What Urban Meyer’s Plight Teaches the 24/7 Leader

(Originally posted December 28, 2009)

Twenty-four hours later, he un-resigned, saying that he would be taking a leave of absence.

When he resigned, there were looming health problems that caused him grave concern.  Meyer is noted for his high intensity and being driven in preparation as well as recruiting.  He, like so many other Division 1 head coaches, live football 24/7/365.  Pat Forde sums up the weekend’s festivities nicely:

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We know the stated reason for the brilliant 45-year-old coach’s sudden, stunning resignation was health concerns that forced him to realign his perspective and put his family first. He mentioned his family three times in the resignation statement released Saturday night, and athletic director Jeremy Foley mentioned it twice more in the same statement.

Then on Sunday, Meyer apparently went out to practice and decided that burnout is for losers, and his family may or may not come before his players. They had a spirited practice in unseasonably cold weather and, shazam, Urban’s not resigning after all! Just taking a vacation of unspecified length! While looming over the program like a 900-foot shadow!

"To see that come out this morning with a great attitude and great work ethic and just go to work, I admire that," Meyer said. "I know I'm dealing with some stuff, and my family comes first. That's never been an issue. That's non-negotiable, that I want to make sure I do right by my family. My second family are my players and our staff, and to see that was the moment. I went immediately to Jeremy, and we had some discussions after that."

Said Foley: "He called me from the practice field, and he didn't come to that decision right then, but he was just, I guess, a little stunned may be the right word."

The rest of us are a lot stunned.

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Pastors, Take Note

Ministry can also take on a 24/7/365 lifestyle very easily.  There is always sermon preparation, prospects to visit, the sick and shut-ins, books to read, meetings to attend, counseling to undertake, etc.  And for men who find great identity in their work, this can be a large snare.  I see that happening with Meyer and I see that happening with dozens of ministers.  No wonder the majority of families say that full-time ministry has a negative effect on the family.  Other wives have noted that they felt their 24/7/365 minister husbands were having affairs…with their church! 

Meyer was a sympathetic figure in many minds (mine included) on Saturday the 26th, especially after hearing Meyer's daughter say, "Now I have my daddy back!"   He noted in a recent interview with Sports Illustrated:

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"It's something that started about four years ago," Meyer said. "It was chest pains that became rather significant two years ago. Whether it's stress related -- I started to become very alarmed with that. And then I'm a person of faith, and I just wanted to make sure I had my priorities straight. A lot of times coaches do not have their priorities straight. You put business before God and family, you have a problem.

"So when we had the issue, when I had to go to the hospital, and a couple issues after that was when I came to the conclusion that I had to re-prioritize everything. So that's exactly what it is. I was advised that I have to get this right or it could lead to damage. That's what made that decision."

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On the 26th, Meyer noted that his faith, family, and health dictated he step down.  On the 27th, he called Jeremy Foley and, after seeing practice, and told Jeremy Foley they needed to talk--and presumably before he talked with his family about his reversal.

I understand how difficult it must be to give up your livelihood (and your life?), only to see your successor go in a different direction.  You pour your all into building a program or ministry that the line separating you as a person from your handiwork becomes increasingly blurred. 

So, pastors, take note.  Your priorities are your relationship with God the Father through Christ, husband to your wife, father to your children, ministers to your church in that order. 

To retool one of Jesus, saying: "What does it gain a minister if he builds a thriving ministry, but loses his family?"� 

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Dr. Matthew R. Perry is pastor of Boone's Creek Baptist Church, Lexington, Kentucky.  He runs a blog entitled Gripped by the Gospel.