NFL Picks Week 1: Predictions For Opening Week Games—In Limericks

NFL Picks and Predictions for Week 1 are here.

That means another glorious NFL season is upon us.

So what better way to get the season started than with a round of picks and predictions for each Week 1 game....in limericks.

Before we're inevitably disappointed by our favorite players and coaches, outraged by various officials, and depressed by our underperforming fantasy rosters, give these picks and limericks a read, and don't hesitate to contribute your own limericks in the comments below.

Go to the next slide to get started on the picks.

Minnesota Vikings @ New Orleans Saints

Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

NEW ORLEANS - JANUARY 24: Pierre Thomas #23 of the New Orleans Saints stretches to score a 3-yard rushing touchdown in the third quarter against Tyrell Johnson #25 the Minnesota Vikings during the NFC Championship Game at the Louisiana Superdome on Janua

These teams had a dumb Twitter war

It made headlines, but the tiff was a bore

For Shiancoe's sake,

Favre's ankle best not ache

(Shiancoe's been caught with his pants down before)

Saints: 38

Vikings: 28

Carolina Panthers @ New York Giants

Nick Laham/Getty Images

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - DECEMBER 27: Eli Manning #10 of the New York Giants against the Carolina Panthers at Giants Stadium on December 27, 2009 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)

The Giants' new stadium is big and bold.

Let's hope it brings back their defense of old.

Matt Moore's skill is all myth,

Although he still has Steve Smith.

No way Eli lets his team fold.

Giants: 31

Panthers: 13

Atlanta Falcons @ Pittsburgh Steelers

Marc Serota/Getty Images

MIAMI - AUGUST 27: Quarterback Matt Ryan #2 of the Atlanta Falcons passes against the Miami Dolphins during preseason action at Sun Life Stadium on August 27, 2010 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Marc Serota/Getty Images)

Matt Ryan hit a sophomore slump.

But he's not some suspended chump.

Dennis Dixon has it tough,

His O-line looks rough.

The Steelers will get a week 1 thump.

Falcons: 23

Steelers: 10

Cleveland Browns @ Tampa Bay Bucs

Matt Sullivan/Getty Images

CLEVELAND - JANUARY 03: Jerome Harrison #35 of the Cleveland Browns runs against the Jacksonville Jaguars at Cleveland Browns Stadium on January 3, 2010 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by Matt Sullivan/Getty Images)

Many fans can watch this on DirecTV.

But this is not the game they want to see.

The Browns feature Harrison, Jerome

Plus overpaid Jake Delhomme.

And they'll still win 21-3.

Browns: 21

Bucs: 3

Indianapolis Colts @ Houston Texans

Stephen Dunn/Getty Images

HOUSTON - NOVEMBER 29: Andre Johnson #80 of the Houston Texans talks with Reggie Wayne #87 of the Indianapolis Colts after their game on November 29, 2009 at Reliant Stadium in Houston, Texas. The Colts won 35-27. (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

Get ready, because coverage will be blown.

That means scores for Wayne, Clark and Garcon.

Peyton's bulletproof,

Except for the Super Bowl goof.

Look for No. 18 to be back in the zone.

Colts: 42

Texans: 27

Cincinnati Bengals @ New England Patriots

Elsa/Getty Images

FOXBORO, MA - AUGUST 26: Randy Moss #81 of the New England Patriots hangs on to the catch as he is tackled by a member of the St. Louis Rams on August 26, 2010 at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, Massachusetts. (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

A big question facing the Pats' attack

Is "Who is their lead running back?"

Plus Moss is upset,

(Not that he's in debt)

The home crowd gets this team back on track.

Patriots: 20

Bengals: 17

Miami Dolphins @ Buffalo Bills

Greg Fiume/Getty Images

LANDOVER, MD - AUGUST 13: Trent Edwards #5 of the Buffalo Bills hands the ball off to C.J. Spiller #21 during the preseason game against the Washington Redskins at FedEx Field on August 13, 2010 in Landover, Maryland. (Photo by Greg Fiume/Getty Images)

The Bills have lacked an offensive pillar.

But now they have much-hyped C.J. Spiller.

Fans will have their eyes peeled,

When he's in the backfield.

But Miami wins in a game that's not much of a thriller.

Dolphins: 16

Bills: 9

Oakland Raiders @ Tennessee Titans

Mary Ann Chastain/Getty Images

CHARLOTTE, NC - AUGUST 28: Runningback Chris Johnson #28 of the Tennessee Titans walks on the sidelines before the start of their preseason game against the Carolina Panthers at Bank of America Stadium on August 28, 2010 in Charlotte, North Carolina. (P

Chris Johnson won't have the game you'd expect.

