NBA Diplomacy: LeBron James Will Choose More Than One Team (Satire)

We all need to show LeBron a little bit of sympathy. 

After all, it is difficult to have to deal with a bunch of billionaires fighting over which one gets to pay you in excess of $100 Million over the next several years.

It is a terrible burden to have sports fans everywhere hanging on your every word and gesture.

It must be a harsh reality to wake up in the morning with a license to print money.

In the end, LeBron has made the only decision that makes sense.  He will not play for one team next year.  He'll play for all his suitors.

Here's the loophole that allows this.

Players may be signed to 10 day contracts.  LeBron will sign a series of these agreements, allowing him to spend the first two months of the season playing in Cleveland, Miami, Chicago, New York, New Jersey, and Los Angeles (Clippers).

He will then star in a prime time special in which he will reveal which team will retain his services for the duration of the season. 

Then, starting in July 2011, he will return to Free Agency, and will determine his final destination for the next six years.  The decision will be made by sending the owners of the contending team to an island near Bora Bora, where they will compete in a series of challenges, while trying to woo a single woman by singing popular songs in front of a panel of judges.

Absurd, you say?

Well... be honest.

A week ago you probably would have called the notion of a prime time LeBron: Decision 2010 special absurd too.

Just make your choice, LeBron.  You're a far more interesting basketball player than you are a celebrity.