Constructing The Perfect 2010-11 NBA Player Using Parts From NBA Stars

Since it's October, the month of Halloween, I thought it'd be interesting to make a monster in the vein of Frankenstein.

This is a sports website though and we're going to make a monster in the form of an NBA superstar. To do this I'll be stealing body parts from various NBA superstars to make this monster and in doing this I'll make a monster who can do almost everything well and win championships and MVPs until his days are over.

So, let's see what we can cook up in the lab shall we?

Brain, Kobe Bryant

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BARCELONA, SPAIN - OCTOBER 07: Kobe Bryant #24 of the Los Angeles Lakers smiles during the NBA Europe Live match between Los Angeles Lakers and Regal FC Barcelona at the at Palau Blaugrana on October 7, 2010 in Barcelona, Spain. (Photo by David Ramos/Ge

Nobody in the League has seen more different looks than Kobe. Opposing coaches have done everything to try and stop him and he still dominates games. His repertoire will give our monster the skills he needs to destroy his competition. Not only that, but he's a great defensive player whose experience will make our monster a cerebral player on both sides of the ball.

Eyes, Steve Nash

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LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 27: Steve Nash #13 of the Phoenix Suns passes the ball against the Los Angeles Lakers in the first quarter of Game Five of the Western Conference Finals during the 2010 NBA Playoffs at Staples Center on May 27, 2010 in Los Angeles,

Nash looks like a horse with those eyes on the side of his head. I'm not saying it's the only reason he's got such great court vision, but Nash has no equal when it comes to seeing things on the court. He sees plays develop before they happen and can thread in a pass where no one else would think to. Giving our monster Nash's vision will make him the ultimate court general.

Ears, Nick Collison

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LOS ANGELES, CA - APRIL 27: Nick Collison #4 of the Oklahoma City Thunder dunks the ball against the Los Angeles Lakers during Game Five of the Western Conference Quarterfinals of the 2010 NBA Playoffs at Staples Center on April 27, 2010 in Los Angeles,

This part of our monster could really go to any role player who does a good job of listening to his team leaders and doing his job, but since I had to pick one player I went with a homer pick and got Nick Collison's ears.

With the ears of role player, our monster would be able to listen to other players and use his other skills to keep the team together. Some superstars won't listen to other players, but that won't be a problem with our All-star.

Mouth, Kevin Garnett

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LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 17: Kevin Garnett #5 of the Boston Celtics boxes out Lamar Odom #7 of the Los Angeles Lakers in Game Seven of the 2010 NBA Finals at Staples Center on June 17, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowle

Our monster is going to need to be a vocal leader if he's going to be the best player in the NBA. Nobody is more vocal than Garnett on the floor and that makes him the logical choice for our monster's mouth.

Talking on defense is an underrated attribute and, with Garnett's mouth, our monster will be the best in the league at getting his guys in the right position and communicating information to his team.

Body, Lebron James

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MIAMI - OCTOBER 05: Forward LeBron James #6 of the Miami Heat dunks against the Detroit Pistons on October 5, 2010 in Miami, Florida. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consen

Six feet eight inches of man, built like a truck at 250 pounds of solid muscle. Lebron James has not physical equal on the court. He's a man among boys and our monster wouldn't be complete without a body that was at least equal, if not better than the King.

Shoulders, Dwight Howard

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BOSTON - MAY 28: Dwight Howard of the Orlando Magic looks on against the Boston Celtics in Game Six of the Eastern Conference Finals during the 2010 NBA Playoffs at TD Garden on May 28, 2010 in Boston, Massachusetts. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowl

There's honestly no real reason to give our monster Dwight's shoulders, but I'm going to do it because those things are amazing to look at.

Left Arm, Brandon Jennings

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ATLANTA - MAY 2: Guard Brandon Jennings #3 of the Milwaukee Bucks dribbles with the ball during Game Seven of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals between the Milwaukee Bucks and the Atlanta Hawks during the 2010 NBA Playoffs at Philips Arena on May 2, 2

Jennings has mad handles and can get buckets any time he wants. His  assist to turnover ratio isn't great, but it's serviceable and our monster will be more than happy with Jennings' left arm.

Right Arm, Kevin Durant

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LOS ANGELES, CA - APRIL 27: Kevin Durant #35 of the Oklahoma City Thunder with the ball while taking on the Los Angeles Lakers during Game Five of the Western Conference Quarterfinals of the 2010 NBA Playoffs at Staples Center on April 27, 2010 in Los An

Durant is you're reigning scoring champ and will get points from any place on the court. This, along with Jennings' left arm, will give our monster a disgusting ability to score with either hand and be an elite shooter from any angle and either hand.

Heart, Joakim Noah

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CHICAGO - APRIL 25: Joakim Noah #13 of the Chicago Bulls moves against Antawn Jamison #4 of the Cleveland Cavaliers in Game Four of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals during the 2010 NBA Playoffs at the United Center on April 25, 2010 in Chicago, Illino

Nobody tries harder than Noah and putting his heart inside our monster will give him the drive to become the best player in the League.

Not only that, but you can be sure he'll dive after every loose ball and take any charge he can, which should make his teammates respect him even more.

Legs, Josh Smith

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ATLANTA - MAY 10: Josh Smith #5 of the Atlanta Hawks dunks against the Orlando Magic during Game Four of the Eastern Conference Semifinals of the 2010 NBA Playoffs at Philips Arena on May 10, 2010 in Atlanta, Georgia. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknow

Smith can jump out of the gym and has amazing timing with his leaps. This allows him to be able to swat shots into the bleachers and throw rim-rattling dunks that get the crowd out of their seats.

Our monster needs elite athleticism to keep up with his other body parts and Smith has that in spades.

Feet, Rajon Rondo

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LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 17: Rajon Rondo #9 of the Boston Celtics moves the ball while taking on the Los Angeles Lakers in Game Seven of the 2010 NBA Finals at Staples Center on June 17, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknow

One word: Speed.

Rondo is usually the fastest player on the court, by a lot and he's able to use that speed to his advantage, thus making himself one of the best point guards in the game in just a few short years. Giving our monster this speed will allow him to get up and down the court in a hurry and use his other skills to become the best player in the world!

Monster Overview

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UNITED STATES - MAY 02: Michael Jordan during the Pro-Am prior to the 2007 Wachovia Championship held at Quail Hollow Country Club in Charlotte, North Carolina on May 2, 2007. (Photo by Sam Greenwood/Getty Images)

There he is ladies and gentlemen, our NBA Monster, whose going to dominate the League for years to come. Strange that he looks so familiar.