Telling the Truth, Phil Fulmer Style

Frankly, I don’t understand why Tennessee coach Phil Fulmer didn’t tell the entire truth at SEC Media Days when it came to getting a subpoena from disgruntled Alabama booster Wendell Smith.

Maybe he didn’t want to be an embarrassment to the program.  Maybe he didn’t want the news to detract from the good season that Tennessee may well have in 2008, where they’ve been tipped as a dark horse for the BCS.  Maybe he didn’t see it.  Or maybe he’s blind.

While sitting in Fantasyland, we thought of a couple more that you could see Phil Fulmer making up too.

“Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Clausen.  Your son Casey will come here and be absolutely loved throughout his quarterbacking career with Tennessee.”

The name Casey Clausen inspires hatred in Knoxville.  I invented a phrase: “To Clausen,” meaning to “Utterly Screw Up.”

“Jamal Lewis, you’re going into the NFL, and you’ll be a fine, upstanding individual.”

Before or after he was imprisoned for using a cell phone to try and set up a cocaine deal?

“How on earth did I win the National Championship with Tee Martin instead of Peyton Manning?”

Not exactly a lie, but we don’t know either.  I think it was this Jamal Lewis character you had at running back.

“Honestly, I just love that guy Steve Spurrier.  He’s on my Christmas card list.”

Yeah, right.

“I can’t understand why they don’t like me in Tuscaloosa.”

“There’s no pressure on me to succeed.”

This is the SEC.  Period.

“We've generally played GREAT in the SEC Championship Game.”

A few more losses in the SEC Championship Game, and the Vols will be vying for Notre Dame’s unwanted bowls record.