Holiday Sweets and Sours: Mid Week Review

With Christmas around the corner, we take a moment to reflect on those things that make us smile... and sneer.

Even though the Christmas motto is "It's better to give than to receive," several high profile names are showing us that that motto is seriously overrated.

So on a cold snowy day in Colorado, I dish out my own style of Holiday Madness.

Triple Threat: Les Miles vs. LSU vs. Michigan

Even before Les Miles' LSU Tigers battle for the National Championship, the drama is unfolding right before our very eyes.

Ironic that the SEC and Big Ten are duking it out even before the Bowl games start.

Michigan must love the handicap matches because they're battling Florida in the Capital One Bowl and then gunning for Les Miles after the bowl season is over. Even though he signed an extension, and even though he says that "I'm LSU always," we all know that this isn't the case.

Steve Spurrier said that about Florida, but the minute the bigger, better deal came around, he was gone. Most coaches in the college ranks say that they're staying with their group, but we all know better.

Don't be surprised if Miles is in Michigan Blue next season, and don't be surprised if LSU is in the Top Five this time around next season.

Maybe Spurrier will coach the Bayou Bengals next season... and maybe hell will freeze over while the sports gods are at it. For the record, I think Les was sticking his tongue out at Michigan after the SEC Championship.

Arkansas vs. Atlanta for Possession of Bobby Petrino's Balls

Most coaches would at least wait til the season is over before jumping ship.

Most owners see change imminent before the season ends.

Neither Arthur Blank, nor his organization, saw this one coming.

Late Tuesday night, Blank received a phone call from his coach, Bobby Petrino, saying that he was leaving the team after less than a season.

The shocking part: He made that call from Fayetteville, Arkansas at a Razorbacks Luncheon. Five minutes later, he was introduced as the new head football coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks.

With Houston Nutt on his way out, Petrino found the perfect exit out of a dismal situation. We all know that he took the job with the thought that he could make Michael Vick better.

Now Vick is hoping that he doesn't drop the soap in the next two years.

As for Blank, he's stuck trying to find someone to replace his coward of a coach. Even Spurrier took his lumps while he was coach of Washington, and then he was sent packing.

Quite frankly, Petrino's manhood comes into question after pulling a stunt that no one saw coming or will condone.

Atlanta's Christmas present this year: A big giant boot in the ass for sending former coach Jim Mora on his way. Now Mora is heading to the playoffs with Seattle, while Blank is left with (ironically enough) a blank stare on his face wondering where did it all go wrong.

The answer: that pesky water bottle that's getting a tan in Miami right now. Speaking of Miami...

Miami Fans vs. Cam Cameron for Possession of their Dolphins

Yeah, it's official: The Miami Dolphins suck!

No sugar coating necessary.

How bad do they suck? A bar that I frequent used to have a lot of Dolphins fans in it.

Amazingly enough, they're wearing the jerseys of whoever they're getting killed by that week.

It's sad what has happened to the teams of South Florida. There used to be such promise for the Heat, Marlins, and Dolphins. But now, even the University of Miami is feeling the pinch of mediocrity.

For the first time in a long time, there will be no Canes in a bowl game this year. If rumors are true, Scott Linehan could be looking for another job after this season.

But, hey, maybe they should try to sweet talk Mooch or Cowher into getting away from the desk and coming back. Because any dee dee dee can see that Cam Cameron will not be back in South Florida next season... that is, if the owner is still thinking with 25% of his brain.

The Weekend Prequel

Before the weekend gets kicked off in the only fashion it knows (royal), the Denver Broncos travel to Texas to take on a few old faces.

Mike Shanahan takes on former Broncos, Bradlee Van Pelt and Ron Dayne, as well as former offensive coordinator Gary Kubiak, and the rest of his Houston Texans squad.

And even though it is a slim chance, for both of these teams, it's still a chance.

With the playoff picture starting to take complete shape, the Broncos need a win to keep pace with the resurging San Diego SuperChargers, while Houston is looking for its first winning season in its 'new' franchise's history.

Not much in the way of bragging rights for this one, but still will be a good game to watch.

Other games of note: if you get a chance to flip through channels at halftime, Spike's weekly wrestling program, TNA: IMPACT will also air tonight — and Jim Cornette will reveal who gets money, a title shot, and a pink slip after the Feast or Fired matches that occurred over the past few weeks.

For hockey fans, the Ottawa Senators visit the Steel City to bump heads with Sidney Crosby and the Pittsburgh Penguins. While in the Motor City, the Red Wings entertain the Edmonton Oilers.

For lovers of the hardwood (no pun intended), the Wizards head to South Beach to take on Shaq, D-Wade and the Miami Heat while on the west coast, Kobe and the Lakers host Tim Duncan and the defending champion San Antonio Spurs.

That about covers the major "W2W4" stuff for the evening. If none of this entertains you, there's always Emeril and CSI.

That's the good stuff, and I'm outta here.

See ya tomorrow.