12 Steps From Loser Town!

There are support groups for pretty much every malady out there nowadays, for both the serious issues in life and the ridiculous ones. Cancer patients can find resources for much needed camaraderie and fellowship to help them through their struggles. Of course, there are also the slightly more superfluous groups that assist with things such as sex addiction (also known as “EVERY guy on the planet disorder”) and shopping addiction (also known as “Quit spending all your money, dummy!”).

I want to know why there isn’t an organization to help us poor fools who root for hapless sports teams?

Come on, the stress related to being a Pittsburgh Pirates’ fan can cause a severe rise in blood pressure, as well as contributing to ulcers and other intestinal disorders. When the team begins their yearly fire sale of all their quality talent, the results can be nausea and vomiting that would make H1N1 jealous!

My favorite sports teams are the aforementioned Pirates, the Milwaukee Bucks, the Dallas Cowboys and Notre Dame football… What I want to know is, where the heck is my 12-step program?!

No one seems to take the suffering of us followers of the downtrodden, the have-nots and the just-don’t-cares seriously. Sports are a big deal to many of us. We have to deal with the chest pains, headaches and embarrassment of crying in front of all our buddies, yet no one considers this an affliction worth supporting with a fellowship group.

In case you’ve already forgotten, this past season, the Milwaukee Bucks made a very impressive run at the end of the year. They went from on the bubble as to whether or not they’d be around for the post season to being a serious contender no one wanted to draw in the first round in a matter of a few weeks.

Then, of course, their star who had finally come into his own and was leading the team on their tear into the playoffs, Andrew Bogut, physically demolished himself in a sickening manner with just a few games left in the regular season. While the video of the injury may not be Theismann-esque, it is certainly gruesome and spelled the end of any real threat of the Bucks going anywhere in the playoffs.

Was anyone offering me condolences or offering support? Nope.

As is the nature of guys, my friends instead took great delight – not in Bogut’s injury – but in the little sobs I was making all day at work following the night of horror on the court.

I say we, the fans of the have-nots and the also-rans, start our own support group. Come on, you Cubbie supporters! Get on board, you Buffalo Bills backers, who know all too well the pain of being so close and yet so far!

I’d start the whole thing myself, but I will soon be leaving your ranks, as this is the year Brian Kelly returns the Irish to the National Title!

…Oh yea, one of the 12 steps should definitely confront delusional thoughts and predictions…