Top 50 Fantastically Funny Sports Quotes: Part II (No. 30-39)

Athletes have so many things to worry about. They have to worry about their individual performance, and their team making the playoffs, and their bodies not breaking down from injury, and the endorsements staying afloat. 

That's a lot of things to worry about. 

Apparently the one thing they don't worry about is what they say to the media. There is too much to do.

Thankfully, we have reporters who record these precious and hilarious quotes from these athletes.

Here's Part II. Enjoy*

*Note* Most of them involve Charles Barkley

Number 39: Paul Pierce

"You don't trust your girlfriend when you first get with her. I mean, you've been with her one month. What, you ready to get married? You trust her already? You've got to do a background check."

-- Paul Pierce on trusting his Boston teammates (before KG, Allen, Rondo)

Number 38: Tony Womack

"Batting first, seventh, eighth or ninth, Tony Womack just wants to play. I don't have an ego problem." 

-- Tony Womack*

*note* It's difficult to convince people you don't have an ego problem when you refer to yourself in the third person. 

Number 37: David Stern

"Yes it was unanimous, 1-0, and I won."

-- NBA commissioner David Stern on his decision to suspend Ron Artest for the season after the Pistons-Pacers brawl. 

Number 36: David Ortiz

"We're all idiots here. We all have fun. We all hug, kiss, grab, whatever."

-- David Ortiz on the 2004 Red Sox

Number 35: Mike Tyson

"The knee feels fine, I've been training Confuciously."

--Mike Tyson* explaining the training for his latest comeback, 2004

*note* Tyson always tries to say stuff like this, but it never really seems to work out too well.

Number 34: Shannon Sharpe

"I would rather die in an abandoned building, by myself and my family not know anything, than play for him."

-- Shannon Sharpe* on New York Giant's coach Tom Coughlin

*note* This is called an overreaction. 

Number 33: Oscar Goodman

"I drink to excess, I gamble to excess, but everyone knows it, so it's not a big deal."

-- Las Vegas mayor Oscar Goodman to MLB officials

Number 32: Ron Artest

"Having a record company and putting out my own CD. There's clothes and shoes. There's also an upcoming book deal that I'm trying to do. I'm trying to be positive. I'm a big fan of the Nobel Peace Prize."

-- Ron Artest*

*note* I think a lot of people are pretty big fans of the Nobel Peace Prize

Number 31: Will Poole

"I like to sneak a game or two of 'Madden' somewhere in between studying and sleeping; it helps me unwind and get my mind off football for a little bit."

-- Miami Dolphins CB Will Poole on "staying away" from football when he's not practicing. 

Number 30: Mike Tyson

"I may have smoked too much weed, but I wasn't taking drugs or anything."

-- Mike Tyson after losing to Lennox Lewis.