the parking lot and keep the car running, because he is going to need a ride out of Utah soon, too, as he expects his ten game losing streak to roll on. The early Idaho game looms large in Terrible Ten voting.

8] UNLV Running Rebels: There are lots of things to do in Vegas and apparently most of the Rebels squad is doing them instead of practising with the pigskin. Coach Mike Sanford has gone 6-29 but expects to build on last year 2-10 mark, or at least someday replace Roy in Siegfried's Lion act. 

9} SMU Mustangs: Reports say new Coach June Jones stares at the dreary Dallas skyline, streams the tapes of his 1-11 Mustangs, thinks of palm trees, beaches, and hula girls—and cries.

10] Temple Owls: Despite the famous kindness of Philadelphia citizens, the joy of playing in a near-empty stadium, and the lure of campus crime the Owls always seem unable to take flight.

11] Miami Hurricanes: After ending the first year of the Randy Shannon era by being outscored 120-28, and going 2-6 in the ACC, the Hurricane headman said he had no fear of Duke, despite Duke pulling to within a field goal of the famed "U" in the fourth quarter.