The Chelsea Daily Drivel - Thursday 15th July 2010

"“Since I have been back I've been training with the first team which is really good, and hopefully I can go on from here. I thought it would be a lot harder but it's been alright so far, the fitness has been fine and I hope I can be involved in pre-season. The game against Crystal Palace is coming up on Saturday, and hopefully I can be involved with that, and then this season I really want to make my debut"

""John Obi is slightly in advance of Michael Essien but they are both working very well indeed. They have been working double sessions for the last week and we will get them really firing before the season starts"."

""Yossi is doing well. He has said the pre-season training here is so different to what they did at Liverpool where they didn't use a ball. They ran and they ran and they ran. But here we use the ball all the time and we feel we get the best out of the guys by using the ball day in day out. I think Yossi is quite enjoying himself.""

""One good game could be enough to attract the interest of a big club. I don't know the names of the clubs that are after me, but it would be a dream for me to play for a big club such as Barcelona, Real Madrid or Chelsea.""

"He may have raised countless millions for those in real poverty but the constant diving (which he has admittedly toned down) and barracking of officials has made him a player who attracts a great deal of anger."

"Allegedly sleeping with your former team mate’s other half will never help your popularity and the ensuing farce that followed, where allegation after allegation filled the tabloid press pages, meant the Stamford Bridge man lost the captaincy of his country. Some blame that debacle as one of the reasons England failed in South Africa, which is a little hard to swallow. Nonetheless the battling centre back scores high in the hate stakes."

"Another player who left Arsenal in somewhat controversial circumstances, having ‘accidentally’ found himself in the same hotel as various Chelsea representatives with a pen in his hand and a wish to make oodles of cash, Mr. Cole furthered his tarnished reputation by cheating on his ludicrously hot wife Cheryl with a myriad of rather cheap looking loose women. Apparently on the verge of a move to Real Madrid where he may well look to send sexy texts to an entirely new set of cheap looking loose women."