Since the Raiders' defense is far from suspect.

Oakland now has Jason Campbell,

And he knows how to scramble.

So the Raiders have a chance? Incorrect.

Titans: 23

Raiders: 14

Denver Broncos @ Jacksonville Jaguars

Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

DENVER - AUGUST 29: Quarterback Kyle Orton #8 of the Denver Broncos delivers a pass against the Pittsburgh Steelers during preseason NFL action at INVESCO Field at Mile High on August 29, 2010 in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)

Tim Tebow? Fans can't get enough.

Although Orton's proved he's pretty darn tough.

The Jags' offense really stinks,

Their fans should consume a lot of drinks.

Especially given MJD's bad rotator cuff.

Broncos: 27

Jaguars: 6

Arizona Cardinals @ St. Louis Rams

Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images

ST. LOUIS - SEPTEMBER 2: Sam Bradford #8 of the St. Louis Rams passes against the Baltimore Ravens during an NFL preseason game at the Edward Jones Dome on September 2, 2010 in St. Louis, Missouri. (Photo by Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images)

Bradford is starting, the Rams have revealed.

Steven Jackson should be fully healed.

Anderson will have bad spells,

But he can count on Beanie Wells.

And Arizona wins on the Rams' field.

Cardinals: 21

Rams: 17

San Francisco 49ers @ Seattle Seahawks

Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images

SEATTLE , WA - DECEMBER 06: Vernon Davis #85 of the San Francisco 49ers catches a touchdown pass in the 1st qurter against the Seattle Seahawks at Qwest Field on December 6, 2009 in Seattle, Washington. (Photo by Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images)

Niner fans will give it to you straight.

They're not scared of Carroll, Forsett or Tate.

The NFC West is weak,

A loss would be bleak.

Plus Singletary would be absolutely irate.

49ers: 35

Seahawks: 14

Detroit Lions @ Chicago Bears

Justin K. Aller/Getty Images

CLEVELAND - SEPTEMBER 2: Jay Cutler #6 talks with Greg Olsen #82 of the Chicago Bears against the Cleveland Browns during the preseason game on September 2, 2010 at Cleveland Browns Stadium in Cleveland, Ohio. The Browns defeated the Bears 13-10. (Photo b

Folks tie the Detroit Lions to losing.

But the Bears' D is no longer bruising.

With a kick from Jahvid Best,

Stafford can handle the rest.

And Jay Cutler picks? Always amusing.

Lions: 27

Bears: 26

Green Bay Packers @ Philadelphia Eagles

Jeff Gross/Getty Images

GLENDALE, AZ - JANUARY 10: Wide receiver Greg Jennings #85 of the Green Bay Packers catches the ball for a touchdown against the Arizona Cardinals during the third quarter of the 2010 NFC wild-card playoff game at University of Phoenix Stadium on January

Kevin Kolb's stomach must be in knots

Replacing McNabb is one of many subplots

Green Bay's already been crowned,

As Super Bowl bound.

Expect lots of yards -- lots and lots.

Packers: 45

Eagles: 27

Dallas Cowboys @ Washington Redskins

Greg Fiume/Getty Images

LANDOVER, MD - AUGUST 21: Donovan McNabb #5 of the Washington Redskins throws a pass during the preseason game against the Baltimore Ravens at FedExField on August 21, 2010 in Landover, Maryland. (Photo by Greg Fiume/Getty Images)

A new era officially begins.

McNabb now leads the Redskins.

The Dallas offense: a mess

But they do have weapons in excess.

And Jerry Jones' Super Bowl patience still thins.

Cowboys: 24

Redskins: 21

Baltimore Ravens @ New York Jets

Nick Laham/Getty Images

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - AUGUST 16: Head coach Rex Ryan of the New York Jets looks on during their game against the New York Giants at New Meadowlands Stadium on August 16, 2010 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)

The Jets are getting hit with a lot of smack.

And the Ravens will be on the attack.

If the Jets stop Ray Rice,

A few scores should suffice.

And they'll deserve that "Hard Knocks" snack.

Jets: 16

Ravens: 13

San Diego Chargers @ Kansas City Chiefs

Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

ATLANTA - AUGUST 13: Jamaal Charles #25 of the Kansas City Chiefs against the Atlanta Falcons at Georgia Dome on August 13, 2010 in Atlanta, Georgia. (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

No matter what year, what time, or what day

Arrowhead is a very tough place to play.

KC's backs have luster

With Charles, Jones and McCluster

But Rivers is a great QB who's here to stay.

Chargers: 21

Chiefs: 17