U.S. Ryder Cup Team Posts on Craigslist, Removed for Adult Content (Satire)

It was recently reported that Jim Furyk bought a $36 putter from a second-hand store which he used at the Tour Championship where he placed first and won $11.5 million. 

After winning the tournament, J-Frick, as his Ryder cup teammates call him, swung open the locker room door with a big grin on his face.  He waved his used putter in the air and flailed his arms high above his head.  He poked fellow Ryder Cup teammate, Zach Johnson in the rear.  Johnson, after placing ninth in the tournament, rolled his eyes and seemed aggravated by Furyk.  Furyk would then confront the media.

“I am looking forward to the Ryder Cup next weekend.  I have already begun making plans for how we plan on beating the Europeans this year.  I have informed the team and captains of our strategy.  This year we will be using Craigslist as our main source of gathering equipment for the tournament,”  Furyk said.

A Craigslist post published on September 28th at 4:17AM is titled “BSG Looking 4 Female with Used Equipment.”  We have discovered that "BSG" is known among internet blogs and chat rooms as "Big Sexy Golfer."  The post includes foul language and promises to have “kinky fun with a Wanamaker Trophy and a Green Jacket.”  The post was immediately taken down due to extreme content.

The bartender at the Celtic Manor Resort in Newport, Wales has reported that the U.S. Ryder Cup Team actually used a red high-heeled shoe stapled to a long piece of plastic tubing as their team putter for practice rounds.  The players were surprised to find that that the hand-crafted club was not efficient for getting the ball in the cup.

The U.S. team would go on to lose 14.5-13.5, with their standard, high-priced equipment.  Corey Pavin placed the red high-heeled shoe in storage to be considered for next year's matches.