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Dear LA: Welcome to the Spectacle Known as "Manny Being Manny"

Andy Guerrero
Aug 13, 2008

ย ย  *Let me preface this by saying that I am definitely a Mannyย Ramirez fan.

Dear L.A. Dodgers fans,

So you got Manny Ramirez, one of the greatest right handed hitters to ever play the game.ย  Congratulations.ย 

He's been playing like a new man since the trade hitting .476 while slugging .833 with four home runs and 14 RBI.ย  He's playing with the youthful enthusiasm he always plays with, but he somehow seems more content than he did in his final months in a Boston uniform.ย 

Plus, the Dodgers are only one game behind the D-Backs (who also made a trade for a slugger by acquiring Adam Dunn).ย  Things are good in Dodgertown...then two nights ago when the ninth inning startedย the Dodgers were without a left fielder.ย 

Mannyย believed he had been taken out by manager Joe Torre, so he returned to the clubhouse to "use the bathroom".ย  When someone finally went to get him, he ran out onto the field with the top half of his uniform half open, leaving people wonderingย why you wouldย need to takeย the top half of your uniform off to use the restroom.

Watching the game and the highlights, I was taken back to that fateful summer when he disappeared into the Monsterย during a pitching change and didn't return until the last second.ย 

Sure this is Dodgers fans' firstย firsthand taste of "Manny Being Manny," but the more times you say it, the more it grates on your nerves and eventually you end up saying itย through gritted teeth and with no trace of a smile on your face.ย 

Then, he'll stop running out ground balls and instead start making plays in the outfield that will leave you scratching your head and wondering if you, who played baseball in high school, or your little next door neighbor who's just started little league could have made that play.ย 

He'll also start complainingย about the media intruding in his personal life, and saying the front office isย causing him problems.ย 

It'll all start slowly of course, with a comment here, a comment there, then it will all start to snowball, eventually leading to all-out mutiny with him being too hurt to play in crucial series or holding up signs in the dugout requesting tradesโ€”no matter how hilarious those signs may beโ€”or telling reporters that heย would play in Iraq if he had to (what?).ย 

Yes Dodger fans, you and Manny are in the honeymoon stage right now, but wait until these things start happening. Maybe they won't happen this year, but remember that he becomes a free agent at the end of the year and he has expressed his undying love for Dodger blue and has said he would like to finish his career in it.ย 

Ifย the Dodgers' front office wants to pony up the dough to sign him for the next few years, get yourself ready for the incredible show that will surely commence.

Sincerely,

Andy, and Red Sox fans everywhereย ย