Ten of the Best Chris Berman Football Nicknames

Chris PolsonContributor ISeptember 9, 2010

Ten of the Best Chris Berman Football Nicknames

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    LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 14:  ESPN personality Chris Berman speaks onstage during the 2010 ESPY Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on July 14, 2010 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
    Kevin Winter/Getty Images

    With Chris Berman, either you love him or hate him.  I actually like him, mostly for the fact that he doesn't really take himself too seriously.  

    But he also makes me laugh with some of his catchphrases and funny nicknames for athletes.  I'm not sure if he makes them all up himself, but the delivery is all him.

    So, in honor of the upcoming NFL season, I decided to come up with a list of ten funny football nicknames Berman has come up with, past and present, in no particular order.

Jason "Can't Always Get What You" Avant

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    This is one of the more recent entries.  I heard it for the first time maybe 2 years ago.

    It had been awhile since I had heard a good football player nickname on NFL Primetime on ESPN.  I had never heard of Avant, so I had no idea where Berman was going when he started with his comment.

    Needless to say, I was rolling around in my chair afterwards.  I haven't really heard any good ones since.

David "Green" Akers

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    I've heard this one for quite awhile now, and it never gets old to me.  I'm not sure I can even say his name without adding "green" to it.

    It almost makes me want to check around the cable box to watch the old TV show.


"Well Dressed" Amani Toomer

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    The former NY Giant wide receiver is one of the few who actually has two different nicknames.

    Amani "it's not a" Toomer, referencing Kindergarten Cop, could also be used here.  I maybe only heard that version once, so the former is the one that sticks the most.

Curtis "My Favorite" Martin

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    Another classic TV show reference.

    I would almost welcome Martin back to the Jets just to hear the nickname used again.  But being a Miami Dolphin fan, I'm glad he's retired.

Eric "Sleeping With" Bieniemy

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    Who knew you could make a bad Julia Roberts movie into something funny?

Marco! Coleman!

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    Berman would should Marco.  Tom Jackson would shout Coleman.  Obviously paying homage to the swimming pool game Marco Polo.

    Funniness aside, who else besides me thought that was a stupid game?

Mike "After Dinner" Minter

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    It may not be the funniest of all the nicknames, but its one of my personal favorites.

Bob "Sister" Christian

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    Another one of my favorites, mainly because it payed homage to one of the greatest 80's "hair band" ballads of all time by Night Ranger.

    I guess there's nothing else left to say except...


    I couldn't resist.

Mike "You're In Good Hands With" Alstott

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    You certainly were in good hands if you gave this guy the ball.  He's one of the few guys you could give the ball to and he could score while knocking down all of the defenders in the process.

    This nickname is a classic that any football fan should remember.

Dom (Dom Dom Dom) Capers

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    Don't you just want to sing along?

    Whenever Capers was a coach and his team would win, Berman and Jackson would start singing the classic '50s hit "Come Go With Me" by the Del-Vikings.  I would suggest to anyone, no matter what age, if they haven't heard the song before to go listen to it.

    As long as his teams weren't playing the Dolphins that week, I was always rooting for them to win so I could hear that familiar tune again.

The End

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    LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 14:  ESPN talent Chris Berman and Keyshawn Johnson arrive at the 2010 ESPY Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on July 14, 2010 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Alexandra Wyman/Getty Images for ESPY)
    Alexandra Wyman/Getty Images

    Those are my ten favorites.  But there are a lot of others, and not just for football.

    I would suggest googling "Chris Berman nicknames" to find a list of more.

    Thanks for reading.


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