Dear Adam Schefter: Stop Reporting About the Oakland Raiders

(Satire)

Dear Adam Schefter,

I don't care if you heard Seabastien Janikowski just had a lap band surgery.

I don't care if you heard Richard Seymour's kid just got a D on a test.

I don't care if you heard Jason Campbell just named his new pet I Hate Snyder.

I don't care if you heard Darren McFadden is going star in 'The Wild Hogs 2'. 

I don't care if you heard Tom Cable switched to DirecTv. 

I don't care if you heard Al Davis got caught scouting a wide receiver that runs a 4.5. 

I don't care if you heard Asomugha was planning to run for President.

I don't care if you heard Lamarr Houston was entering Anger Management.

And I certainly don't care if you heard Matt Leinart was going to be traded to the Raiders. You know why?

Because the only "insiders" in the organization are Al Davis and John Herrera, any other information is false on principle.

The Raiders just released an official statement:

"ESPN’s Adam Schefter is once again making untrue statements about The Oakland Raiders, this time regarding Matt Leinart. The Raiders have never discussed trading for Leinart.

The Raiders are very happy about their quarterback situation."

Adam, you're better than that. I can't wait until the next time you report something false!