The Official Miami Dolphins Fan Guide To Watching 'Hard Knocks'

Every year, the NFL's legions of fans anxiously await the arrival of HBO's acclaimed series, Hard Knocks. 

Hard Knocks, which annually airs throughout August, chronicles the training camp and preseason trials of one particular NFL team.  The show follows the journeys of players fighting for roster spots, starting spots, and as is the case this year, bigger paychecks.  It is far and away the most in depth look the average fan will ever receive to an NFL locker room.

Beyonds its access, though, Hard Knocks presents some of the finest entertainment in television, especially during summer weeknights when networks put their premier shows on hiatus.  

This year, however, Hard Knocks has taken a turn for the worse.

Rather than choosing an innocent, likeable team for this year's installment, the folks at HBO did the unthinkable.  They chose to follow the New York Jets.

In other words, Hard Knocks has been ruined for Dolfans.  We'll have to writhe in agony is Rex Ryan guarantees a Super Bowl a hundred times and Ladainian Tomlinson tells us how he has been reborn since joining the Jets.

Fortunately, there are advantages to having your least favorite team featured on the NFL's best production.  HBO is sure to follow the following players and story-lines, so if you keep a negative, irritated attitude while you watch Hard Knocks, you can actually enjoy it.

Rex Ryan

Yes, we will be receiving a very healthy dose of Rex Ryan over the next month; although, there is nothing healthy about Rex Ryan.

If you thought hearing Ryan blab about his team over scattered press conferences throughout offseason was bad, then prepare for battle.  The head coach of the Hard Knocks team is a feature character for the show, and the NFL's loudest coach will have a platform to mouth off on everything he desires, when he desires, for as long as he desires.

Just remember, Rex lost his weight surgically, and Coach Sparano did it the all natural way.

Over / Under: Rex Ryan guarantees a Super Bowl 4.5 times?

Holdout Island

Darrelle Revis has had a great offseason doing everything but play football. The evidence lies within the Bleacher Report database which holds pages upon pages of Revis photo shoots.

Revis is currently entrenched in a messy contract dispute, which both he and Jets owner Woody Johnson believe could last throughout the entire regular season.

This gives us something to root for during Hard Knocks.  The longer Revis holds out, the less threatening the Jets defense looks.  More importantly, Brandon Marshall will be spared two trips to Revis Island.

Let's just hope the Jets botch these contract negotiations.

Sanchise

Sanchise, poise, Sanchise, poise. Sanchise. Sanchise. Poise. Poise. Sanchise, poise.

It makes me ears bleed, and we'll be hearing plenty of it during Hard Knocks.

Prepare to hear about Mark Sanchez's newfound dedication to watching film. How he is the first one to arrive at the facilities in the morning and the last one to leave at night.  And, of course, how he is just so darn poised.

Over / Under: The word "poise" is used in reference to Mark Sanchez 11 times throughout the duration of the show?

He Whose Name Shall Not Be Mentioned

The player who publicly voiced his disliking of the Jets, got in verbal spats with Jets fans, and terrorized Vinny Testaverde and Chad Pennington for almost a decade is now sleeping with the enemy.

This will be the toughest subplot for Dolfans to digest, and many of you may not be able to.

It's hard to blame him for leaving Miami, but joining Gang Green? Ouch.

Either way, seeing him parade around in green and white should be enough to get your blood boiling and your Jets hatred going for 2010.

New Additions

Ladainian Tomlinson, Antonio Cromartie, and Santonio Holmes will all don green and white this year, meaning they will soon become objects of your disgust.

And while there has been plenty of hoopla surrounding the Jets new acquisitions, remember these things:

1. Ladainian Tomlinson is old.  He has been ineffective for the last two seasons and will sit behind Shonn Greene.  At most, he will get a few goal-line carries and turn them into touchdowns.
2. Antonio Cromartie has seven kids in five different states.  He has also been ineffective with the Chargers over the past few seasons.
3. Santonio Holmes will serve a four game suspension to start the 2010 season.